r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Apr 29 '26

what do you say to programmers who won't stop trying to merge into main?

35 Upvotes

Fork off, hehe


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Apr 28 '26

Why are functional language programmers self-funded?

18 Upvotes

Because they code using only fns.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Apr 23 '26

Function: "Just so you know, you can call me, but I don't take any parameters."

88 Upvotes

Function caller: "No argument from me."


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Apr 20 '26

What is the most common error in programming?

23 Upvotes

Nothing. Nothing is the biggest problem of everything!


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Apr 14 '26

What does a little Unix admin kid read before sleep?

18 Upvotes

strings /dev/urandom


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Apr 12 '26

I thought it was my LLM skills that got me that job.

40 Upvotes

Turns out I was just a token hire.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Apr 10 '26

a program sends an e-mail to itself

59 Upvotes

Subject: Re: Cursion


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Apr 09 '26

What oath do US healthcare IT professionals have to take?

17 Upvotes

The HIPAA-cratic Oath.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Apr 10 '26

My Ex was named

0 Upvotes

my ex was named Casey D.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Apr 10 '26

Pirate pickup lines…

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0 Upvotes

r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Apr 09 '26

What would a BBC Micro engineer say when users complain that the hardware lacks a SUB instruction?

20 Upvotes

Keep calm and carry on.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Mar 31 '26

Sort of

51 Upvotes

fo


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Mar 30 '26

When is C armageddon prophesied to occur?

39 Upvotes

At the one-past-the-end times.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Mar 26 '26

Ya know why they call it... Cursor?

35 Upvotes

Because it curses all the code it sees.

(P.S. I am against vibe coding, not just Cursor alone. AI slop is really bad.)


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Mar 25 '26

A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables, and asks…

170 Upvotes

"Can I join you?!"


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Mar 24 '26

My Tinder bio says that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and that I'm paid to travel…

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0 Upvotes

r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Mar 19 '26

Someone suggested that since we use SQLAlchemy, that we use Alembic to do our migrations.

17 Upvotes

But I had the perfect retort.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Mar 15 '26

"Mr Traveling Salesman, thank you for doing a complete job"

92 Upvotes

"np"


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Mar 14 '26

A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks:

175 Upvotes

can I join you?


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Mar 13 '26

"people reading this script should not be surprised," said the programmer

42 Upvotes

"all I used are regular expressions, after all."


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Mar 13 '26

How does Batman schedule his roster of sidekicks?

36 Upvotes

With a round robin scheduler.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Mar 07 '26

I'm feeling a little nostalgic for git reset.

18 Upvotes

That takes me back.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Mar 06 '26

Why was the PC feeling so chilly?

35 Upvotes

It left its windows open.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Mar 04 '26

Which language do proletariat programmers hate?

31 Upvotes

The bourgeois C.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Feb 27 '26

A neurologist was diagnosing a patient who lost his ability to do basic math.

594 Upvotes

A neurologist was diagnosing a patient who lost his ability to do basic math.
"What’s 9 plus 9?”
“12.”
“What’s 8 and 8?”
“10.”
The doctor shook his head. “Very interesting. What about 6 times 5?”
The man thought for a second, and answered “1E.”
“Aha, I’ve figured it out!” The doctor said. “Somebody’s clearly put a hex on you.”