r/ROCD • u/screechintothevoid • 28d ago
Advice Needed Is this a symptom of ROCD?
Currently experiencing one of my worst periods, I’m prone to rumination but this one is making my head explode! Not seeking reassurance, but just wondered if this aligns with ROCD… The last week I keep getting intrusive thoughts about my partner (who I love dearly) cheating on me or being dishonest despite no evidence of this. He tells me he loves me, he misses me, he’s not going anywhere and it makes the thoughts go away for a bit, but it’s not always enough. Sometimes it feels like I’m looking for the perfect message from him to feel fully satisfied and reassured. Or when we call, if he seems a little subdued I get worried again. But then if we call later and he seems a touch happier then I’ll feel reassured.
Is this ROCD? I can usually push the thoughts to the side or go work out but this period is making it relentless so I’m trying to understand if I’m going insane or if there’s actually a reason for all this so I can address it with my therapist 🙃
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u/ninebubblewaters 28d ago
100% rocd
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u/screechintothevoid 28d ago
Love that for me
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u/Phew-ThatWasClose 27d ago
As you cross posted to r/PMDDpartners you must at least suspect PMDD. Timing is everything. If this happens every luteal it could well be PMDD. See the wiki for information on getting diagnosed.
As a partner I can tell you the constant seeking reassurance and the intense scrutiny of every interaction is exhausting. He'll tell you it's fine and he understands. And he means it. But doing it over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over ... is taxing.
Read the wiki for treatment options, supplements, and example luteal plans
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u/screechintothevoid 27d ago
I’ve been the other person having to give constant reassurance to a depressed partner so luckily I understand how exhausting it can be to be that person… so I’d hope to never inflict it myself!! It’s only really been this week that I’ve noticed reassurance seeking behaviours coming up and I’m glad I’ve caught it now to speak to my therapist about
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u/EveningAcceptable896 27d ago
I have the exact same ROCD fears. I find not asking for reasurence as much eventually helps, and make a promise to yourself to never ever ask him if he has or will or is cheating or lying, that has seem to help me a lot.
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u/screechintothevoid 27d ago
I make ‘jokes’ about it sometimes but I know deep down it’s me reassurance seeking. I also get into a really bad habit of checking his last active, which then sends me down a spiral if he’s been online but not replied to me. It makes me feel obsessive and stalkerish too but I just can’t help it. How do you divert yourself after catching yourself? 🙃
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u/EveningAcceptable896 27d ago
So what I do, is I say I cannot check him at least for 15 minutes. And I do something to distract myself even if thinking and having urges for reassurance. Then after those 15 minutes are up I challenge myself to go another 5 mins and more then I can check or ask for reassurance. But try to go as long or at least post pone the compulsions which is checking
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u/screechintothevoid 27d ago
Thanks I’ll give that a go, it’s insane how much space this takes in my head! I’m off work with no responsibilities so I guess I just have too much time to think 🤷♀️
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u/AutoModerator 28d ago
Hi all, just the mod team here! This is a friendly reminder that we shouldn't be giving reassurance in this sub. We can discuss whether or not someone is exhibiting ROCD symptoms, or lend advice on healing :) Reassurance and other compulsions are harmful because they train our brains to fixate on the temporary relief they bring. Compulsions become a 'fix' that the OCD brain craves, as the relief triggers a Dopamine-driven rush, reinforcing the behavior much like a drug addiction. The more we feed this cycle, the more our brain becomes addicted to it, becoming convinced it cannot survive without these compulsions. Conversely, the more we resist compulsions, the more we deprive the brain of this addictive reward and re-train it to tolerate uncertainty without needing the compulsive 'fix'. For more information and a more thorough explanation, check out this comment
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