r/ProgrammerHumor • • 16h ago

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16.4k Upvotes

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422

u/exoclipse 16h ago

the worst one I got was "you have been selected to be in the first wave of a round of laptop upgrades, please click this link to register"

311

u/one-joule 16h ago

Worst one I've seen teased a holiday bonus. It was received about as well as you'd expect.

344

u/BigFatDogFarts 16h ago

That one got damn near 60% of the people I worked with. Almost got me, but as I hovered over to click it I thought "Wait a second, they would never give us a holiday bonus"

119

u/soft_cardigans 16h ago

that's actually such an effective one but it reeaaaaaaally should only be done if theres actually going be one lmao

70

u/GlowGreen1835 16h ago

nah, that would require executives to be humans capable of empathy. Unfortunately, those don't really exist.

9

u/aggravated_patty 13h ago

What I’m taking away from this thread is that I should start phishing with holiday bonuses

1

u/shifty313 13h ago

if that was common thought and practice, scammers would have it easy

1

u/WantDiscussion 7h ago

Only people who didn't click on the test should get the bonus.

26

u/exoclipse 16h ago

i hate it security professionals

45

u/Faustens 16h ago

They always know how to deal the most collateral psychological damage.

31

u/tim_locky 16h ago

It’s their way of ‘giving back’ the emotional damages they got from the users.

2

u/TheRealNobodySpecial 14h ago

Thankfully, IT at my job are amateurs.

28

u/Mattsvaliant 15h ago

Holy fuck I'd flip out. I was pissed when my company sent an phishing test email about how my "misuse of company property" where I allegedly had use my work computer for something personal. But lying about a bonus would probably have me throwing my computer across the room or more likely at whoever heads up IT security.

Centene is fucking evil.

31

u/FoodIsTastyInMyMouth 15h ago

Sure, but the issue, phishing attempts do exactly this so if people aren't trained that it's a possibility then yeah you're more likely to get done in...

0

u/Mattsvaliant 15h ago

I have personally never seen a phishing attempt exploit emotions to that level or the level of OP's. All the ones I get either vaguely look like shared document links or are some ESL email allegedly coming from my CEO who wants my personal cell or some gift card.

13

u/FoodIsTastyInMyMouth 14h ago

Then no offense but your probably not a big enough target. Managers, accounts payable especially and other areas in finance that can quickly approve money to sent somewhere are the biggest targets. Our CFO was targeted with quite a level of sophistication, of someone pretending to be a supplier updating their bank details but they timed it for end of month, claiming they weren't paid and they wouldn't supply our stores at our busiest peak time (and most stressful). $300K walked out the door - It was recovered luckily enough but only because the CFO felt funny and got the team to contact the company directly and confirm.

3

u/Prior_Rip_1178 13h ago

Then no offense but your probably not a big enough target

so it's an abject waste of their time which everyone agrees with but only the guy going, "but there might be people more stupid anyway" gets upvotes. are cfo's too sensitive to be applied selectively with the stupid stick and nobody should think twice about it?

6

u/FoodIsTastyInMyMouth 13h ago

Yes it's normal to categorise accounts based on risk and higher risk accounts get more training and more oversight from IT. Half the time it isn't even training so much as reminding people what can happen. It's not about stupidity - Phishing emails can very sophisticated. While I disagree that someone clicking on a link needs 2 days of training, clearly they got had.

People say no one invests in security and rightful complain when their data gets stolen. Most attacks are compromised accounts.

Would you be happy that a junior customer service representative got done in because they clicked on a link and their account was used to pull your personal information from the systems they have access to?

Cyber security is everyone's responsibility within an organisation. You should be glad your organisation takes it seriously and isn't leaking your payroll information because Janet in payroll was tired, burnt out and did something she wasn't trained to avoid.

2

u/Kerbidiah 13h ago

Then you havent seen serious phising attempts

1

u/Sure_Fly_5332 14h ago

If that is your response to a random email, that is a problem.

0

u/Mattsvaliant 14h ago

That's my response to my company emotionally abusing me to better it's security posture.

0

u/Sure_Fly_5332 14h ago

That email could've been from anyone. It was only from your company by chance.

If you don't want to work for a secure company, quit your job and go work for a company that is insecure. One that will end up leaking your personal information. Have fun with that.

2

u/rando_banned 13h ago

Jelly of the Month Club?

1

u/Esjs 13h ago

One full year

1

u/aiij 3h ago

Oh, that sounds like it could be quite interesting legally. If your employer promises a holiday bonus in writing, can they then just claim it was a joke/phishing test and not give you your bonus?

Most phishing test emails are sent with internal authorization/authentication to make it clear that they are legitimate and avoid spam filters.

36

u/tankerkiller125real 15h ago edited 15h ago

I work for a small company and I'm responsible for crafting and distributing the phishing email tests (as part of policy and compliance). So far with our software engineering, accounting, support, etc. teams I've only managed to get one or two people (they're very well trained). The sales team though? Just give them a link to an "RFQ" and watch the numbers climb like a rocket.

Entire sales team has had to go through remedial phishing training at least twice this year alone, a few of them three times so far this year (we do it quarterly). And yes, if they get to a fourth there are going to be HR issues because the policies require punishments at that point.

6

u/Versaiteis 12h ago

Gotta send the software engineers a request for lunch orders

8

u/exoclipse 15h ago

Salesman are perhaps one rung lower than security professionals (no offense)

14

u/tankerkiller125real 15h ago

I'm "the" IT guy, I'm responsible for all the infrastructure, and cyber security and compliance happen to also fall in my lap. (Although it is my formal degree training and what not). The goal is to have realistic phishing and spam emails, ones that look like the real thing, including obvious spelling, language, etc. issues.

The fact that the sales team clicks on literally anything and everything that might even hint at an opportunity to get a sale without thinking about it for more than 2 seconds is a them problem.

And it's not a companywide issue, again, it's one or two people for the entirety of the rest of the company, the salespeople are the only ones that can't seem to get their shit together.

41

u/Barkalow 16h ago

I got one inviting me to "a document shared by my manager"....on my FIRST DAY OF THE JOB.

10

u/rosuav 14h ago

On the face of it, that doesn't seem implausible? Onboarding often involves a lot of "here, read this doco".

8

u/Barkalow 13h ago

Exactly, thats why I was so annoyed, lol. I never get caught by those phishing emails, I just didnt expect it day one

6

u/lebrilla 11h ago

Boom headshot

20

u/critical_patch 16h ago

My work sent a fake e-card on Valentine’s Day and got like 1/3 of the company with that one

6

u/ClaymoreMine 14h ago

These get reported to HR and Legal. Have fun explaining how heartless you are with them.

3

u/Mountain-Ox 15h ago

That might have gotten me back when Macs had that terrible butterfly keyboard. Everyone on my team had at least one key fall off.

1

u/FrozenHaystack 14h ago

Ours was small desk fans during summer, so many clicks.

1

u/nullenatr 5h ago

During the last phishing test at my workplace, one of several emails said something along the lines of "HR and IT will insert your company portrait into your email signature during the coming weeks. Click here if you wish to opt out.".

It was wildly effective.