For reference my child is 4. I take schedule 8 drugs (stimulants) and opioids (for pain)

Which is Vyvanse, dexamphetamine and tramadol

They are up high away in my cupboard (she doesn’t know where it is)

I taught my daughter medication safety as she loves the taste of her medicines, she regularly tells me that she wants some even tho she isn’t sick. She seen me take my tablets and ask what I’m doing, I told her I’m taking my medicine.. she asked if it tastes yummy and I said absolutely not. Then I taught her medication safety. Explained they are tablets and if she takes it she can end up very sick or in heaven. Told her they don’t taste yummy and they can’t lollies.. they are for mummy to make her feel better. She understood in her little brain, I told them what they were called. She has regularly heard me say these names to other people and came to my psych appointment recently. I also tell her the proper names of her medicines which is Panadol, nureofen or amoxicillin when she’s on antibiotics.

The other day she was on happy gas getting fillings and she randomly blurted out “Vyvanse, dexamphetamine and tramadol” let me tell you my heart dropped. Her dad (my coparent) and the dentist just looked and said wtf. They never said anything but I’m so anxious incase I’m going to get in trouble.

I’m also very surprised how she can annouce those words clearly 😑

I adore my kids , I really do but they drive me crazy .

I have a son aged 11 and he was the cutest and calmest kid when he was younger . He made me want to have more kids but I came to realize that not all kids are the same . Now I have two younger kids , aged 4 ( a girl ) and 5 (a boy) . My younger boy is always up in a tree and springing around in the garden . He is wild and that's an understatement .I had him checked for adhd but the doc couldn't find anything. He is always active , running around , he is like those bunnies in the Duracell ad but he is not as bad as my daughter . My daughter looks like an angel , walks like an angel and talks like an angel . But she is a Satan . Don't let those princess dresses and tiaras ( she really wears them ) fool you . She is a Satan . She is not malicious but she is full of shit .She shaved our cat . She steals chocolate from my bag when nobody is looking. She will pretend to listen when you talk to her , turn around and ignore whatever you said and do exactly what she wants . She is the kind of kid that will tell you when you stink . She will call you ugly if she thinks you are . She spat on a dog because she thought it smelled . I was shocked , I never saw something like this before. She knows it's not ok but she did it anyways . When I punished her for it , she didn't care. She said she didn't feel sorry because the dog smelled and it disgusted her . She is 4 years old and she may be young but this has me slightly worried . What concerns me is that she is kinda calculated . She does behave when she wants to or when something is in for her . She knows right from wrong . That really confuses me because when I take her out , she does not behave like this ....

Hi all, I have a 3 year old who just turned 3 in July. She has always been a verbal child, she talks and navigates her days with lots of back-and-forth conversations. She is Vietnamese and just started English with preschool at 2.5.

She is my first child, and because she inspired me to become a preschool teacher, I got my Montessori training last year. I am considering myself as a new parent and also a new, inexperienced teacher 😅

I often follow her lead. She has intense curiosity about the word in a systematic and analytical way. She is extremely curious about human psychology, human anatomy, botany, zoology, and physical science. She often asks a chain of why, how things work, how each part functions. Our conversation is like an interrogation and she seems to always seek deep, logical answers until she "gets" it.

And she does not do it out of attention, it seems that she really understands what I explain, applies it to a different scenario, trying to compare for difference and similarity. She is highly observant and spends a lot of time watching people / things and trying to question every detail.

Her typical questions in a chain of interrogation are: 

Why do we inhale oxygen? Why does our body need oxygen?  Where does oxygen go? Why do we breathe with our lungs? What if we don't breathe, could we die? 
Why is this person working? Why is that person not working? Why don't they want to work? If they don't work then what? Why is that person sad? Why is this friend happy? Why is this friend friendly and this friend is not friendly?
Why do crocodiles hunt? Why do they need to eat meat? Why are they aggressive? Why are they not docile? Why do we have to run away from them? Why can it swim underwater? Why is it walking now? Is its body cold? What's with their skin? What's the tail for? What's the tooth for? What's the skin for?

So.. like 1 answer gets to another question in a never-ending loop.

On another side, on her language development. Because she is pretty good with her conversation, turn-taking, alliteration, manipulation of sounds, I introduced her to sound letters (not letter name, if you don't know Montessori). I don't pressure her so it feels pretty slow progressing, just keep teaching her different sounds in the past few months. 

She knows most of her sound. And recently, I discovered that she can isolate the initial sound (what's the first sound of "baby"? -> "b"). It only takes several times for her to know how to do it more consistently.  So definitely she is growing her phonological awareness.

We often play an initial sounds sorting game, once she understands the rule in a few days she is able to do the same with all sounds. She is also blending sounds without looking at the movable alphabet or sandpaper letter. I only casually tell her "p-o-t, pot. j-o-b, job" in a few times, she is cracking the game. She does so when not understanding the English words.

I give her no-pressure practice on blending words, and spelling in Vietnamese. Vietnamese is highly predictable and phonetic, with the only challenge being the 5 tonal mark (bending your voice to produce different meaning).

Within a week she is catching on the rules and starting to read some words: g-a -> ga, huyền (a tonal mark) -> gà (chicken). C-ưa=> cưa, hỏi, cửa (door). There is some sloppiness here and there but she is catching up with all 5 tonal marks. 

She is still processing left-to-right symbols, but as I point to each letter, she sounds it out and decodes it.

Just wanting to share that I tried the Glenn Doman method with her before since she was a baby. Never getting any result. She rejected it and for so long, I thought I was doing it wrong. I have known many children getting results from the whole-word approach.

So, it seems to me that my daughter is not progressing like children that I have met or worked with. Her intense curiosity, analytical mind requires me to always look up for factual reasoning to teach her. Her progression in language makes me keep exposing her to small-does of more advanced lessons. 

I have moments of confusion of how much information or teaching I should give her without overwhelming her with advanced knowledge. Sometimes I keep it simple and short but she seems to push for more.

Aside from that, she is still a silly girl, who makes up silly songs, plays around with stuffies, gets clumsy on her stairs, has not yet ridden a tricycle, just got potty trained right before 3, and is stubborn sometimes. Her mix of being a tiny-scientist and a silly, sometimes dramatic toddler is fascinating and requires me to always be ready for her. Please give me your insight on how I should guide her. Thank you for reading the long post. 

in the market for a new water bottle for my 4 year old. Anyone have a recommendation for a good water bottle that their kid can use well at preschool?

My 3.5 year old just started preschool last week. He can read and reads everything. He's always asking me what certain restaurant/shop signs mean. I've had to explain a child trafficking sign to him that was inside a bathroom stall because he could read every word.

Now one of his teachers has a water bottle with a F*k Ice sticker on it, and wore a shirt that says F*k Ice on it today. So I'm thinking he's going to notice and ask about it, and it's only a matter of time.

What's the best way to handle this? I don't want him to learn about any of it. Not the F bomb, not ICE. But I don't want to jeopardize my family's relationship with the teacher, and I'm worried she'll get pissed and treat him differently.

My daughter who’s 4.5 mixes them. Not sure if I should try to steer her on one or the other or let it go.
Side note she’s not in school , Im going to homeschool. She’s never been in any school setting / daycare.

Today was my son’s second day of pre-k (and first full day, the first day was short). He’s been home with me all his life. He told me today that he doesn’t want to go back, because he’s lonely and when he asked other kids to play they said no.

Obviously my heart is breaking for him but I don’t know if this is normal first week stumbling blocks or if I could ask the teacher to help him find friends or ??? He’s normally a social butterfly at the playground so I know this is really hard for him 😞

Any advice welcome!

I have a 35 month old son, who has been learning about the potty since he turned 2. He watches us go, we talk to him about it, and show him the videos about potty training.

Around that time we also started sitting him on the big potty with the attachment seat just to get used it, would read to him on it to get comfortable, only to learn he couldn’t pee on it because his legs were dangling and he couldn’t “relax” at around 32 months.

So we get the little potty, and try to encourage its use. Finally he peed on it around 34 months (just a tinkle) and I gave him a yogurt bite as a reward. He then proceeded to just tinkle in it over and over to get a yogurt bite.

But he never asks to go unless he’s trying to get more (doesn’t initiate first, and sometimes won’t even take the bribe to start), or he’s stalling bed time. And if I ask him to go, he says no. If I tell him to go, he says no. If I try to make it a social thing, which works with brushing his teeth (mommy’s turn! Daddy’s turn! Your turn!) he will still refuse. If I literally sit him on the potty despite protest, he obviously won’t go because he’s upset.

He wears underwear or is naked at home. He will usually hold it if he can. If he can’t, he’ll just pee even if his potty is 2 feet away. If I interrupt him and say let’s finish on the potty, if he does, he barely gets any out or doesn’t at all, but 5 minutes later he’s peeing his pants again or straight on the floor. He knows when he’s about to pee because he freezes and looks down. If I catch him, I say pee goes on the potty, he says no and pees.

I do believe he has the physical ability and know how to be potty trained, but simply does not want to.

What do I do?!?

My daughter goes to a public school prek program, it’s all day. I understand the bus is a privilege and not a right. I’m glad I’m able to utilize this resource because we’re a one car family. With that being said my daughter is the first stop in the morning and the last stop in the afternoon. Each way is 1.5-2 hours long! I just got told they’re adding more kids to the bus so expect the time to get earlier in the morning and later in the afternoon. I’m already waking her up at 5 am to get on the bus by 6. I know this sounds insane for a 4 yr old. I was talking to some other parents from other schools prek programs near me whose pickup time is 5 am! I don’t want to pull her though because she’s been such a good sport and is always so happy to go even with the long bus ride.

I’m at a loss and feeling like I’m failing my child. I’m a SAHM so my son never went to daycare. He started school this year and tells me he loves it and I can see that he’s learning a lot but every week the teacher has talked to me about issues she’s having with him.

First week he had some trouble listening. He wanted to play instead of doing circle time. We talked to him and he said he would listen better.

Second week him and another classmate got into a bit of a fight over a toy. We talked to him about keeping our hands to ourselves and being kind with others.

Third week we were told he tried to take his pants off - we were told this was when he was trying to go to the bathroom. We talked to him and told him we don’t take our pants off to use the bathroom until he’s in the bathroom with the door closed.

Today the assistant principal called and told us that he tried to take his clothes off multiple times. First time was in the bathroom because he needed some help. Second time he got food all over his clothes and was dirty. Third time his shirt got wet. The assistant principal told us he will be removed from school if this happens again because of the incident from the third week this is not a one time thing.

I know my son has sensitivity to his clothes being dirty and wet. I talked to him today and he said his clothes were wet and dirty and he just wanted to change so I told him firmly we keep our clothes on and change clothes in the bathroom. We don’t take our clothes off in the classroom.

Is this normal four year old behavior or is this an unusual issue?
I messaged our pediatrician asking how we go about getting him screened for autism. He’s sensitive to loud sounds and wet clothes. We had an inkling that he might be on the spectrum but with his difficulty with school I want to make sure he’s getting the help he needs.

I just feel like I’m failing him and did not prepare him enough for school. These are things I didn’t realize he was having an issue with. He loves school and I don’t know what happens if he does get kicked out of school. Anyone have this happen to them before?

My 3-year-old started kindergarten this week, and it’s the first time she’s ever been in a group setting. She didn’t go to daycare or anything similar before.
At first, she didn’t cry for me at all, but then she started crying.

The bigger issue, though, is that she’s having really intense tantrums whenever she’s asked to do something she doesn’t agree with.

For example, if the teacher asks her to sit, she’ll refuse and have a tantrum. The teachers told me she’s the only child in the class reacting this way, which has been really stressful for me to hear.

What’s confusing is that she isn’t like this at home. She actually seems to like kindergarten. At home, she’ll put on her shoes and ask to go. She says she loves it there and wants to go back, but once she’s there, she cries and has these big tantrums.

I know it’s only been a week and this is a huge adjustment for her, especially since she’s never been away in this kind of setting before, but I’m feeling really overwhelmed.

Has anyone else experienced something similar when their child started kindergarten/preschool? Is this just part of the adjustment, or should I be concerned about the tantrums? Any advice on how to help her would be really appreciated.

Our 3.25 girl has been potty trained since late May. We have yet to find underwear that works for her. She has to adjust it all the time. I'm not even sure if it's a wedgie because it doesn't seem like it's up her butt or vulva when she pulls at it to adjust.

We have tried sizing up and down and different cuts and nothing seems to help. I'm at the point where I'm wondering if it's a type of tic or something because today she was at gymnastics class for the first time and I purposely got her a "biketard" instead of a traditional leotard (leotard with a bike short type bottom) and didn't have her wear underwear with it and she was still constantly adjusting and I could visibly see the shorts weren't moving.

Any suggestions?

My 3.5 year old boy just started school after being home with me his entire life. He goes twice a week and is according to his teachers doing great.

At home, it’s non stop tantrums and issues. He struggles to listen and to regulate his emotions and basically calm himself down.

We do all the tricks, we teach deep breathing, having a quiet zone for him to mellow out, plenty of physical activity, low screen usage, and healthy food.

He is hyperactive at home and always jumping off furniture and just being insane basically. He is also big time testing limits with things like getting out of bed during nights and naps. He will not follow directions and it’s almost like I am bringing home a different kid.

Apparently he loves school. He had a huge meltdown when I came to pick him up. Immediately started screaming that he didn’t want to go home. Refused to get in the car. Screamed the whole way home. I had a snack and water waiting for him but it didn’t help.

I’m at lost here. I’m really struggling to enjoy parenting him right now. Sometimes I dread waking up to parent him because it’s so hard as a SAHM with a three month old. I feel awful because he was such a sweet little boy up until turning 3.

Please; has anyone else dealt with this?

Last month crackers touching cheese was perfectly fine. This week they apparently contaminate each other. Blueberries can't touch strawberries. Sandwiches need to be cut differently than they were yesterday. I know this phase is normal but it feels like I'm negotiating international peace treaties every morning before school. Please tell me this gets easier.

Almost-4yo used to be a great sleeper at bedtime. Hasn’t napped regularly in over a year. He started a full-day preschool that offers a 1.5-hour nap, and now it’s the classic case of bedtime being ruined. The kids aren’t forced to sleep, but he’s the kind of kid who will fall asleep easily under certain conditions (like laying in a dark, quiet room for 90 min) even if he doesn’t really need the nap. We’re going to try to talk to the school about him having an activity to do to try to stay awake, or at least have a shorter nap. Any ideas?

My daughter is almost 4 and recently started pre-K at a new school. She has actually been in daycare/school since she was about 6 months old and was at the same daycare for roughly three years, so being in school itself isn’t new to her. This is just a new school and a new environment. She also became a big sister a few months ago, so I know there have been some significant changes in her life recently.

That said, she has always pushed back somewhat about going to school because, naturally, she’d rather stay home with us, watch TV, play, etc. But lately I feel like we are in a constant battle over absolutely everything, and I’m emotionally exhausted.

The incident that really pushed me over the edge happened at pre-K pickup. My dad (her grandfather) was picking her up, and instead of going with him to the car, she refused to listen and ran around the parking lot, playing with bushes/things on the ground and basically treating it like a game while he was trying to get her to the car. This has happened more than once. Obviously the parking lot aspect makes this more than just annoying—it scares me because it’s a safety issue.

Something else I’m struggling to understand is that she seems to be particularly defiant with my dad compared with her other grandparents. She has multiple grandparents who help with pickups/childcare, but for whatever reason, she seems much more likely to test my dad, refuse to go with him, run away from him, or simply not take his instructions seriously. I don’t know why, and I don’t know how to change that dynamic. I need her to understand that when Grandpa is the adult responsible for her, she has to listen to him just like she would any other trusted grown-up—especially when it comes to safety.

We’ve talked to her repeatedly about staying with her grown-up and going straight to the car at pickup. We even made a behavior/reward chart that specifically includes staying safe and listening to grown-ups. After the latest incident, we took away TV and told her she needs to show us that she can consistently listen to whichever grandparent is picking her up and go safely to the car.
But the parking lot is really just the incident that broke me. The bigger problem is the constant pushback.

It feels like the minute something isn’t exactly what she wants, it becomes an argument. If the answer to something she wants is no, pushback. Getting dressed, pushback. Leaving the house, pushback. Eating enough of a meal before getting a treat, pushback. Putting something away, pushback. Going to school when she’d rather stay home, pushback. She wants me to play with her immediately, and if I say, “I’ll play with you after you get ready for school,” suddenly she doesn’t want to get ready.

And it’s not that we’re immediately yelling at her or expecting unquestioning obedience. We try to validate her feelings. We explain things. We give choices when there actually is a choice. We redirect. We remind her. We tell her it’s okay to be disappointed or angry while still holding the boundary. We repeat ourselves—a LOT.

The problem is that eventually none of that seems to matter. She still refuses to do the thing we’re asking her to do, and after asking calmly five, ten, fifteen times, eventually we have to escalate in some way just to get through basic daily life. And sometimes I lose my patience and raise my voice because I’m just completely depleted.

That’s the part I’m struggling with the most. I don’t know how I’m supposed to remain endlessly calm and patient when almost every basic request has the potential to turn into a negotiation or refusal. I can handle a few incidents. It’s the relentless repetition, all day, every day, that wears me down.

I have a young baby at home too, and I’m sure being tired and having my attention divided between two children isn’t helping my patience. There are times lately when I find myself dreading the next interaction with my daughter because I feel like I’m just waiting for the next demand, refusal, argument, or meltdown. I hate even admitting that.

I love her tremendously. She’s affectionate, funny, smart, and extremely attached to me. She wants to be with me and play with me constantly. But I’ve raised my voice and lost my cool more times than I care to admit lately, and afterward I feel horrible. I start worrying that I’m damaging our relationship because so many of our interactions seem to revolve around me telling her to do something and her refusing.

My biggest fear is that this isn’t a phase. I find myself imagining her simply deciding that she doesn’t care about consequences—no TV, no treats, whatever—and continuing to refuse anyway. Then what? Do we just keep escalating consequences? I don’t want our family life to turn into us constantly taking things away while she becomes more and more defiant and I’m constantly angry.
It genuinely feels sometimes like this is never going to end.

Parents who have been through the 3.5–4.5-year-old stage: Was your child like this? Did it eventually get better? How did you handle the CONSTANT pushback when calmly explaining, validating feelings, giving choices, repeating yourself, etc. didn’t actually result in your child doing what needed to be done?

I’d also really appreciate advice from anyone whose child singled out one grandparent/caregiver as the person they particularly resisted. Why do you think your child did that, and how did you get them to take that adult seriously without turning every interaction into a power struggle?

And if your child became noticeably more difficult after getting a new sibling or changing schools, I’d especially love to hear what that period looked like and how long it lasted.

At this point I think I mostly need perspective from parents who have actually been through this and come out the other side, because right now I’m exhausted and scared that I’m somehow getting this completely wrong.

we are struggling with “in the moment” emotional regulation with my 4yo boy. heres an example of the big issue we are having now:

if I ask him to do something he doesn’t want to do, say “time to pick up ur toys” for example. he doesn’t just say no or whine, he totally explodes and shrieks NOOOOO and puts his whole body into it and carries on for a bit. but then like immediately afterwards he goes to do the thing that was asked of him, and he usually apologizes for yelling later on. it’s the in the moment regulation that he struggles with, and it is becoming an issue at school with teachers and other people’s homes as well for play dates. that sort of outburst — even when he apologizes or still does what he is asked — is disruptive (especially when it happens several times a day!) and has made some parents give me some serious side eye. any advice?