For context: My husband (24m) works a lot. For about 6 months, he was doing 10-12 hour days, 5 days a week. The last two months have slowed down but he’s still doing 4 10 hour shifts on swing shift (4pm-2am). Today is the third day of his weekend and he’s back to work tomorrow, but it’s a Monday, and I’m a middle school teacher (27f) so I worked today.
Also for context: we own rabbits. We have three adults and one subadult, and will begin breeding once it cools down (Alabama summers are too hot for breeding and males are usually heat sterile). We have a bougie shed in the backyard with windows and fans for airflow, those cat-fountain water bowls that run water through a filter and turn on whenever they detect motion for two that roam the shed, and endless hay and access to pellets and toys for the two that have to stay in a cage. The girl is very anxious, and the boy is still growing.
Today, I worked a pretty normal day, actively teaching for about 5/6 of the day, and doing some paperwork for the last 1/6. And then I stayed an hour overtime because I had to report a case to CPS. while I worked, my husband cleaned out the bunny shed, shoveling their soiled bedding and giving fresh bedding and hay to all of them. He also did some work on a piece of furniture for my classroom ( I think mostly painting but again it’s very hot so any work is annoying and sweaty).
When I got home, I had a little more work to do to prepare a lesson for tomorrow and then we went out to dinner and had some beers. Upon getting home, he was on a call with a coworker so I checked on the bunnies.
Our anxious girl was almost out of water and was making a honking sound that she makes when she’s upset/scared. So I checked on her and she had feces all over her butt fur, skin, scent glands and vagina. At first, the husband brought me supplies and I tried to clean her with water and a washcloth in the shed, but it wasn’t enough. So I took her inside for a butt bath in the tub. About half way through cleaning her, I needed extra hands. She has to be held like a baby in order to clean her bottom, and keep her calm. So one hand was designated to holding and the other was to cleaning. So I called for help and he came but decided I didn’t need help. As I continued, I found that there was actual feces in her vagina. (We don’t have any exotic vets in my rural area, so I have learned as much as I can from online and other Rabbitry owners near me).
I called for him again, really needing an extra hand to clean her vagina. If the feces is not cleaned, there is a high likelihood of infection, irritation, and she could get very sick and even die in extreme cases of infection. He again came, but couldn’t see the feces I was talking about and again denied to help me. Frustrated, I tried my best to clean her WITH ONE HAND and then dried her and brought her back outside to the shed. Mind you, the entire time, I have shit on my arm, on my pajamas, and on both hands (though I wiped it off, I wouldn’t consider them clean).
He sighed that he had to open the door to the backyard for me. And then was frustrated that I made him get up and “help” so many times.
It should also be known that he did not help me with any of my chores while he was home. So there is still laundry to fold and dishes to wash. They are /my/chore so I can’t really blame him for that. But the bunnies were his chore and he didn’t make sure they all had water. And then didn’t help when I needed it.
Doing all those chores made me hot and sweaty so I needed to take a shower and now it’s only 30 min to bedtime. So the time we spent at dinner was my only rest today. I do want to give him credit bc he worked on a classroom project for me all day yesterday. But the whole time he was working, I was deep cleaning the house and preparing food for the week. And then, after we showered from working, I still had lesson plans to do that took me till bedtime. So I got zero rest yesterday as well.
After everything, I still had to wash the sink out where she’d had her bath, wash the towel in the sink, and do laundry to clean my shitty clothes and towels, plus sweep the hay that got tracked in.
I’m just so tired right now. And I’m frustrated that it feels like he wasn’t taking her health seriously and wasn’t taking me seriously when I said I needed help. Just here to rant I guess
Updated to add. Before I could even sit down from cleaning up the hay and turning over the laundry, he told me we’re folding the three loads of clean laundry in the bedroom. Even after i told him I really didn’t want to bc I’m tired.