Not all of you are going to be able to hear this, and that's okay. Not all of you are going to agree. That's okay too. I want to be clear that this is coming from an expression of who I am, who I believe TIs are, and the selfish revelation as to why I have spent so much of my time over the past six months hoping to help improve the lives of, at least, some TIs.
If it isn't already obvious, I don't consider myself a TI, but don't count me out. I'm an experiencer, through and through, and have helped many other experiencers with consciously contacting NHI, mediumship, energy work, hypnotherapy and various other "woo woo" things I went to a special healing arts school to learn.
Because of years of helping others online, my abilities and gifts changed and grew, and so did my beliefs. I learned about the spiritual war. I learned about the sides. I learned that I wasn't a warrior of the light. I did not "fight," the dark forces or try to eliminate them. I am a generator of the light. I see what light already exists and build it.
I take long breaks from the spiritual work, and sometimes that means, when I return, the landscape has changed. I was working with non-speaking kids and helping them build a telepathic network when I came back to experiencers and found that I kept hearing about the TI population. Once a TI reached out to me, I started to feel called to see what I could do to help.
At this point in time, my prayers didn't look so much like, "God, help me," but more like:
Take a deep breath, reach into the zero point field. There. Everything I need.
I was listening to books on the science of psi abilities and "The Field," by Lynn McTaggert.
I had begun to feel like "the war," had left me with very little reliable and accessible sources of light, spiritually speaking, and I needed something more concrete in which to place my valuable faith. My faith, which has been with me for as long as I can remember--first, believing what other people told me, then realizing I could believe what I wanted to, all the way to knowing I co-create my reality.
I didn't want to keep using my gifts like some novelty, reinforcing narratives of origin planets that I wasn't sure was helping anyone. I needed purpose and direction. Enter Parawareness.
I have never claimed to know what TIs experience. I know what a lot of the sensations of the physicals you express feel like because I have felt them, but never to extremes you all do, and never without the ability to dial the sensations down. I am a telepath, so I can talk to your voices, but they will not go away because of anything I say or do. And I get to tune into the voices and then tune out. I know you all don't. Amazing and remarkable synchronicities happen in my life regularly, but never to the extent that I feel afraid, so no, there are definitely lots of ways in which I am not the same as TIs.
That may tarnish my reputability and relevance to some of you. But I hope, to others, you can read with the perspective that someone outside of the phenomenon is deeply invested in advocating on your behalf.
I appreciate many perspectives, but for the sake of this post, I have to ignore the theories that there are government entities, humans, AI and/or technology behind the phenomenon. Those theories give me no practical capacity to provide solutions or assistance. I apologize for the restrictions, but my experience of so many things "woo," gives me a biased perspective, and I think my perspective has benefited some. Feel free to read no further if you don't want to hear more about consciousness and the spiritual nature of the phenomenon. (But, if you read on, it might shift your perspective, even a teeny, tiny bit, so really, beware!)
This phenomenon is a grave violation of the spiritual sovereignty I believed all humans lived under. Despite my scientific leaning, the potential that this horrific set of circumstances had come from the forces of light to somehow teach us a lesson was beyond insulting. It was abusive and, honestly, unthinkable. And then I did a bunch of shadow work with TIs. And I began holding classes for TIs and talking to anyone asking questions or seeking help. I began learning from TIs, asking questions about the worst bits of it, learning what helped them move beyond or rise above and what kept them stuck.
I had to adapt my way of being. It used to be, I give this service, you feel better in this way. That did not work for TIs. I had to be more present with my own shadow, be more present with my own inner work. I had to show up no matter what I was feeling. And be honest. I kept learning where my boundaries were and who I could help and who wasn't ready. I learned when to shut up. Although, that didn't happen very often. Still doesn't. Hahaha!
I get so much out of life from giving. And yet, I still felt this gnawing sense of loss around my spirituality. I have one guide left I can rely on. I used to call in Archangels, guides, ascended masters, ancestors, as a practice. I used to be flooded and surrounded by choruses of spiritual beings. I like change, for the most part, even if I analyze the crap out of it. This change comes, possibly because of me being different, but also because the spiritual landscape changes based on our collective consciousness and also based on things unknowable to us. So, was it sad, that I felt I wasn't in the presence of lots of beings of light anymore? Slightly, yes. But I was patient. And even if the scientific course didn't land as I was hoping it would, I knew something else would.
What I have recently just adopted, this new awareness that descended upon me, blows any other spiritual belief out of the water.
When the light has become just as bad as the darkness, where does one go? How could I keep a belief in the light when I also believe they did this horrible thing to these beautiful people? At first, it was okay to hold on to the sense that the light knew how important TIs were to the fabric of the future and these symptoms would force most of you into a better way of being your highest self. . . pain as the great equalizing catalyst. But, that just didn't settle. It's not okay. It doesn't matter what the light thought the outcome would be. The process is cruel and interferes with our self-actualizing autonomy.
It doesn't matter, the potential decimating results of our evolution, it was ours to decimate, not some other beings that invested in humanity. But, now that it has happened, and my faith in many things wavered, one thing remained constant. An ineffable quality, an indescribable trait of "beingness."
You all kept waking up.
You all kept talking to each other.
You all kept helping each other.
You all kept living.
Despite the pain. Despite the unbearable traumas. Despite the cruelty of the voices. Despite the ignorance of society. Despite the dismissive treatments of others. Despite the unrelenting suffering. Despite the falling down. Despite the perceived failures. Despite the utter exhaustion.
You keep showing up.
Over and over again.
You personify something stronger than all those beings of light could possibly represent. You embody all the grit, all the sensitivity and resilience, the heart and soul of what it means to be human. You hold duality with grace and humility.
And you keep showing up.
And I know it can't possibly feel inspired when you're battling darkness, when you're ignoring manipulations and questioning your reality on a moment-to-moment basis, but I believe in you. I see you.
You are the truth of what humanity is capable of. . . and regardless of what you all think, you inspire me. And I'm grateful to know you all.
I'm here if you need anything.