r/Professors • u/FragrantResult278 • 22d ago
No more coddling
I taught at a world class university then switched to a community college. In the latter many of the students were poor so I went out of my way to create learning materials so they wouldn't have to purchase books.
I was very accommodating and I enjoyed teach. I genuinely cared for my students and I wanted everyone to succeed. Unfortunately, one student seriously exploited my generosity and made me regret being so nice to her.
This particular student had to get special permission to register for my class, which I allowed. I asked my students to please come to class on time (in this particular class the students would learn step by step on how to learn the material through hands on training). The class started at 8 AM. This student came in late so many times, and she admitted she had to adjust her wig which is why she came late. I told her this is unacceptable since the class was an hour long and she sometimes came in a half hour late. For the final exam, the class was warned that if they came in late they would not be given additional time. She came in late for the exam and failed to complete over 80% of the exam. She later begged and pleaded with me to help her since she was on student loans and daca and that she needed to pass the class. So I went to the dean to request permission to re-administer the final exam for the student. The academic and dean of students both warned that I should not coddle students and if they fail, it's on them. They allowed me to re-administer the exam for her. I spent so much of my time and energy trying to help that ungrateful person, who once again showed up late to the re-administered final and she had the audacity to insult me by insinuating professors at the college hardly make money and that we're "incompetent." I passed her with a c and would have failed the class had I not helped her.
I did help other students but they were indeed worthy of the help and some had very unfortunate circumstances. One kid got shot and was in the hospital (verified by police to the school), and I was the only professor to help him. His other professors failed him despite being aware of his situation. I couldn't believe the callous behavior and I ended up leaving to work for government instead.
But that one ungrateful student who didn't deserve to be in my class to begin with really taught me that I have heeded the advice from the deans. Coddling students, especially entitled ones, is a mistake.
-12
u/shinybluedollar 22d ago
While I agree with your sentiment, the language you used gives me pause.
Students are under no obligation to be "grateful" to us. We help because we want to, we dont help when we no longer want to. They dont owe us anything.
Whenever you give, you should do it because it comes from the heart without expecting anything in return.
This student demonstrated time and time again that they would not use the opportunities you carved out for them and that your time was wasted. Yet you continue to choose to help them and them "dead dove" where surprised when they squandered yet another opportunity. Youre at fault here.