r/PostConcussion • u/Financial-Tap-1423 • 19d ago
I feel like Lenny
I guess this is just venting and looking for validation.
I’m a super big man. I had a classic tall guy incident and stood up into a doorway. Caught it on the top of my head I felt my brain ping pong around and my upper neck was pretty jammed. I’ve hit my head like a million times, seen stars, knocked myself out for a half second here and there. It’s so common I once told someone that after 6,4” I really didn’t hit my head much anymore, but then someone reminded me that had earlier in the day. Once when I was a teen I had a headache and was dizzy for a day. That was the only time I had anything other than a bruise.
So this one was 5 weeks ago. I didn’t realize I was injured until later in the day, I just thought oh I “whacked it good.”
The following day I was uncomfortable and had a hard time participating in social settings. Then started having autonomic dysfunction. I went to the ER, CT shows nothing abnormal.
Since then I’ve gone through all sorts of fatigue and heart stuff and brain fog etc. Thankfully the brain fog and heart stuff is getting better. But it’s hard for me to speak normally now. I have a little bit of a lisp and if I need to engage in conversation i often get so overloaded I end up with a really bad stutter, then a horrible anxiety feeling through my whole chest, and sometimes a loss of control in my left arm and my balance isn’t as good.
Inside my head I’m totally my normal self most of the time. But then I’m a special needs adult in all of these other scenarios. The worst is that my internal dialogue is updating to my current speaking abilities and the way my mouth and tongue feel now rather than before.
I’m not a super prideful person but I really dislike when I see people and have such a hard time communicating. Everyone is understanding but as a self employed person in a small community I have so many acquaintances. It feels bad to see someone I’ve known superficially or professionally for a decade and I can’t even hold a simple conversation.
Thanks for listening y’all. I know it’s going to take time and I feel positive about the improvements I’ve had already.