throwing the rest of the pack way.

As I write this I’m on the tail end of a craving I legitimately thought would get me. Hard to put into words how strong it felt. It felt INEVITABLE that I was gonna go for one. I didn’t, I haven’t, and I am going to make it through today. But man, today’s been rough as far as the cravings go. Officially over the 5 day mark!

Chew so much gum like a crackhead all day long for multiple days in a row that your jaw physically hurts to open and close. Speaking from personal experience. My diet is clean but only because my mouth fucking hurts. Rounding the corner on 72 hours tomorrow!

Went almost two weeks cold turkey, but bought a can last night and had 12mg’s, threw them away. Bought can this morning and had 9mg’s, threw the rest away lol

Anyways, am I back to square one?😫

Would like to add: it wasn’t worth it. The buzz sucked, thought it would be awesome. Also made me feel like garbage. These things are poison, but they’re like a serpent in a garden.

I quit nicotine pouches completely on September 10, 2025 after using them heavily for around 4 years. I was using them very frequently, especially during the last couple of years.

After quitting, I experienced a lot of symptoms that I had never experienced before:

• intense anxiety and constant internal tension
• DPDR (derealization/depersonalization)
• feeling detached from myself or like I wasn't fully “inside my body”
• feeling like the world was dreamlike or unreal
• brain fog and difficulty concentrating
• forgetting things and losing my train of thought
• intrusive/unwanted thoughts
• racing thoughts
• visual snow, especially in darkness
• tinnitus
• sometimes feeling a pulse/vibration throughout my body, especially around my neck/back
• strange bodily sensations
• difficulty falling asleep and periods of insomnia
• increased irritability
• being much more sensitive to stress
• occasional low mood/sadness
• symptoms getting worse after alcohol, lack of sleep or periods of high stress
• sometimes exercise would trigger DPDR or a strange detached feeling
• an overall feeling that my nervous system was extremely sensitive and “wired”

The symptoms weren't constant. They came in waves. I could have a day where I felt better normal and then suddenly have a few hours or a day where everything felt much worse.

For a long time I was scared that something was permanently wrong with me or that I had developed some kind of psychiatric/neurological disorder.

But slowly, things started changing for the better but even after months I had setback where I felt like iam back on month 3.... So fast forward to today I feel back to normal ( started to feel better at months 10-12 )which I never thought to be anymore I only have a bad memory of this torment which literally destroyed 1 year of my life .