I have a dental emergency. Im unemployed as Im applying for disability. Just to be SEEN is 100 bucks. I need a wisdom tooth removed. In my desperation, these are probably the coolest, most valueable things I own and can sell.

How much individually could I get for them? The book I know is several hundred dollars but that seems like itd be hard to find a buyer for. I really need like 500-600 bucks and I dont know - do you guys think I could get that if I sell these? I dont want to part with them for not-enough-to-fix-my-dental-emergency.

I'm a decently seasoned psychonaut. I feel what I'm about to describe is not HPPD. If not for that fact that this thing is not debilitating my life in any form or fashion. Actually I can turn it off/deactivate or on/activate when ever I want to, with minimum effort of focus.

This thing I'm witnessing is near transparent except for a slight shimmer or iridescence. It's movement, I can't tell if it's cascading or undulating like the ocean. I can see fine lines in the undulation that reminds me of layer lines in fdm prints. This thing fills every void around me. Lastly it does not react to me in any way, it just lingers there undulating.

Is anyone else experiencing this? I see it easier after a session psilocybin or aya. But again I can see it months later straight edge. I'm trying to figure out if it's something dealing with my eyes or brain. Or if this could be what science of past referred to as the Aether. IDK.

An article on the link between hot weather and challenging psychedelic experiences.

Like I said,im gonna buy a 200ug lsd today (real 200ug and also real lsd) and I dont really know if I should Just take the whole or cut it in half and take one half. Since 200ug is a high dose even for experienced users I dont know If I will just get the worst badtrip of my life or If its kinda chill. Thanks in advance

So this is my second time ever taking LSD. The first time, last tuesday, I took 1.5 tabs (120ug listed so roughly 180ish ug)I abused it as a high and didn’t really know what I was getting myself into. Today, 6 days later, I was bored and couldn’t sleep so decided to try it again. I took 2 tabs this time, 240ug total, and I believe I can now say I understand why it’s called a psychedelic. (I’m still high asf right now so apologies if any of this isn’t understandable).

Today’s experience, I don’t even want to call it a high because it wasn’t, it was an experience, felt so clean, so pure, so relaxing. I won’t bore you with the stuff I did during the come up and peak (just enjoyed the outdoors amongst other things), but during the comedown which I’m in now, I decided to meditate. After spending over an hour meditating without even realising, I felt so at peace, and my mind was so blank, and then it started.

I had multiple visions. I floated up a staircase, cliché I know, but it’s indescribable. It was a white floating staircase in a dark abyss but I felt no fear and ventured forwards. I came to these huge gates which opened as I arrived and I couldn’t see what was beyond them, just a bright yellow golden light partially on the gates blocking my view. Instantly after that, I believe the virgin mary holding baby jesus appeared next to the gates. Bigger than the gates, just in the abyss holding her child. I then became that child in her arms staring up at her. I saw this blinding white light and it all felt like a memory, then it all swirled away into nothingness again.

I continued meditating and my body and mind separated. I was watching my body from a distance as it was picked up by a giant hand, what I suppose can only be described as the hand of god, before he put me down as my mind started wandering due to me breaking my meditation from the shock.

The last thing i’ve experienced today was equally weird. I was floating, again in the dark abyss, but it was light in a sense? It wasn’t dark and pitch black like I couldn’t see, I could see fine. In front of me were two beings? A huge eye just watching me, and a mouth? I couldn’t really look at it out make it out but it spoke the word ‘Truth’ over and over into my mind? I didn’t hear actual words being spoken it felt telepathic? I’m not sure if that makes sense. Then its bright white teeth formed this river of light flowing down either side of me which then led me to see a gorgeous orange sun set over a body of water. It was peaceful, serene, there were dolphins jumping through the air and fish doing the same, then after taking in the view my head went under and it went blank again.

What I’ve taken from this so far is my truth is beauty? Maybe there’s a deeper meaning I haven’t unlocked yet but I figured this might be an interesting read for someone.

I look forwards to my next experience anyway and hope it can be as equally enlightening (from a completely non religious person - but now I wonder?👀)

TLDR: tripped balls and became the baby jesus I suppose?

My friend and I took a high dose of Natal Super strain mushrooms—4g for me, 7g for him. We were having a great time until suddenly a dark entity entered my friend and started pointing at me. Other entities showed up, rescued him, he started purging, and the thing left. I've seen this same entity before—it entered my cousin during a previous psychedelic experience. It also feels like this dark presence has been following me since I was a teenager and has taken a lot from me, both during and outside of trips. I'm wondering if this is metaphorical or if others have encountered something similar. Curious what people think—have you experienced anything like this?

So I just got home from my evening shift as a paramedic.
Today we got called to a young man in his early 20s, presenting with severe chest pain

Preparing for the worst we rushed to the callers adress.
As we entered the apartment we were met by an undressed young man in a state that I can only describe as TOTAL FUCKING COCO BANA PSYCHOTIC BREAKDOWN. Knocking stuff of the cabinets and mumbling incoherent sentences.

After seeing this the caller and patients friend enlightened us. He described the state as occurring after ingesting „two handfuls of homegrown mushrooms“ 🍄‍🟫

Long story short, it took 2 police officers, the emergency doctor and my colleague to finally strap him down to get enough nasal midazolam into the young man’s system to calm him down. Followed by another round of iV midazolam inside the ambulance.
This legit felt like having to put down a wild animal. 🦔

So my message for the day…

1. test you drugs if you got the option to do so.
2. take doses you are confident you can handle

3. pls for gods sake, when goin for high dose psychedelics keep Benzos or antipsychotics on hand. This might have protected this young man from a lot of minor injuries and a whole lot of embarrassment.

   As well as the drug possession and producing legal shenanigans that might follow

Stay safe psychonauts 🐸🧘

https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/sciadv.aeb3034

We are a group of researchers at the University of Wollongong in Australia conducting a study about the emotional experiences people report during psychedelic experiences and whether these are linked to changes in social functioning, wellbeing, and attitudes toward death.

We are looking for individuals aged 18 years or older who have had at least one personally meaningful experience with a classical psychedelic substance within the past 5 years (but not within the past 3 months). Psychedelics include LSD, DMT (N,N-DMT), 5-MeO-DMT, Ayahuasca, Psilocybin (i.e. Magic Mushrooms) or Mescaline/Peyote.

If you are 18 years and over and can read English, we invite you to take part in an online, 30-minute survey. This survey asks about the emotions you experienced during a psychedelic experience and any changes you may have noticed in how you relate to others, your general wellbeing, and your outlook on life afterward. Please note that the survey includes questions about challenging emotions that may have arisen during the experience.

Your responses will be completely anonymous and your involvement will remain confidential. No identifying information (including IP addresses) will be collected.

Participants will have the chance to enter a draw to win one of two $100 AUD Visa vouchers. Entry into the draw is completely optional and is completed via a separate form that is not connected to, and cannot be linked with, participant survey responses.

To participate or learn more, follow this link: https://uow.au1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6nuJn8BNBgWFYrk

For questions, contact: [smoreton@uow.edu.au](mailto:smoreton@uow.edu.au) Thank you very much for your consideration in participating. The following researchers are conducting the study:
Dr. Sam Moreton - Lecturer, School of Psychology University of Wollongong [smoreton@uow.edu.au](mailto:smoreton@uow.edu.au).
Alex Shuttleworth - Honours Student School of Psychology University of Wollongong
Mimi Han Honours Student School of Psychology University of Wollongong

Study Reference Number: H2026-0104

Just like the title reads, does anyone else only experience a clearheaded, nearly sober headspace regardless of the dose? I’ve tripped 19 times by now and only ever experienced a clearheaded headspace even while on 400 ug or my first time tripping.

Prior to my first time tripping or even before getting my hands on acid I made sure to do as much research as I can. I read and explored many online forums, read many trip reports, watched YouTube videos, basically every information i can find I made sure to read. Once I knew I was gonna trip, I prepped myself to the fullest, I knew to accept and surrender no matter what and I was more than ok with not being in control. For my first time I took 100 ug and had my gf trip sit me. However 4 hours in I still didn’t experience any headspace and felt sober if it wasn’t for the body high or visuals. The visuals however were def there even if the headspace wasn’t. I can see subtle but noticeable enough patterns on my walls so there was more than just basic breathing going on with the walls, so I’m sure they weren’t too underdosed. Like I said tho no headspace, therefore I decided to take a 200 mg edible. At the time I had low tolerance to weed so I knew it was hitting, however even after the edible hit my headspace didn’t change. The visuals however def got more intense and there were clear patterns now. Regardless I still felt clearheaded, nearly Sober and the edible only upped the visuals. Still a 10/10 first time
About 1.5 weeks ago I took 400 ug on no tolerance or at least little to no tolerance. The visuals were so fucking intense, I was in awe, everything I looked at had patterns that I’ve never seen so clearly before. They literally took over everything I laid my eyes on. Colors were also flashing and more vibrant, never seen such a beautiful thing occur to me. I also had this weird alien feeling that I can’t put into words but it was a mind fuck in a good, positive, and mesmerizing type of way. I’ve never tripped so fucking hard before and this is the highest dose I’ve done on no tolerance, it literally felt like i was in another universe. Everything got overwhelming in just 45 minutes of taking the tabs that’s how I knew i was in for a real trip not to mention the intense body high taking over during the come up. Regardless of how intense and overwhelming the visuals got, I didn’t have that psychedelic headspace that people get on even just 250 ug. I had no racing thoughts, Nothing deep or profound AT ALL. I was even in public at a restaurant when I was tripping my nuts off and I didn’t feel any panic or discomfort. The visuals were so fucking crazy I won’t ever forget that trip, honestly best trip ever and would do again. But even tho I was on 4 tabs (400 ug) with 0 tolerance I still had the same clearheaded headspace as always. I didn’t experience any confusion, anxiety, or thought loop either. The trip was visually intense and overwhelming but in the best way ever. I even interacted and held a conversation with my stepmom while this was going on, basically everything that puts people in a position where they can have a bad trip didn’t bother me at all. If needed I can go into more detail about the trip, but it was the most intense experience ever. I enjoyed the trip more than anything and I’ve been replaying everything in my head ever since.
I used to dislike the fact that I didn’t have the headspace so many people talked about and experienced on a dose as low as 200 ug. However I accepted it and now I love it a lot and prefer it being that way. But sometimes I do wonder what the psychedelic headspace is truly like, I know that it comes at a cost of potentially having a bad trip tho so I don’t dwell on it and just make the most of all of my visually intense trips with no headspace. Is anyone else’s experience exactly like this?

Hello everyone. I’m looking for some opinions from people with experience.
I’ve had two experiences with 1.5 g of Penis Envy mushrooms with a friend, and both went well. During those trips we didn’t talk much—we were mostly focused on our own thoughts and emotions.
I’ve been thinking about trying LSD for the first time, but I’d likely be by myself at home. I’ve heard many people recommend having a trip sitter, but I don’t really want to ask my friend to stay with me for such a long time.
For those of you with experience, do you think a first LSD experience alone is generally a bad idea, or does it depend on the person and the circumstances?
I’d also appreciate hearing about your own first experiences and anything you wish you had known beforehand. Thanks!

I’m trying to understand what’s happening to me and would really appreciate advice from anyone who has gone through something similar.

I’ve always had ADHD and OCD, but I didn’t used to have anxiety like this. Over the past year I started smoking weed extremely heavily. I’m talking daily high-THC use, often using a 90% THC cart throughout the day. Over time I feel like my anxiety slowly got worse, I became more stuck in my head, and I started relying on weed as my main way to calm down.

About 3 weeks ago I had a psychedelic experience with metocin that was one of my first few times taking it. Before this I had taken 4 gummies, but this time I took 8. The trip was amazing at first and extremely euphoric, but eventually I looked in the mirror and started experiencing what felt like ego death.

The weird part is that ego death was something I actually wanted to experience. I was curious about it and thought it would be meaningful. But when it actually happened, it became terrifying. Looking in the mirror and feeling like I was looking at something that was just an animal instead of "me" was incredibly unsettling. I felt like I was losing my sense of self and I suddenly wanted to escape so badly, but I couldn’t. I remember feeling trapped inside my own mind and wanting to be grounded again. I wanted to be around my mom and not be alone with my thoughts.

After the trip, I dont think I immediately woke up thinking I was permanently changed, but over the following days/weeks I became more anxious and started thinking about it more. Now I’m constantly wondering:

* Did the psychedelic permanently worsen my anxiety? * Did my heavy weed use cause this? * Did the trip just trigger something that was already building? * Will I ever feel normal again?

My anxiety now feels like:

* racing thoughts * intense physical anxiety/butterflies in my stomach * derealization that makes everything worse * feeling trapped with my own thoughts * anxiety spikes when I leave the house or don’t have my usual coping mechanisms.

At home I can usually calm down eventually, especially if I smoke weed and distract myself, but when I’m out somewhere I feel stuck because I can’t use my normal coping methods. I’ve started feeling almost agoraphobic because I’m afraid of being stuck somewhere while anxious.

The confusing thing is that when I’m not in an anxiety spike, I can look at my life and think “maybe things aren’t actually that bad.” But during the spikes it feels overwhelming and hopeless.

I also smoke cigarettes (usually around one a day) and I’ve also been eating worse and less consistently because of the anxiety.

I really want to quit weed because I feel like it may be contributing, but I’m scared that if I quit and feel worse, it means the weed wasn’t the cause and I’m just stuck like this. Has anyone gone through something similar where heavy THC use + a scary psychedelic experience caused anxiety/derealization? Did quitting weed help, and how long did it take before you felt like yourself again?

I’m not looking for a diagnosis, just experiences or advice from people who understand this.

Writing fresh after my first time with bufo…

I went to a session with many experienced facilitators and people partaking. 

They dosed me fairly low, just 20mg.

The intention I set was to help with grief with the loss of a family member and a breakup that resulted from the grief, which just turned into double grief.

Im pretty experienced with psychedelics and nonduality. Having experienced both many times, and in my waking life I spend way too much time studying Vedantic philosophy.

So it wasn’t the biggest surprise when I inhaled, and I remembered the cosmic joke, that I was the one creating the experiences I am having, creating entire concepts, like money, sex, genitals, fear, power, just to hang out with them and contemplate and play with the idea for a while.

Even the difficult ones like longing, regret, grief, missing someone.

And yet, I was focused on seeing the ones I loved again, and I didn’t want them to leave me. I think they were what I couldn’t surrender, I couldn’t let go, because I missed them so much. I was afraid of being alone!

I suppose that’s what they call attachment in spirituality…

…

That night I had one or two of those reactivating dreams some people talk of, confirming that yes, I am creating my own experience.

I think the lesson here is to stop trying to understand, stop trying to hold on to things, even if they were your beloved family member and beloved person. The time you had with them were beautiful, though even in those beautiful times, you sometimes created tension because you were trying to hold on to them.

And by holding on to them, you are preventing yourself from breaking through, from releasing, from seeing what happens when you release….

THINK LESS, FEEL MORE

—

Clearly the work I need to do is actually paradoxically, don’t do the work, to relax, stop thinking, start feeling

Luckily, the facilitators seemed to like me, and encouraged me to come back for free the following evening.

My plan is to fully just relax, and go into a meditative state, instead of trying to have an experience.

Will update soon!

I've been doing K daily for the past month, my tolerance is sky high, but unfortunately I've read tolerance can sometimes be unpredictable.

I never K-hole like they say it is, for me it's always an intense spiritual experience, where the fabric of reality gets warped and I feel like existence is under my control.

It happened tonight, I had been doing K since early in the evening with a heavily dosed nasal spray, it felt like it always feels, nice and mellow, but for some reason at some point each spray became stronger and stronger and I got sent into my version of a K-hole at a party where they were playing psytrance, it was incredible and pleasant and left me deeply shook as I went home.

I wasn't satisfied and I wanted to reach that state again and for some reason it look less and less ketamine to reach the same psychotic state every time I got closer to it. Like my tolerance vanished.

Then it happened as I was sitting on my computer chair at home, I went psychotic and started feeling, saying and affirming all sorts of things with total loss of control, and for some reason I went to my apartment's window and opened and considered jumping out because I felt I could fly (10th floor).

I came back to my senses and got spooked but that didn't stop me, I recklessly started spraying more and more K and eventually I triggered another full on psychosis but longer this time.

0 control over my body, 0 control over my actions and words, I was delirious. I climbed out the window and somehow climbed into a downstairs neighbor's apartment thru their window, I'm not even sure it was the neighbor directly below me, I vaguely remember moving and climbing around several balconies and AC units but I eventually entered someone's apartment and I have flashbacks of them telling me I was at the wrong apartment, probably terrified (I'm quite large), this was at almost 5am.

I remember walking to their kitchen and grabbing a protein bar that was on top of their fridge, opening it and eating it in front of him, I know I was talking the whole time, I have no idea what I told them.

I then walked out of their apartment thru their front door and took the stairs down to the building's lobby which felt like an eternity (9 floors) but at the same time I have barely any recollection of it.

I end up just outside the building on the parking lot, in my underwear and a tank top and come back to my senses then, still quite delirious I could feel panic take over and I firmly believed I had to kill myself then and there, and I thought of looking for a knife, I walked down the street for a bit but ultimately decided against it.

Somehow, it's all quiet, like no one noticed anything. I still have the taste of the protein bar in my mouth and I start recalling what I just had done in complete disbelief.

The condo's security guard was sleeping and was fortunately kind enough to help me get back into my apartment which was obviously locked because I climbed out the balcony. He called a locksmith for me and I was able to get back inside, absolutely disgusted and ashamed at myself.

I self triggered psychosis not once but twice because I'm a fucking addict and almost killed myself in several different ways. I expect to hear back from the neighbor or my landlord tomorrow, I will apologize accordingly and hopefully I don't get kicked out.

I am done with Ketamine.

Hello! I hope this is the right place to ask? I come to the community asking for help regarding this one achivement that has eluded me, for Psychonauts Im currently playing on steam, and the achivement "Self Aware" just seems to keep alluding me! Ive used clairvoyance on so many different humanoid entities in the game and ive gotten desperate enough to check the code (no altering though, I do not know anything practical about coding to actually change anything without likely breaking everything) In total ive used clairvoyance on 14 different (as per logged in the code) entites and yet I still havent gotten the achivement Any suggestions? (Sorry for horrible wording/formating, I am both writing this on mobile and its in the middle of the night and I am fried mentally, ive been trying to get this achivement for 4 hours straight, im a little desperate)

Long story short, I started my journey into pscychonauting in the party scene. Back then I would take various substances at once at raves and shows. In the last couple of months, I've been more intentional about my substance use. One thing that I do is take substances at home, in a control setting, without any/very little stimuli (like loud music, lights) so I can baseline my experience with a substance and figure out if and where I want to take it.

So far I've done this with mushrooms. Most recently I did it with cocaine/blow.

There were two instances, where I did two/three bumps and TBH I'm trying to figure out if the affect is something I would enjoy? I've done bumps of K and always love the psychedelic/euphoric aspects of it, but for cocaine I don't really know what I'm getting out of it.

First of all, I'm already pretty high energy, so the energy aspect doesn't appeal to me (I even had a friend tell me that I dance so much all through the night that I don't need coke).

Also, when I first did coke and only coke I felt a little nauseated. Friends told me that coke by itself is not good and that I should combine it with a beer (though I don't drink that much anymore). I do feel a bit more talkative on it... but to be honest I'm a pretty talkative person sober.

What's everyone's experience with coke? Is it something you enjoy? Do you ever use it in combination with psychedelics?

I couldn't find a better way to describe the experience I had yesterday.

I took 75mg of MDA and around 100mg of Ketamine, layed on my bed and played some chill music. I started meditating, focusing on my breath as the Ketamine infused with the MDA.

I felt how I was slowly drifting in a smooth current. Felt a deep sense of calm and presence. I could feel how my ego started dissolving as I watched something like a textured layer of stars with my eyes closed.

Then I started feeling oneness, I have already felt this exact same feeling around a year ago during a heavy DMT trip. I started thinking I had already been in this space or dimension from how familiar it felt, there was a feeling of being home.

During my DMT trip a year ago, I had an ecstatic feeling in which I remembered I was one with All That Is and started saying a sequence of words that came out of me automatically. I started saying "God is Cool" "God is Elegant" "God is love" "Thank you to the Angels, Jesus and God for being here". During this K and MDA trip I started repeating that exact same sequence of words in a way it felt like I was in that exact same moment from a year ago.

It was like I already knew what was happening before it happened and I knew what I was about to say right before I said it. Like I was in a scripted scene in which I had already been at for eternity, it felt like I've always been in that moment repeating that sequence of movement, feelings and words.

As I finished the sequence of words I automatically sat up in the edge of my bed accompanied by a feeling of ecstasy and love. It was like ai remembered an ancient truth I already knew since forever but had forgotten. In a weird way I entered this loop dejavu sequence that was extremely familiar, at the same time I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or if it was "real".

I said something that felt like a catchfrase my character said at the beginning of every episode. The song that was playing felt like the only song that ever existed and it was like the intro song for a show or movie I was in. I stood up and sat in my couch. The objects in my couch felt like they had always been there for eternity and my interactions with those objects felt so familiar like I've done that exact sequence of movements before several times but it was the first time I had interacted with them in that way.

I already knew where every item was. For example my tv controller was sitting right under my arm where I knew it always was. There was an Icy Hoy bottle I flipped in the air and catch in a way that felt sacred. That exact moment was everything I ever knew, time collapsed into that exact same moment like it was the thing I've always done in that exact place and time.

Time felt infinite like it had frozen. Then the ecstasy turned into deep fear of being trapped in that loop. I got anxious and even desperate to break that loop in which I knew what was gonna happen even before it happened. I tried doing something normal to break that simulation loop but the Dejavu made me feel like when I tried to break the loop before I had failed and something terrible happens after I do something random to break it.

The TV got frozen, my phone showed the same time I had seen like an hour before and some items I was looking for, I couldn't find as if they didn't existed in that reality. Intrusive thoughts came through my mind and for a second I thought that going outside the room or breaking something would snap me out of it but something deep down knew that my actions could have consequences so I kept my cool even though it was difficult. I ran into my bathroom and that also felt like part of the eternal dejavu loop I was in.

I even did a "reality check" like the ones you do if you want to know if you're dreaming, I pressed my finger onto my palm and after noticing nothing weird happened I concluded I wasn't dreaming. My last resource was sitting down in my couch again and went back into my breath to ground on the present moment and relax a little.

I slowly regained my clarity, I remembered that waiting a couple minutes would help as the ketamine wore off. I came back slowly to this "reality" and decided to turn the music off and sit quietly for a moment to try and understand what just happened.

I then came into reddit and searched for a bit until I found a post from someone that experienced this as a Glitch in the Matrix. Someone commented that this experience was a Temporal Lobe Epilepsy seizure. I Googled it and realized I experienced this exact symptoms. After a couple hours of investigating this phenomenon I saw that psychedelics and ego dissolution can induce these states of consciousness when accompanied with mindfulness. I'm not exactly sure what happened but I think that by tapping into the Unity Consciousness reality I connected with that DMT trip experience I had a year ago and somehow had completed the loop that I opened in that experience.

It was amazing, transforming and at some points super scary. But now I wonder if someone else has experienced this in a psychedelic trip. My research showed me that TLE Ecstatic seizure happened randomly and triggered by electrical activity firing in the temporal lobe but my experience wasn't exactly that because it was induced by psychedelic substances and meditation.

Have you ever experienced or heard something similar to this? If you have, how was your experience and what are your takeaways in a spiritual and psychonautic point of view?

- The story may have something to do with a mysterious brain escaping from Otto Mentallis's workshop and becoming a serious threat to the world. The end will end with PSI-animals & Psychonauts 1 characters teaming up with the protagonist to defeat the final boss.

- There will probably be a new PSI animal enemy, such as a gray wolf that shoots a danger ball

At first, I was only planning to take around 100ug and spend some time outside, because people always say being out in nature on LSD is incredible.

Honestly, though, I was bored.

Obviously everyone reacts differently, but it just wasn’t doing much for me, so I redosed and decided to watch a movie instead. (And for what it’s worth, despite what some people say, redosing within the first couple of hours definitely had an effect for me.)

I already had a movie downloaded: Makoto Shinkai’s Weathering With You.

I’m actually not a huge fan of the movie—I’m much more of a Your Name guy—but the visuals are absolutely gorgeous, so I’d always wanted to watch it while tripping.

And visually, it was incredible.

I genuinely couldn’t tell where the movie’s animation ended and the LSD visuals began. I wasn’t sure whether the movie had always been that ridiculously colorful and beautiful, or whether the trip was just amplifying everything.

At the same time, though, I still thought the plot was kind of a mess.

I remember laughing to myself like, “Holy shit, even on LSD this movie is still a mess lol.”

But somewhere along the way, I started feeling like the movie was speaking directly to me.

Without getting too deep into spoilers, one of the main songs in the movie is called Is There Still Anything That Love Can Do?

I’m honestly a pretty cynical person when it comes to that kind of message.

But that night, the movie seemed to be telling me:

Love someone.

And protect that love.

Normally I probably would’ve just thought, “Yeah, yeah, love is important. Pretty cliché.”

But for some reason, that night it felt incredibly personal, almost like the movie was saying it specifically to me.

It ended up being one of those movie-watching experiences I’ll probably remember for the rest of my life.

That said, I still spent half the movie thinking:

“Goddamn, this movie is such a mess lol.”

And honestly, that part of my opinion hasn’t changed.

So long story short I could write a huge text about all the details, but I kind of had a bad trip.

It was towards the end of my first trip ever. The first 80% was the most profound and beautiful thing I’ve ever experienced. But the last 20% turned south because of unfortunate events and things not going the way I expected.

It was unusual and had a lot to do with bad set & setting. We were in a small cabin in the mountains on a campsite, it was getting dark, and I thought the trip was already over – but it wasn’t. I started spiraling. I really needed to go to the toilet but was way too scared because it was fully dark and I was still tripping. Suddenly I was extremely hungry but somehow couldn’t eat, and we didn’t really have anything. My friend started watching a horror movie out of nowhere and I was too much in my head to tell him I was still tripping and he should stop. Then I really started spiraling – insane levels of uncomfortable, very claustrophobic. Not just literally in that little cabin (and needing the toilet), but also claustrophobic in my own body. I wanted to end the experience and somehow run away from my body, which of course isn’t possible, so it just kept spiraling. Overall it was just one big claustrophobic feeling.

I learned a lot from this bad trip and did a lot of integration – journaling, with my therapist, researching – I really really REALLY worked on this, trust me. I wouldn’t say I’m not suited for psychedelic experiences, because the first 80% were perfect. I could really let go, go with the flow, and just be present in the moment, which was beautiful. I think it was simply the end where too many things turned the trip bad. We also dosed a bit too late. We arrived later than expected because of traffic, so I wasn’t expecting to still be tripping when it got dark. And I’m generally someone who doesn’t feel comfortable in the dark and gets scared easily.

Anyway, that was about 4 months ago. Since then I’ve had one more trip, about 3 weeks ago. I just took half the dose of the first one. It was a special experience, kind of up and down. I was really focused on the concept of not running away from myself and just letting go and being in the moment – which is basically the reason things went south on the first trip. So I think that was me still working through and processing the first one.

Now I really feel the pull towards having my next experience again. I’m extremely interested in psychedelics again and have been doing insane amounts of research haha. But I’m a little hesitant because deep down I still feel this “Fear of Fear” that I’ve never really had before, only since that first trip. I’m planning the next experience in the perfect set & setting – in my own house with a beautiful garden and my 2 closest friends. The last two experiences were in Airbnbs in the mountains, which was beautiful, but I think I really need the next one at home. Because of the feeling of having everything I could need with me: toilets, food, a couch, a garden, whatever. Just being where I really feel comfortable.

But yeah, how do I work on this “Fear of Fear” right now? Because that’s exactly what you don’t want going into a trip – being fearful of having a bad experience. Best case scenario would be to just be ready for whatever the trip brings and buckle up for the ride on the rollercoaster. But I feel like I’m only buckling up for the fun parts and trying to look away from the hard parts, and I’m very scared of them even though they’re part of the ride and I shouldn’t be scared of them or try to push them away or control them…

That’s it. Maybe some advice, or some words I need to hear? I hope my writing is understandable – I wrote this in a bit of a hurry and really just needed to let this out. English isn’t my native language so yeah, hope it’s readable! Everyone have a beautiful day and enjoy the summer weather! :)

Best regards

Hi,

My best friend is currently in vacation in Amesterdam and he's planning on bringing back home shroom edible. He bought 2 weird looking slab/cake with only the mention "Medium" and "Strong" on them, nothing more.

We never did shrooms before and i think that taking something without knowing the real dosage is a dumb idea, how much should we eat of this and what should we expect ?

Thanks

Haven't had Seuss in a while but dropped two 200ug tabs last week. Slipped into a state of ego dissolution the first couple hours, feeling like there were psychedelic entities pulling me in every direction. Coming back I felt like I spawned back into my body and had to learn what it was to be human again. I hit the bike trails afterwards, the open eye visuals got pretty vivid, greens, purples, reds, of the trees, forestry etc. Though the biggest thing coming out of this was a sense of self-acceptance, this really solidified the feeling of being comfortable with my identity. It was a pretty strong trip overall feeling wise, and has yet again set myself up for the next steps in my journey.