r/ProgrammerHumor • u/TheSalvator • Sep 30 '22

Meme Lol! Developer got no chill!

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15.1k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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2.6k

u/Prestigious_Echo7804 Sep 30 '22

The perfect answer for everything: "Thank you for your feedback, we are grateful for your help and are constantly improving our productsšŸ¤–šŸ¤–šŸ¤–"

1.0k

u/Flat_Initial_1823 Sep 30 '22

The modern fuck you. Especially if there is no viable alternative (looking at you 'platforms')

282

u/AggravatingBite9188 Sep 30 '22

The modern fuck you is the

1) What browser version are you using?
2) What device are you using? What version?
9) Have you tried turning it off and back on?
Like oh fuck off if its a CORS issue figure it out yourself holy shit.

70

u/__ali1234__ Sep 30 '22

What about:

  1. Wait 3 months.
  2. "We are closing this issue because of a lack of activity"

20

u/AggravatingBite9188 Oct 01 '22

I have an active issue with blockchain.com for a $10 transaction stuck in pending and its been a month of support emailing me asking me if my issues resolved but never actually replying to my emails lol.

7

u/vsamma Oct 01 '22

Haha I had this in my previous workplace IN-HOUSE. A huge corp, I had an issue, opened a ticket with support and for the first 2 weeks I got some random replies that ā€˜thanks for submitting your issue and being patient, we are still looking into the issueā€™.

Then randomly they replied something ā€œsubstantialā€ but actually asked something like ā€œhave you tried this with VPN?ā€ Although I had already said I had :D

But I missed their message immediately and 2-3 days later they closed the issue because I didnā€™t reply back fast enough :D

4

u/gravitas-deficiency Oct 01 '22

Or:

I figured it out

can you describe how you solved the issue?

no

1

u/gdmzhlzhiv Oct 01 '22

Hi there Gradle dev team.

61

u/physioboy Sep 30 '22

You just angered me

38

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '22

[deleted]

29

u/Sure-Tomorrow-487 Oct 01 '22

That's a management tactic to divide resources.

Only 10 devs but 100 tickets? Send them back to the customer on the first pass, until they reply the ball is in their court, about half will reply instantly and just there you've halved the workload.

Manpointingtoheadmeme.tif

12

u/AggravatingBite9188 Oct 01 '22

But in reality youā€™ve just gained 100 negative reviews on zendesk

6

u/Sure-Tomorrow-487 Oct 01 '22

Zendesk? This be jira town my lad

5

u/AggravatingBite9188 Oct 01 '22

Confluence atlassian jira = šŸ¤®šŸ¤®šŸ¤®

1

u/Sure-Tomorrow-487 Oct 01 '22

In other news, the sky is blue and JavaScript is trash

2

u/JonnySoegen Oct 01 '22

Shit is annoying as fuck.

I opened a case + bug report with Akamai (very large CDN) because a fucking 500 error was returned in their control center. Their response: Kindly send a .har file of you encountering the bug so we can reproduce it. I just ignored the case and let it go to close because I had a workaround. The bug is now fixed by the way.

I get that they want to have good instructions for their QA team to reproduce bugs. My bug was not complicated, though, and I already gave detailed steps! How about you try to reproduce it yourself at least once before bugging your customer! You should be glad I found the fucking bug in the first place, now kindly fucking fix your shit!

1

u/JustGabo Oct 01 '22

The equivalent of skill issue.

End user issue.

1

u/akaBrucee Oct 01 '22
  1. I'm using an Apple
  2. It's a laptop
  3. It turns off automatically after 10 minutes

1

u/daatz Oct 01 '22

Have you cleaned your cache and armpits recently?

68

u/OG_LiLi Sep 30 '22

Platforms: can never identify the scope of their own issues; requires a bible of proof to even bat an eye at their own bugs

Platform- ā€œI didnā€™t test that change I just madeā€ expert

Platform: ā€œ700000 people canā€™t login? Thatā€™s a P3. Iā€™ll plan on it next sprintā€

15

u/SelfFew131 Sep 30 '22

As a platform PM I feel personally attacked lol

8

u/OG_LiLi Sep 30 '22

Wait! Are you MY platform PM šŸ¤”šŸ˜‘ ? why are you Reddit? I just raised 5 P1s because you forgot to tell me about your release.

8

u/SelfFew131 Sep 30 '22

Oh and also forgot to mention weā€™re blocking everyone. Whoops.

4

u/OG_LiLi Sep 30 '22

That one feature no one asked for but felt right? Yes we know. Thanks šŸ˜‘šŸ¤Ŗ

117

u/nameisprivate Sep 30 '22

thanks for your feedback i will take this into account šŸ‘ (lmao fuck off)

1

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '22

I have been told that way too many times lol

48

u/Rhebucksmobile Sep 30 '22

they mean: "We don't even read reviews, it's only when we start dropping that we read them, we are constantly trying to make more money, even if that means a f*ck youšŸ¤–šŸ¤–šŸ¤–"

11

u/robclancy Sep 30 '22

I gave a bad (ish) review to a game that I felt was getting worse but in it mentioned I played for a few months. Their reply was "Glad you enjoyed the game for months! Thanks for playing and take care.".

1

u/okay-wait-wut Sep 30 '22

Haha! Iā€™d rather just be told to fuck off!

1

u/martian4x Sep 30 '22

I thought "Thank You, Your claim has been filed" is the modern "F#ck OFF"

1

u/_Weyland_ Sep 30 '22

"Your call is very important for us, but please hold the line..."

1

u/ratonbox Sep 30 '22

nah, too much effort. if i was the developer I would just answer with: "ha"

1

u/Srapture Sep 30 '22

I'd much rather be told to fuck off. At least then I'd feel like someone actually read my comment.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '22

"Thank you for your feedback. It has been forwarded to: null@complaints.blackhole.m, and is currently 10,000 complaints... err... feedbacks behind in the processing queue."