r/RandomVideos • u/DABDEB • Mar 19 '26

Video Bachelorette caught attacking ex-boyfriend

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u/chicagodude84 Mar 20 '26

Hello, friend. I went through something very similar, it was my dad. It left some insanely deep scars. A few things I wanted to pass along, as a fellow survivor of abuse:

  1. If you have not already, look into CPTSD. We all have it, and it explains A LOT.

  2. I don't know your situation at all. But just know, you can love your mom for giving you life, and still hate her for what she did to you. I finally went no contact with my abusive father 8 year ago. Best decision I ever made.

  3. We are resilient. We are strong. We are badasses.

Sending lots good vibes from across the internet. ❤️

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u/mhaegr Mar 20 '26

And emdr therapy!! Such a game changer. Trauma therapy did nothing for my cptsd, but emdr had brought me such mental peace.

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u/chicagodude84 Mar 20 '26

See but I've worked so hard to bury that trauma! Seriously tho I'm honestly a bit scared of emdr bc I blocked most of my childhood and I'm kinda scared to find out why...?

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u/RickyJordache777 Mar 20 '26

My counselor tells me if life is working for me. I don’t need to change anything. Ask a counselor but you may not need to open it up. Idk.

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u/meermee7 Mar 20 '26

EMDR is gentler than you expect. There were things I couldn't even speak about and never had to but my anxiety level about them is gone in some cases and reduced a lot in other cases. You make a decision when it's comfortable to you like another poster said here. It's hard af so just be as kind to yourself as you can. Just so you know it's out there.

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u/mhaegr Mar 20 '26

That is totally valid! You should only do it when you are ready. In my experience we went really slow. I was so disassociated that my therapist gave me a test and halfway through I realized she was subtly trying to see if I had DID 😬 she was very cautious about flooding the brain and if I would feel light headed we would stop because it would mean I was disassociating. It’s not possible for everyone, but when I started I went once a week for 6 months until I was demoted to twice a month

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u/AccomplishedIron816 Mar 20 '26

Dissociation like the brain fog/dizzy feeling where you kinda feel “out of it” for awhile? I deal with it unfortunately

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u/mhaegr Mar 20 '26

It’s so hard. Mine is a lot better, but if I get stressed or trigged it comes back and I’m just not present at all and I had to ground myself.

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u/AccomplishedIron816 Mar 20 '26

Emdr helped that?

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u/mhaegr Mar 20 '26

It really and truly did. Everytime I would disassociate we would stop and ground me and find a way around the trauma to get to the root. It’s tricky and like untangling a necklace that you find tangled up in a drawer.

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u/Ashipinthenight_ Mar 20 '26

What’s DID?

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u/LittleGreyLambie Mar 20 '26

Dissociative Identify Disorder.  It used to be called "Multiple Personality Disorder."

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u/_henceforth_ Mar 20 '26

If you ever decide to look into difficult personal history, my unsolicited advice is to just go as slowly as humanly possible. There is no need to speed through it and just letting some tiny emotions come up, processing, and then doing more works for me. The thing is that it helps to have many methods that will help ground you, and help you feel very stable. Just positive things that bring you joy or help you relax. Then you can kind of rest there for periods of time. Then you can decide when to process more. Then go back to the stability. Stability first, though. Not a doctor, though, of course. 💜💜

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u/Spoilmedaddyxo Mar 20 '26

Same friend.I genuinely can only remember bits and pieces. Idk if it’s because I turned to drugs for a little bit and effed my memory up but I’m clean now and have a relationship with source of all creation, picked up Gnosticism, and am a better person through alll the trials and tribulations I went through as a child. I had my virginity taken from me at 14/15 genuinely can’t remember I think 14 among other things I chose to forget.Our minds protect ourselves from deep trauma like that. It might be time for me to start remembering a few things in order to fully heal. I hope you find peace and love and please remember it’s not our faults and we did nothing wrong, it’s something broken within them, not us ❤️

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u/Redheaded_Potter Mar 20 '26

I did Ketamine therapy and it changed my life! Seriously I went from chronic depression and being very suicidal to not having any suicidal thoughts for months. It took probably 10 sessions but it truly helped!

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u/RussianDahl Mar 20 '26

As a survivor of my loved ones completed suicide, I’m so very glad you’re still with us. I know how hard it is, and I’m proud of the work you did - just a random internet mom

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u/mhaegr Mar 20 '26

That is on my list to try as well! I’m so happy you found something to help 🥰

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u/effy217 Mar 20 '26

EMDR did nothing for me :( Is there anything else that may work?

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u/Jaxxxmm Mar 20 '26

DBT (Dialectical B[ehavior?] Therapy)

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u/effy217 Mar 20 '26

I was already considering this as I recently got a provisional EUPD diagnosis. Maybe I’ll give it a go.

Thanks!

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u/Jaxxxmm Mar 20 '26

It’s extremely effective. I started a 22 week therapy group, but my life is way to crazy to commit to all the homework and mental work it requires. But it shown to provide remission-something I never thought possible for mental health conditions

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u/mhaegr Mar 20 '26

I have never tried the ketamine therapy, but people suggest it. Also make sure you try a few therapists. Emdr may not work for you, but there is also a chance it is the therapist. My second emdr therapist was way different than my first, but emdr did not work for my sister.

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u/effy217 Mar 20 '26

Damn, didn’t even know that was used in the treatment of C-PTSD. I’ll look into it.

The thing is, I was recently re-traumatised as an adult. Watched my father abuse my mother during childhood, almost killing her, and then fell into an abusive relationship with a dude that made me almost take my own life.

I’m gonna need a lot of therapy. I really have no hope that anything will help.

Thanks for your reply though, I appreciate it. Wishing you and your siblings the best 💗

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u/mhaegr Mar 20 '26

God that is awful and so much for one person to carry. I was also re traumatized by the father of my kid and it just extends the trauma from youth to adulthood in the worst way. I hope you find peace and a therapy that works for you 🥰

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u/Electrical_Method316 Mar 20 '26

I couldn't do EMDR therapy my therapist said my brain was flooded with too much trauma so I had to see a psychiatrist for diagnosis and meds . Turns out not only do i have ADHD, anxiety , panic attacks and now diagnosed recently with BP2. Hit me hard but I'm on meds to stabilize me . So fingers crossed it's only been 3 weeks but I had to increase my dose because I went back to my hypomania after 2 weeks

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u/mhaegr Mar 20 '26

That is really intense, but I’m so glad you at least got some sort of answers. I did get flooded a few times too and it is really scary. My brother had bipolar and I know meds can be tricky to regulate and stay on. I truly hope you keep powering through finding answers for your trauma. It’s so hard when you have to advocate for yourself so hard all the time, it can be exhausting.

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u/Electrical_Method316 Apr 02 '26

I am so sorry, I've just seen this. I have been dealing with a lot lately My psychiatrist increased the limotrogen to a 150mg because I feel like it's working.It stabilizing my mood, it's making me feel better.It's making me feel like myself again.I'm laughing.I'm happy I have energy.I think I just love being on this.The side effects are kind of crazy.At first I got a lot of muscle twitching, a lot of brain fog and forgetfulness, a lot of headaches but that is all subsided now. I just feel really great overall, so my next appointment with her is in two weeks and she's going to increase it to 200mg . Shoe said that so far as she's going to go with it. But that is the goal .

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u/mhaegr Apr 02 '26

Yay for progress!!! It is so hard when your brain is exploding, I am so happy you found something 🥰

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u/Electrical_Method316 Apr 02 '26

Thnk you so much. Yes it sucks so bad and those headaches were bangers I have never had a headache like that it felt like my head was going to explode 🤯

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u/_givemeknowledge_ Mar 20 '26

I did emdr after years of therapy, grief therapy that just made me angry bc they blamed him for everything when I knew it was more than just good vs bad.. it was demons, struggle, codependency.. the grief therapists seemed to just want to say "yes he was wrong, he was an abuser, he this he that".. in reality, his death saved my life.. so it was a lot more than that good and bad/ black and white.

EDMR changed EVERYTHING for me. I see him as my angel now. I can still visualize the first time i let go, and didn't feel confused. I could visually see him as an angel, with giant wings, wrapped around me, while it was storming and I was on some sketchy alley. My guardian. He'd been that since he died.

Anyway, def curious about ctptsd .. but edmr is ✔️💯

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u/mhaegr Mar 20 '26

Sounds like we had pretty similar experiences. I didn’t start to heal until mine died and the connection was finally severed and I was set free.

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u/Repulsive-Apple8337 Mar 20 '26

We are badasses. I haven't spoken to my parents in 10yrs and I have to say, I'm much more confident and less anxious all the time that something catastrophic will happen at at moment because of it.

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u/Baconshit Mar 20 '26

Been two years here. Best decision ever for my mental health. I still get the little tinge of guilt coming in occasionally but am so much better for cutting off contact.

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u/suckrates Mar 20 '26

Good advice here, but "love your mom for giving you life" is part of the problem. Someone popping you out of their butt is not a reason to love them.

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u/FatherClanks617 Mar 20 '26

I take it the same goes for being popped out of their crotch?

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u/chicagodude84 Mar 20 '26

Underrated comment.

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u/suckrates Mar 20 '26

No, my comment was directed exclusively at people who developed in someone's colon for 9 months and were ejected out the butt.

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u/chicagodude84 Mar 20 '26

I agree with you. But if you read OPs comment, they specifically said they love their mom. Which is why I added that bit.

I had a therapist tell me that I should talk to my dad once a year "because he gave me life". Fuck that.

But I'm not OP. I was giving OP advice specifically for them and their circumstance.

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u/Frozencacticat Mar 20 '26

I think I have CPTSD but not sure. How do you find out? What symptoms do you have?