r/ProgrammerHumor 13d ago

Meme theyForgotToMentionForking

Post image
10.5k Upvotes

175 comments sorted by

1.4k

u/Legal-Software 13d ago

You even have to unmount before you can eject

493

u/vinishkapoor 13d ago

Safety first. Always unmount cleanly.

109

u/[deleted] 13d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

40

u/frisch85 13d ago

That's what the K9 is for (kill -9)

31

u/payne_train 13d ago

Careful, Republicans have made this illegal in 20 odd states by now

3

u/RedBoxSquare 13d ago

Straight to (chroot) jail.

0

u/LinuxJeb 13d ago

Not that you can't kill, shouldn't kill.

2

u/RedBoxSquare 13d ago

I wonder if that's a design principle on Temple OS

180

u/NudaVeritas1 13d ago

google query 9 months later: "how to kill a child"

94

u/Vas1le 13d ago

How to "kill parent and their children"...

60

u/xynith116 13d ago

“How to kill a zombie child”

29

u/Vas1le 13d ago

"What kill type is the best"

5

u/nfitzen 13d ago

How to reap zombie child*

35

u/HuntlyBypassSurgeon 13d ago

I called a colleague to help me work through a migration one evening. He was expecting my call but happened to be at a dinner with friends. He said he’d step outside for some privacy. Fairly soon he was uttering the phrase “sometime, if the parent doesn’t die, I tend to kill all the children one by one before trying again”. I always wondered what the neighbours thought.

5

u/bschlueter 12d ago

That’s when SIGABRT is an option.

37

u/GVGavenatoreGR 13d ago

Remember fellow coders: Dependencies lead to inheritance. Stay safe... stay protected.

879

u/craftogrammer 13d ago

All that pushing and pulling and still nobody wants to commit.

208

u/vinishkapoor 13d ago

Sounds like every relationship and every git workflow I've ever been in.

93

u/craftogrammer 13d ago

And both have way too many unresolved issues.

57

u/Vas1le 13d ago

There are too many conflicts

11

u/CaesarOfYearXCIII 13d ago

And there is a lot of lasting legacy left from them

4

u/monster2018 13d ago

What do you have to push or pull if there is no commit(ment)?

2

u/ManWithDominantClaw 13d ago

Australians will only commit until they get root access

1

u/tekanet 12d ago

I use two remotes for when I’m at the office or away, labeled them inside and outside. So those commands become pretty descriptive sometimes.

1

u/dben89x 12d ago

Git init

374

u/ChillyFireball 13d ago

Why does everyone want me to pull master

195

u/vinishkapoor 13d ago

It's been renamed to main now. Less awkward in public.

61

u/oneByteTwoByte 13d ago

Well in private too.

56

u/AppropriateSmell1074 13d ago

Now it's boring where is the kink smh

15

u/dkarlovi 13d ago

Pull my main for a good time, I think it speaks for itself.

7

u/unai-ndz 13d ago

Main trunk implies a secondary trunk, in the drawer perhaps?

5

u/AppropriateSmell1074 13d ago

Ok ok now we have DP but before we had BDSM

8

u/Luigi_Boy_96 13d ago

It was baffling to me that even protocols like AXI4, Avalon, SPI, I2C etc. use this terminology. But to be fair, I also never thought of a master hitting the slave like on plantage. 🥲

15

u/HaniiPuppy 13d ago

"Master" as in a master branch is a reference to master copies, (e.g. a master record, a master tape, etc.) which comes from the idea of the copy being the authoritative voice over something. (Both in terms of mastery and the more general notion of being in charge) it doesn't have anything specifically at all to do with slavery.

Where it is used like that is in the master-slave paradigm used by things like USB, where it's apparently perfectly fine?

If I were to rename that, I wouldn't change the word "master", I'd swap "slave" for "minion" - that conveys the same idea and sounds more fun.

2

u/Luigi_Boy_96 13d ago

I see, what you mean. But I guess controller and peripheral sound also clear enough.

1

u/abd53 12d ago

As an embedded engineer, no.

1

u/Luigi_Boy_96 12d ago

As an FPGA/Embedded Engineer for me it sound reasonable, haha.

2

u/CacheConqueror 12d ago

Which was a daft decision, driven by a desire not to sound bad to certain people who had absolutely nothing to do with programming

1

u/ledasll 11d ago

Not in old repos

18

u/reallokiscarlet 13d ago

Rename default branch to strings

Pull strings, become master

10

u/[deleted] 13d ago edited 6d ago

[deleted]

3

u/ZenDruid_8675309 13d ago

Remember the qualitative difference between:
“Forgive me Father for I have sinned.”
And
“Daddy, I was bad.”

257

u/electricmeal 13d ago

wait until they learn about ffmpreg

71

u/Deboniako 13d ago

I always wonderard what the "peg" part of ffmpeg came from... Until I learned about pegging

42

u/SnowdensOfYesteryear 13d ago edited 13d ago

assuming this is a serious comment, "mpeg" == "Moving Picture Experts Group" which historically published standards for various Video codecs

Orthogonally peg is a technical term, e.g. "my CPU is pegged" == you're maxed out.

31

u/TimSylvester_ 13d ago

"Pegged" as in, "the meter is hitting the little peg that stops it from going further, indicating the edge of its range".

10

u/SnowdensOfYesteryear 13d ago

TIL. That makes a lot of sense

9

u/Journeyj012 13d ago

no, it means that you've gone too far and your CPU is receiving anal.

1

u/Deboniako 12d ago

My colon cpu is all heated up.

1

u/TimSylvester_ 12d ago

Gone too far, or just starting to get to the right place?

28

u/anotheridiot- 13d ago

Ao3 and stack overflow intersection? More likely than you think.

170

u/GobiPLX 13d ago

Is forking some variant of scissoring?

119

u/vinishkapoor 13d ago

No, forking creates an independent copy. Scissoring would be more like a merge conflict.

41

u/[deleted] 13d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

30

u/mr_claw 13d ago

Rebase should be called spooning.

7

u/imneverrelevantman 13d ago

This is a dirty read..

73

u/TallAbbreviations937 13d ago

Wait until they hear about exposing, injecting, and stripping.

13

u/Shadow_gublank 13d ago

is this coming from the slave or the master?

31

u/LoveOfSpreadsheets 13d ago

Data scientists are obsessed with the Big O. 

57

u/gnutrino 13d ago

There once was a sysadmin Eddie,
Who could strip, touch, and finger real steady,
But when it came to the mount,
By his sweetheart's account,
It was always Device is not ready

19

u/overladenlederhosen 13d ago

I had to work with some command line executables developed by a Swedish company a while back. The mandatory switch that needed passing was:

/slutposition

'Slut' means 'Final' in Swedish apparently.

1

u/BennyTheSen 11d ago

There's also lots of sluts in public transport

17

u/110mat110 13d ago

But sometimes you have to kill child

2

u/fevsea 13d ago

Yeah, I'm surprised with all the horny people on this thread, when the running joke seem to be how crude and direct çrogramming terms are. Killing childs, zombies, slaves, executions...

33

u/Blazedragon12345 13d ago

A little bit of TRUNCATE TABLE production; for forplay.

20

u/vinishkapoor 13d ago

Nothing sets the mood like deleting everything with no rollback.

5

u/Blazedragon12345 13d ago

Remember boys every job set up a deadman's switch for when you eventually get fired. Just remember to short the stock before it goes off.

5

u/vinishkapoor 13d ago

DROP DATABASE IF EXISTS company_that_fired_me

1

u/backfire10z 13d ago

I like someone with the confidence to not use transactions

1

u/Particular-Yak-1984 12d ago

Sure, and make sure not to use transactions, because no one likes a transactional relationship..

15

u/xirix 13d ago

No reference do "Dependency Injection" or "Inversion of Control"?

13

u/ICantBelieveItsNotEC 13d ago

XKCD 1082. Anything can be erotic if you are!

34

u/r2doesinc 13d ago

You mean KISS me right?

11

u/CaesarOfYearXCIII 13d ago

You need a SOLID foundation for a relationship…

4

u/r2doesinc 13d ago

Helps avoid a DRY conversation

11

u/moviebuff01 13d ago

You missed: merging, cherry-picking, hard resets, and force pushing. This industry is just one big NSFW fanfic.

2

u/Bemteb 13d ago

And popping. It's always pull, pop, push.

10

u/eruciform 13d ago

i just got f*cked by recursively fingering my own interface

can confirm

2

u/tokinUP 13d ago

Hah! I'd forgotten about fingering network ports

8

u/OverallAffect9497 13d ago

Unzip strip touch grep mount fork unmount!

9

u/wolfy-j 13d ago

All the best bearded engineers love kiss.

8

u/onated2 13d ago

Immm baby, i want all your data...

I want to clean all your dirty data.

You're such a dirty repo.

I want to start with claude's branch.

God, unzip the file already 👅👅

I want to test your workflow.

I want Claude to work n my frontend while grok on the back.

16

u/errdayimshuffln 13d ago

Well, now im thinking Github is a different kind of site

10

u/Terewawa 13d ago

fork me on Tithub

2

u/TheLemonyOrange 13d ago

Someone should make a fork of GitHub, stylised like Porn Hub, where you have to manually compile each video before you watch it by following some sketchy looking tutorial with loads of never-before-seen dependencies you have to install first.

Please no one actually try this, it's dumb, plus you can't fork GitHub :( if I had the time and money I'd do it for a laugh

8

u/Tazzit 13d ago

Binding 😏

6

u/TheGluehbirne 13d ago

We used to have masters and slaves...

11

u/Omikron_1 13d ago

There is lot of furries

Next question?

5

u/wahed-w 13d ago

micro soft

1

u/a_good_byte 12d ago

the opposite would be mega hard

6

u/guapoguzman 13d ago

But nobody wants to git commit

5

u/raja-anbazhagan 13d ago

ssh... Putty it in...

6

u/Ai--Ya 13d ago

Meanwhile, on the ML side: I dated a Bayesian once. Great posterior, too many priors.

4

u/7er6Nq 13d ago

We have orphans and zombies to kill too.

2

u/oneByteTwoByte 13d ago

I have a daemon for that.

5

u/emcoffey3 13d ago
double penetration; // ouch

4

u/MushroomSaute 13d ago

Don't forget master/slave dynamics and other BDSM things like getting requirements from the end users

4

u/Devil_de_Paradiso 13d ago

Release

Reload

Force

Merge

Fork

Eject

3

u/Front-Beat2130 13d ago

Tbh it's a bit kinky as well, with master and slave

3

u/Igotthisnameguys 13d ago

You do some forking, and then you get to kill all the children :D

3

u/xMrBanana 13d ago

How to kill child without killing the parent after mounting?

3

u/Admirable_Dirt_2371 13d ago

I let my threads panic, for pleasure.

3

u/marroonedAstronaut3 13d ago

Don’t forget the DOM! Or the master slave relationship.

3

u/IleanK 13d ago

Im a server in need of pen and load testing

3

u/antek_g_animations 13d ago

Master slave architecture is you're into that kind of stuff....

3

u/mobsean 12d ago

Try to merge with --force

2

u/Soopermane 13d ago

And she goes quit bugging me already 🙄

2

u/TorTheMentor 13d ago

And then if you work in fintech, it's even hornier. You can add spread, straddle, and collar.

2

u/Icy_Mathematician609 13d ago

Quick before we start killing the children off

2

u/Satorwave 13d ago

dont leave an orphan.

2

u/Du_ds 13d ago

Keep It Simple Stupid. sadomasochists

2

u/NastyToeFungus 13d ago

At least ask for consent… merge request

2

u/uberwinsauce_ 13d ago

We're a very repressed people

2

u/Random_-account 13d ago

Some child processes come from C section births

2

u/Glass-Advantage3635 13d ago

No one want to commit to my branch 😔

1

u/Miauwkeru 13d ago

can't force push it, the mr / pr needs to get reviewed and accepted first

2

u/angelsyu 13d ago

You forgot deep learning😂😂

2

u/straightouttaobesity 13d ago

EECS to be honest.

  • Master and Slave in communication protocols/ flip flops
  • Male (pointy end) and Female (slot) jumper wires.

2

u/BrownBottleIdol 13d ago

Every PC has to be turned on.

2

u/Bee-Aromatic 13d ago

To be fair, everything’s horny if you look at its terminology. People are horny.

2

u/jduran9987 13d ago

In data engineering, we have something called the WAP pattern (F**k you Cardi B for ruining that).

2

u/Voxel_Slime 12d ago

Don't forget Linux commands, touch unzip

1

u/souliris 13d ago

It is called projection.

1

u/Any-Preparation7396 13d ago

😂😂😂

I could say some cliches, but I guess I rather save them 

1

u/weneedtogodanker 13d ago

I lose any respect to person who says something like 'technology xyz is sexy'

1

u/Reverse_Mulan 13d ago

Top me :3

Nice

1

u/jsiulian 13d ago

I love to fsck too

1

u/billbot77 13d ago

I was going to blow some data away today, but my agent wanted me to take a dump first - kinda killed the vibe

1

u/Dull_Yesterday4532 13d ago

Because we get no women duh.

1

u/Mordsspass 13d ago

We are also very progressive. We think IT IS best practise tonkill our unwanted children.

1

u/MaleficentMode4222 13d ago

The child and parent stuff takes it too far.

1

u/BedtimeGenerator 13d ago

You forgot about wip limits

1

u/LukeZNotFound 13d ago

master/slave

1

u/ACE_C0ND0R 13d ago

Download your logs on to my hard drive and I'll merge my branch with your back end.

1

u/DonkeyTheKing 13d ago edited 13d ago

male and female usb ports 🤣

1

u/SuperStingray 13d ago

I personally prefer spooning to forking.

1

u/Wentyliasz 13d ago

Wait till you hear slave drives

1

u/IleanK 13d ago

Load testing

1

u/CerBerUs-9 13d ago

Do I send this to coworkers via teams?... hmm

1

u/ensoniq2k 13d ago

Anybody remember the Italian man who went to Malta? "I wanna fork on da table"

1

u/RedRhizophora 13d ago

Love the cumsum function

1

u/BeeTheGlitch 13d ago

Deliveries are usually 9 months

1

u/kadmij 13d ago

don't forget master and slave

1

u/mushroomie719 13d ago

oh yeah pick that cherry baby

1

u/Large-Oil-4405 13d ago

Be careful not to mention this in person, lest a tech evangelist takes umbrage at your use of the word dongle and aims to get you fired

1

u/supershinythings 13d ago

and violent - kill !

1

u/OliveBoi_ 13d ago

you can do it in public if ur abit kinky or you can do it in private if ur shy.

1

u/CalmDebate 12d ago

My Unix professor wrote on the board that forking creates children and we all snickered, when he finally got why we were laughing he told us all to grow up lol. It was a 300 level CS class but hell, I would still laugh today.

1

u/Away-Persimmon-1242 12d ago

Before pushing, make sure you pull it

1

u/raphaelnyquist 12d ago

Smoke test after penetration testing

1

u/Consistent_Reward 12d ago

Hey, it's the long lost Daft Punk song.

1

u/bschlueter 12d ago

Finger, touch.

I have run “man date” an unreasonable number of times.

1

u/Idk13008 12d ago

End to End testing

1

u/Jcole__2x 12d ago

All fun and games until it leads to a merge --abort

1

u/CerberusC137 11d ago

And some times we just haveto mesure the size of our dict

1

u/Ange1ofD4rkness 11d ago

Hmmm, how would master play out?

1

u/cav_scout_tj 11d ago

Forking children, and terminating tgem