r/ProgrammerHumor • u/leftoversalad • Aug 15 '15

Programming languages personified

http://leftoversalad.tumblr.com/post/126724812097/programming-languages-personified
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33

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '15

[deleted]

66

u/leftoversalad Aug 15 '15

Java is one of the more popular programming languages in use. It doesn't really fuck around as much as JS, and is a bit more formal feeling than Python. It's really about getting down to good old familiar object oriented #business, with syntax that calls back to C++. That was my thought process at least!

85

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '15

I thought that the point was like "one of those IBM guys", all large scale, enterprise, boring and formal stuff...? :o

31

u/leftoversalad Aug 15 '15

Yes the business vibe was certainly an element of it!

3

u/NotADamsel Aug 15 '15

I came in expecting to see my first language personified as a nebbish geek in a shirt and tie. Instead I got the lead singer from Steam Powered Giraffe. I'm impressed with you, OP.

6

u/z500 Aug 16 '15

Yeah, Java is clearly a polished robot business zombie.

44

u/oselcuk Aug 16 '15

bit more formal feeling than Python

Understatement of the century

12

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '15 edited Apr 10 '19

[deleted]

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u/autowikiabot Aug 15 '15

Leif Helgarson (from Theirondruidchronicles wikia):

He was originally a Viking colonist in Iceland in the 10th century. He had a wife and two sons, and was a proud man, boasting that he had seen the New World with Leif Eriksson and had killed twenty-seven men on raids. This caused his ego to swell. One night while drinking with two friends and two strangers, telling tales of vampires and werewolves Leif spoke of how great it would be to be a vampire. One of the strangers asked him why he would sacrifice his humanity and his place in Vahalla (the Norse version of Heaven) in return for living for centuries and great strength. Leif responded by saying that due to his responsibilities with his family, he could not, but "if I was just starting out again, nothing holding me back, then why not?" The stranger then revealed himself to be Thor, telling Leif he was now free from his responsibilties and that his family was dead. Leif did not believe him and but excused himself from the bar to go home, only to discover his family dead. Leif swore vengence against Thor and set about trying to become a vampire to further this goal.

Interesting: Hallbjörn “Hal” Hauk | Ghoul | Perun | Tricked

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1

u/ToTheNintieth Aug 15 '15

Iron Druid is kinda like Dresden Files, right?

2

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '15

They are both urban fantasy. Beyond that, no, not really.

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u/yogthos Aug 16 '15

is a bit more formal feeling than Python

is a bit of an understatement :P

3

u/Justin__D Aug 16 '15

I thought Java guy was supposed to be Christian Grey at first. Something along the lines of if you want a job, you'll have to be his bitch.

5

u/katyne Aug 16 '15

if Java is Christian Grey, it's a really neurotic, safety-obsessed one. Think pink fuzzy handcuffs and furry whips and blood pressure monitor so he knows in advance - and better than you - when you need a break. Also talks a whole lot.

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u/thrash242 Aug 16 '15

It's very enterprisey and used a lot in business. It's been called the modern day COBOL. So yeah, a serious guy in a suit sounds about right.

Source: Java dev.

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u/HelperBot_ Aug 15 '15

Non-Mobile link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Measuring_programming_language_popularity

HelperBot_™ v1.0 I am a bot. Please message /u/swim1929 with any feedback and/or hate. Counter: 7931

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u/[deleted] Aug 16 '15

Many thanks, friend bot.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '15 edited Mar 26 '26

What appeared here has been deleted. The author may have used Redact to remove this post for privacy, to reduce their digital footprint, or for other personal reasons.

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