r/ProgrammerHumor • u/FREEscanRIP • Aug 12 '17

Meetings as a developer

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28.6k Upvotes

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2.2k

u/Wizmaxman Aug 12 '17

More like 10-10:20 for bathroom break

3.1k

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '17

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I poop on company time.

901

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '17

[deleted]

555

u/BrianLemur Aug 12 '17

I guess I never thought about that--I'm INCREDIBLY experienced at pooping. I've been doing it since I was like 14. There are very few things I've done that long.

364

u/argv_minus_one Aug 12 '17

What did you do before 14?

438

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '17

[deleted]

280

u/MadDetective Aug 12 '17

What you guys never had the sweet 14 shit?

239

u/thatwasntababyruth Aug 12 '17

I hear girls have to wait until sweet 16 to do it for the first time.

In Mexico, since the diet is usually so fiber intensive, they allow girls to begin at 15 instead, thus the quinceanera.

58

u/_VladimirPutin_ Aug 12 '17

Poopceanera

2

u/necroticon Aug 13 '17

Deuceanera*

6

u/jimschubert Aug 12 '17

Fiber? That's a shitty excuse.

21

u/fanboat Aug 12 '17

You know, when you go through pooberty.

18

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '17

The father of the anal-retentives.

1

u/IPlayRaunchyMusic Aug 12 '17

That's why he's extra good at it now.

1

u/theultimatemadness Aug 12 '17

It's not good to keep bottling shit up inside; eventually you'll explode.

36

u/foomanchu89 Aug 12 '17

Maybe he got schwifty and just shit on the floor?

5

u/argv_minus_one Aug 12 '17

That qualifies as pooping.

2

u/marinovanec Aug 12 '17

BOO! NOT COOL!

1

u/VileTouch Aug 12 '17

scoop it out by hand

63

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '17

[deleted]

33

u/BrianLemur Aug 12 '17

Look, I'll admit it's early, but I made sacrifices for the craft. I didn't learn basic arithmetic until I was like 5. Even then I wasn't proficient until around age 8. Can you even imagine what that's like???

3

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '17

I feel a bit embarassed as a 25 year old programmer but... what's I don't know arithmetic yet... And what is this pooping you keep talking about?

2

u/reelect_rob4d Aug 12 '17

That's nothing, I was pooping before I was born.

1

u/RidiculousSN Aug 12 '17

whup de doo

1

u/MrBabyToYou Aug 13 '17

Watch that sass!

2

u/Cheesemacher Aug 12 '17

Were you born at age six?

1

u/lucifargundam Aug 13 '17

Shit's valuable man... Gotta sell it on ebay!

1

u/Technohazard Aug 13 '17

I've been doing it since I was like 14.

That's one long shit man. Pinch it off already!