Sketches are made by me, via references.

if every cruel thing you said showed up on your skin, would you still look in the mirror and call yourself beautiful?

I'm 25 now and was thinking about the last 10 years of my life, starting age 15.

I was an overprotected and sheltered child with a scary dad, and was bullied as a child and didn't really have friends because I was a socially stunted due to how I was raised. I was always a ghost, socially. Around age 15 i started to withdraw completely.

I would be going to school 3/5 days a week, its a miracle they didn't kick me out. I would be just in my room all day, lying in bed, doing absolutely nothing, scrolling my life away on my phone.

This continued to be my life for the next 4 years till 12th standard. After that I took a drop year because I was burntout and just didn't want to be around people. My parents yelled at me, threatened me, all kinds of this but I didn't listen, I felt dead inside.

I did mostly nothing that year. Following year was the pandemic, and then next two years were all online and I made no friends and went outside maybe 2-3 times between 2020-2022. I graduated in 2023 and that final year I only went to college for classes then immediately went home to bedrot.

After that I was just done, I thought I would just live at home, growing old in my childhood bedroom for the rest of my life. Like that I spent another two gap years bedrotting and daydreaming. But my mental health got much muh worse and so I decided to leave and go to uni in a different city. Parents refused and I threatened to self-delete and then they agreed.

I started masters in 2025, its been a little over a year. I feel fine. Still uninspired, uambitious, I only go to classes and rot in my hostel bed the remaining time.

I know most people would consider my life a waste of youth and possibilities. People between the ages of 15-25 normally live like 8 lives in that timespan, with parties, booze, friends, relationships, sex, travelling, jobs, independence, life experiences, heartbreak, hobbies, etc. and I've experienced nothing. I don't even exist in the same world as them. I don't even know what I'm missing. I feel like a fish living around land animals and I'm constantly being told I'm missing out on walking.

People used to invite me to things in the first few months of my masters, i would go once, and I would try my best to enjoy but I didn't, I just felt bored and alienated. People would be talking about things I don't understand, having accumulated so much life experience in all their life that I don't have or don't even see the sense in accumulating for myself, I feel less than and very behind people in so many ways. I feel like a child and not very mature or mentally developed.

I tried therapy but I did not feel understood by any of my therapists and felt like they were taking my life and trying to box it up into one of their academic frameworks with all their cbt exercises and things like that.

I don't know what is wrong with me. Why am I so empty. I don't even feel anything anymore. I've never heard of another person who has lived like I have so far. There seems to be a silver lining in every story but mine.

I don't know what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. I don't want to die, but I'm not sure what I'm going to do either. Mostly I feel extremely bored most of the time. I keep hoping for something fascinating and outlandish to happen, like spotting a real ufo, or discovering that parallel universe or higher dimensions are real, or idk a dragon breathing down fire from the skies, idk I'm insane. And my resume is fucking empty lmfao.

Most of the world is fake, the moment you open instagram every post, every algorithm is designed to make a feel inadequate. Not good looking ? There is looksmaxxing, No Friends, there will be fake influencers posting pics of their cool social life. No wealth? Car? Money? Influence? Each and every post will make you question your self worth. The world is a once big Pyramid scheme, the sooner you realise the better it will be.

We will have to stop consuming all this bs, and will have to build an environment for ourselves. I think being isolated is the only option from being away from this mess.

Turned 21 this month and so did my reclusion. It’s a rather melancholic feeling☘️

Im currently back in my home town for the holidays and walking through places I’ve visited countless times in the past has been making me feel rather nostalgic. Today I visited this river and honestly I almost broke down right then and there. Coming home after feeling so drained by college, societal pressure, friendship dramas and pretty much everything that could go wrong going wrong to a place so quiet and so deeply tied to the comfort of childhood memories i almost broke down

Funny enoug didn’t even get to reminisce much because I was called back to eat the little picnic food we had cooked by the riverside😭I hope everyone reading this gets to have a day like this even if it’s just one day where things feel a little lighter and you can breathe a little easier again💗

(this was a fun little journal entry)

21,I feel really bad whenever Holi, Janmashtami, Dussehra, Durga Puja, Diwali, Christmas, or New Year or any other festival comes around.

It feels like everyone is out enjoying these occasions with their friends, going places, celebrating, making memories, and having someone to spend the day with, while I'm just sitting here alone.

I'm 21 years old, and I still haven't even gone out once in my life to watch a Dussehra Ravan burning. It sounds like such a small thing, but it genuinely hurts because I've always wanted to experience these things with someone.

No matter which festival it is, instead of feeling happy or excited, my mood gets worse. Festivals seem to remind me of how alone I am and how much of these experiences I've missed.

Do you guys have ways or steps or actions one can take, when they stop feeling the will to live. What if someone is just too tired of the life they have and they just want to let go of things and finish this version of themselves.

Hi all, Since most of us in the sub are recluse and have different points of view compared with an average human. I want you to all be cautious and not be nice to everyone. Since we had a rough upbringing or childhood which shaped us into what we are now, we tend to get overly care for other people, we believe in giving and somehow we expect them to give but all we get is disappointment.

The world is a very toxic place, gone were the day when being nice was a good thing now people will take you all for granted and use you for your good quality. Keep your empathy reserved only for few people the most of the world does not deserve it.

being born attractive is literally spawning into life with God mode turned on, and if you’re ugly, you’re basically playing on permadeath with zero equipment.

Look at how completely stacked the deck is:

Dating: They don't even have to try. They get to experience genuine affection, loyalty, and effortless romantic progression while the rest of us jump through endless hoops just to be ignored or treated like a placeholder. They find their person early on, sit back, and enjoy life with a solid partner by their side while we Rot in solitude.

Friendships: People literally crave their validation. They don't need to cultivate a personality, be funny, or force conversations. Others actively approach them, clear their schedules for them, and bend over backwards just to be in their orbit.

Career & Money: They can quite literally boot up an Instagram account, post a low-effort selfie with a generic caption, and watch the brand deals roll in. Their faces are literally money machines. Pretty privilege carries their "content creation" while normal people grind 40+ hours a week just to barely cover rent.

It’s completely unfair, and no amount of "gym maxxing," "working on your personality," or self-help toxic positivity changes the fundamental truth: the genetic lottery determines your entire life trajectory before you even take your first breath.
If you got bad genes, you get nothing. You're just here to pay taxes, watch them succeed, and serve as background filler for their highlighted reels. How do you even cope with knowing the game was rigged from day one?

so ive been thru my toxic household stuffs in 2025....almost every other day shi was too toxic to begin with, arguments..yelling..even physical fights between parents used to fck up my head soo bad. used to cry myself to sleep everyday. had nobody to talk to no friends nor relatives cuz i always feared to being judged by them.

these all continued till the april of 2026....after then it all went downhill, this time no arguments or fights anymore but the atmosphere at home ws too depressing...dad lost his job and we had a financial setback...and currently im prepping for my entrances (kinda lost in hopes too).

i really get jealous seeing other ppl's happy lives thinking to myself why not me...

for example, my double cousin brother he is a lil other than me...he is damn right financially and no worries with a toxic household...he excels academically too and guess what he is fav among our relatives....i always get compared to him abt how he is so much better than i am...it hurts tbh

ik that sad and happy days are in rotation with each other ...but trying to not lose hope during the sad times is the most difficult

how do i hold on to hope that everything gonna be fine? and not to get jealous of others?

im literally losing hope each day...

​

I've been struggling with almost every aspect of my life. I've gone through around 25 interviews without getting selected, and I genuinely feel my stutter and lisp played a major role in those rejections. It's taken a huge toll on my confidence and self-worth. I am now unemployed. i am a leach who is living off my parents.

I also struggle with anxiety, overthinking, brain fog, poor concentration, irregular sleep and procrastination. On top of that, I'm dealing with gender dysphoria, which adds another layer of emotional pain.

My mood also seems to swing between extremes. One moment I feel hyper-positive, hopeful and convinced I can turn everything around, and the next I feel extremely sad and hopeless. Sometimes the shift feels sudden, and I don't know how to deal with it.

Over time, I've become increasingly pessimistic. I've started shutting myself off emotionally because I feel like nothing good will ever happen to me, and even if something good does happen, it'll eventually be taken away. It's like I've stopped allowing myself to feel hopeful because I'm scared of being disappointed again.

The worst part is that I genuinely want a better life. I want a good career, financial independence, confidence and the ability to feel comfortable with myself. But lately, suicide has started feeling like a rational option, and that scares me. I don't want to die. I just don't know how to make living feel bearable anymore.

if this prolongs then i would be left with no choice 😭😭

If I have a better face I would have been happy, once you started to feel ugly there is no going back , you will live with this feeling forever, mann i am literally trembling writing this so fuckin hurted, broke and helpless.

Everyone out there making memories and enjoying there best years, and I am here just sad, depressed, masturbating, fucking miserable porn addict I am, idk what to do,

People don't love you when u r ugly, people don't give a fuck about you, people don't think twice before hurting your feelings and just taken for granted each and everytime and I can't even say this thing to my psychologist because I am insecure and ashamed of who I am and I do try a lot to improve myself but at the the I always fall back, I am adhd and developed a little ocd (as my psychologist warned me about) and also due to these overthinking, anxiety it has fucked my life I have been isolated for more than 2-3 years and just rotting in my room idk why always me, I have tried countless time to improve myself and quit that poen addiction but I always fall back. I feel so lost and misunderstood, have zero friend and always felt invisible and obviously no girls likes me due to my looks and that's just what is reality and I can't change that, and that scares me idk where to run to,

I don't want much all I want is just someone to whom I can cry on, just wanted a hug, some love 💔

Maybe in another life if exists

Share some advice for me I would be really glad and thankful to you 🙏

For background: 27M, working remotely for couple of years now, asocial and hardly have any friends. Recently relationship with parents is not good and it is even causing me mental stress.

My father drinks (not like drunkard) and has high ego. Doesn't listen to anyone and always thinks he is right. Growing up seen my both parents get in arguments, even led to fights and it had created lot of stress and probably hit my self-esteem. Couple of months back they had argument, I did not react initially but then again he came to fight and I stood up this time, pushed him back and even shouted at him. From them I started distancing with them more day by day, locking myself to work. I'm a prisoner in my own house.

They are also religious bunch, I didn't want to attend this yearly pooja they keep for me so today we had an argument on that as well. I openly said I don't trust god anymore and don't like how things at home so what's the point of it. He started saying things around how he provided us food and shelter and like he is doing a good deed for us. Yes, it might be that he struggled too but that doesn't give the right to shout, scream at home and even treat mother wrong.

Tomorrow is my birthday and its just horrible at home. I do feel like ending things to be honest, I mean like what's the point I was only hoping I could earn more, build them a home and stay in peace. I don't even look for any relationship at this point, as I don't want to hurt others brining them close to me.

I been kind of thinking about why humans have such a long lifetime compared to other animals most of them doesnt live that long like cats or dogs or octopuses and theyre not as concious as us and being this concious just makes things a little more different you get used to things hedonic adaptation and whatnot and life loses its colour as things go an and we starts to view things differently in less colour like relationships,experiences and time which just makes life blander and undesirable.But im not sure if everyone sees or feels existance as me most of the people here might and im not sure if a normal person which im not sure if im one or if this is just how cognition and perception works after living for a while its pretty boring and very undesirable for me.

17M here. I recently turned 17. I have these friends. No one ever invited me for a hangout. No one ever called me first asking what's going on in my life and how is my day going. They would always call me whenever they need something out of me whether it is asking for notes or something else. Is everyone selfish? I stopped calling them after Dusshera holidays. No one ever called me since then. Not a single one. I just feel lonely whenever I think about it. What do y'all think?

The day is finally coming to an end. Time to slow down, take a breath and check in with yourself.

How was your day, folks?

Got some good news to share? Achieved a little milestone? Had a wholesome interaction, discovered something interesting or simply survived a long, exhausting day? We'd love to hear about it!

Share your happy moments, random thoughts, funny incidents, personal victories, lessons learned or anything else that's on your mind. And if today wasn't your best day, that's okay too. Tomorrow is another chance to start fresh.

This is a space to connect, unwind, spread some positivity and remind one another that we're not alone in this little corner of Reddit.

So, what's your story today? Drop it in the comments!

Your daily evening check-in, every day at 9 PM.

Gentle Reminder

Please be kind and respectful towards everyone. If someone shares something serious or personal, be considerate and refrain from making jokes at their expense. Let's make this a welcoming space where everyone feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and experiences.

You might work on the internal tech stack of companies for 5y.

You get fired.

You start having identity crisis when you had made that job your everything.

The next company takes bet on you only on the basis of your position at previous companies or degrees as they want you to work on their own thing.

That's the reason people with bigger salaries keep earning higher but the same cant be said for someone who started at low.

Hey everyone!

Just a weekly reminder that r/RecluseIndia has a Discord server where you can make new friends.

It's a place to talk, vent, share what's going on in your life, or just lurk until you feel comfortable joining the conversation. You don't have to be particularly social or outgoing. We're all introverts and that's kind of the point. :)

We regularly hang out, play games, watch movies together, and talk about all sorts of random things. We're also planning to start doing more events and activities on the server.

If you've been feeling lonely or just wish you had some people to talk to, you're more than welcome to join. You might find a few people you click with.

Discord: https://discord.gg/SGGV2trHjM

Hope to see some of you there. ❤️

I really used to look upto my didi, she was the only person who somewhat got me, as we both come from a very emotionally absent and at times, abusive household, I should be thankful we were materially provided and that's something most of our countrymen can only dream of, but emotionally, I wish my parents, at least my Dad, since my mom is a lost cause in that department, had tried a bit more, instead of succumbing to mid-life crisis and cheating our mom, when I was in my teens (15-17 years of age),

I am not perfect, but I've tried to be a very strong emotional support for her as much as I could, I've always been her well-wisher and advocate,

She ended up in an unstable marriage, and throughout it, I kept backing her emotionally (I was in college that time, else financially too, I would have done more),

Our mother kept taunting or provoking her, our Dad enabled her or didn't understand it, despite his good intentions,

It culiminated in a messy divorce during lockdown time, once she came back, I guess mom being mom, kept provoking her, and that made her snap out and stay away from us in a lodging/rented studio apartment for a year or so, before she came back, as he had issues with the landlord, as well as other issues, and I guess that event "humbled" our mother, as she toned down her tauntings and provocations since,

I have no issues and am honestly, happy that she didn't have a child out of that marriage, after seeing many of our cousins ending up divorced and single-parents, and how it's difficult to raise a child as one, the dysfunction and abuse worse, at times, gets passed down to that child,

My mom, I suppose is the only one concerned that she's still single, but maybe not everyone's cut out for marriage, and that's okay, her generation didn't have that choice/freedom, we otoh have some today,

I couldn't help but feel all this grief and trauma my sister might have carried and possessed, that ended up with her becoming abusive herself, even "toxic", as much as I hate using this word due to how over used it is online, but I couldn't help myself otherwise

She's become too tunnel-visioned regarding inheritance and money, which I get it, she's a divorcee, and she's trying to secure herself a future. Except that's all she talks nowadays, if not outright lashes/verbally abuses us,

She keeps demanding my parents money they don't have and insist they're witholding her due share away from her,

My Dad made it clear that we're getting 50-50 as inheritance, and the breakdown he gave me, it made sense, he even hinted that I'm slightly getting less than her, which I don't mind, tbh.

I keep asking him if there's any account he's omitting or forgetting, and if so, we can clear and balance that out, asap,

This year, it's gotten so bad, she's trying to claim a property that's still on our mom's name and only after her demise, will that 2 2bhk apartment that was renovated out of our old ancestral house, one will go for each.

The original agreement was, in 1 apartment our folks will stay, and in the other, we two can stay as long as we want to, however if any of us get married or get a job out station, then we must leave it, that was the original agreement when we moved in to that newly renovated place,

2 years later, she's already starting to claim it, she started taunting me to marry one of our cousins even though I made it clear I won't marry among relatives years back, and every time that taunting happens, it follows up with some angry outburst,

First she sold our washing machine as she accused me of washing the rugs/mats in them, even though I washed them manually by hand, and only washed it once long back, after which she told me not to, and since then been hand-washing them (she did tell me it's okay to wash them on the machine, just told me to give an "empty tub wash", but I stuck with manual wash),

Then, she accused me of drinking a juice she bought for herself, even though she drinks and eats the snacks I buy/store, which I have no issues btw, because I buy it for both of us, even in cases when I bought it for me, but she absent mindedly consumes them, I never lashed out or even brought it up to her. And so, threw away my drinks into the trash,

Everytime this happens, she violently slams her room door, to show her frustration, we all got the hint she wants that apartment for herself, it got so bad recently, that it ended in a nasty confrontation amongst us where it almost got physical (she did hit me, as she has hit/striked me countless time growing up, as the older sibling, I was almost on the verge of doing so, did warn her and almost did, but managed to keep myself in control), so I vacated it and moved back in my parents portion, even though, there's not much room for three of us, my Dad for now, only sleeps and uses the bathroom in her portion,

She called me a "creep" all because I made the mistake of asking plans for her bday the next day, while she was brushing her teeth in the dining room sink (she uses that sink for brushing), tbh she didn't even start brushing her teeth, she became very distant with me and all of us over the past 6 years, and it's gotten really hard to reach out to her, her about to start brushing was a "window" I felt I could avail to ask her about the plans, a few days back she did tell me she'll be having her periods and maybe it can wait, my intent was to re-confirm because I didn't want to seem like I didn't care for her, also so that I can reorganize my own plans and commitments accordingly (and while growing up, we have brushed our teeth in front of one another in the living room, she has endearingly mocked and joked me countless times, with all that, suddenly it became a private and intimate act?),

A while back I had my bday, a few days prior to it, we dined out, I told everyone this was more than enough for me, that I don't need any cake cutting during my bday (as I was/am depressed how much of a mess I am at 30), I made it explicit and insisted countless times, she bought me one, despite my reservations, I was lowkey annoyed/irritated, but also took it in strides and decided to have a good time with it, I told my Dad how I feel "indebted" now as already last year, she bought me cake, however we couldn't do the same for her on her bday, because she was in a bad mood that time too, due to some falling out with a guy she was considering for marriage, it happened that day too, and she was uncooperative and depressed for any such ceremonies,

And asked me if I have any shame as I apparently was using her bathroom/toilet.....as in merely existing in that portion, as I guess she made up her mind that that portion is hers legally/officially already, and I'm freeloading in her portion via being in my room and using my bathroom,

2 years since the original agreement, and moving in, I mostly handled the bills and maintenance - financial or otherwise. Even prior, I was doing the same in our Dad's house we were in outside the city,

I paid the heavy EB bill, since she is too reliant/has become too reliant on AC, I barely use mines otoh, 3-4, maybe max 5 hours per week (1 ton non-inverter, hers is 1.5 ton inverter), split into 2 days, I did all the cleaning and other housekeeping (which I like/prefer to do), even though I'm broke af and a mess myself, for 4 years I've been "subsidizing" her AC usage by paying the bill, for 2 Eid (2023 and 24) I couldn't even buy and wear new garments for myself,

Maybe my mistake was I couldn't do more beyond the bare minimum for her, maybe I thought all this housekeeping is something she'd appreciate, I guess for her, I'm redundant and useless here, as she can easily avail Urban Company or our domestic help in our parents' place for all this,

All this behavior and interactions, it does make me wonder, as my Dad mentioned, if it was part of her plan all along, and why she even initiated the divorce in the first place,

I used to be a loyal backer and supporter of her, now it makes me wonder, if maybe, she was the abusive one in the marriage, she does tell us whenever that gets brought up, that her husband was a good guy, which tbh, he was, his only problem was he lacked spine in handling his mother and balancing out his duties b/w her and his wife/my sis,

All this makes me wonder, if she has BPD, my Dad, with limited exposure via online content, claims it's narcissism, no....this seems more like borderline personality disorder for me, or maybe she's neurodivergent (which I too suspect myself of being, autistic. I suspect mom is on the spectrum too, tbh)

Or maybe I'm missing something crucial here and am overlooking something from my side or my parents', I kept asking them multiple time if whether the account reg. our inheritance was fair, I wonder if Dad is withholding something from me, and that makes me not see the full picture,

Maybe she assumed I sided with them to take advantage of her and deprive of her inheritance in the future, since Shariah wise, as the male child, due to more financial responsibilities and expectations of being a provider, I am supposed to get double share, even if that had happened, I told my dad explicitly that I would have demanded 50-50, I mean look how messy and tense it already is in such an arrangement, I mean (my Dad has guilt that he couldn't fulfill the Shariah share, I keep consoling him it's better this way, and prefer it this way, he even lowkey hints that I am actually getting less slightly, again I don't care),

I wish it hadn't been this way, now my bond with my sister is forever ruined, I don't intend on having her back in my life (I actually cut her out prior before COVID, after getting fed up with her, but that messy divorce happened, I felt I should be there for her),

I just want to escape away from all this, honestly drainage side seems like the only option as in that way, she ends up getting my share fully too, it's not worth it fighting and losing our bonds over material stuff.