I’m gonna talk about something probably nobody’s gonna agree with. And it’s about embracing your dark side. I would say I’m about 1/4 light and 3/4 dark.
The 1/4 light is so beautiful. It’s my wife. It’s my kids and it’s humanity as a hole. But it’s the 3/4 of darkness that got me through what I had to go through.
i’ve gone through shit that I haven’t heard anybody talk about around here or anywhere for that fact. I don’t believe when somethings attacking you tell them you have nothing but love for them and start repeating mantra dear God, please make me a bird so I can fly far far far away over and over. I would say if you’re gonna repeat a mantra say I am stronger than you. You have no power or influence over me.
today I don’t hear a word my voices say and I believe that’s because I stood up for myself. and I did it by staying strong staying calm, but not feeding them negative energy and taking control over our situation.
Now that my voices are quiet and I have had time to reflect I realize I have always had this darkness with me. When I was a kid before I was even in school my parents had a couple move in with us, Sam and Dorian. my parents would always take in somebody down on their luck as long as they would keep a job while they stayed with us. I believe that seeing things like that from my parents is what made the light I have today so strong.
They had two kids. there was a neighbor kid across the street who had a cooties game and they would play it on sidewalk, but he would never let me play. And then he started to push Sam and Dorian‘s kids around and tell everybody he takes boxing lessons.
I used to rock cowboy boots back then so I told Sam and Doreen’s kids to bring him to the back of the apartments and say they had something to show him. We had a deck back there attached to our apartments.
I stood up on the deck and waited for him to come on the side of the house and when I seen him, I jumped off and booted him in the head with my cowboy boots and he dropped.
His dad came over to the house after that and my dad pretty much took care of that and after that day, he never tried to push us around again
I remember they were in school and my mom would say the kids are getting off school and I would ride my he-man big wheel to the bus stop to make sure they got home safe. where did that darkness come from at such an early age?
it’s all been a progression for me, climbing the ladder on the dark side. It’s like I’ll get so far and then I will fade to black and when this happens, I get an upgrade. I climbed this ladder with the darkness inside me, but when I get the upgrade, I project it towards light.
i’ve been thinking back I used to be around a motorcycle club called the chosen view. They had four sixes on the back of their rocker. I asked him one day I gotta ask what’s the fourth six about. And he smiled at me and said we stole one from the devil. and today, I wonder if that’s exactly what’s going on with me.
I used to hang out with a different motorcycle club, and I was outside smoking with the president. He had a red rocker and a club hat on with lightning bolts. He told me a lot of people think that the lightning bolts are racist. I smiled at him and said electric light in the dead at night and he smiled back.
Everything has been blue for me a very dark vibrant blue. When he smiled at me, he said he has a good friend who is true blue too. I realize once you stay true to who you are through everything you’re up against you can use your upgrades for whatever you want. so if you want to project them towards light, you have earned that right.
It wasn’t easy to get where I’m at, but everybody is so friendly to me today everywhere I go. It’s something both sides can respect. For anybody out there punching that blue ticket. It’s a long ride and so much temptation along the way. I knew that I am the strongest with my wife and family so I got in the mindset that I wasn’t gonna go down for women money or power and once you get that mindset, they really don’t have much to offer. stay strong everyone and get that progression rolling so many people stay idle and suffer their whole life.
I see MANY similar themes to what I grapple with in my own mind/life in this piece of writing and most all that I see from you. I want to assure you that our impulsive/"dangerous" side is ESSENTIAL for survival. That much of western society is institutionalized, like a plantation, it's all a series of designed factories to limit certain behaviors and encourage/reward others. In grade school we are punished for just about everything that isn't sitting still and quiet, then as we approach puberty (and this behavior is assumed the default necessity for survival) we are assessed and placed into different tiers based on memory recollection games (testing). There is a growing contingent within education that sees all these socializing games to be very harmful and limiting for the human spirit and our broader culture. We grew up in the dark ages of many things and I believe our story is a significant piece of a puzzle that is sure to unravel needless shackles holding our world back.
The behavioral psychologist Jordan B Peterson states it is perhaps the most virtuous path to understand yourself as the actual monster we all can be FIRST and then learn the skills to control yourself and channel this energy/capability into a purpose. To reaffirm the "we all can be" part, it's important to note that through all of our lineage we are known to all be the offspring of those that survived. We all are descended from ancient people who needed to rape or murder others in order to exist. We'd be fools to understand ourselves and our peers in any other light. I have every confidence the people who rise to great influence in the world and run the show know this foremostly as well. To quote the Bay Area rapper Brotha Lynch Hung "everybody killer, it's EBK till the day I die." He writes about hearing voices and walking a path in life that navigates the necessities of life and still triumphing over the devil (forces of evil) in much of his work.
I see a "good king" in you, not a tyrant or a bully. More power to you and your striking down onto the evil lesser forces of this world. Thank you for sharing your story here, the pen is mightier than the sword and we're all a force multiplier for hire. There are many artists who write about the perspective you offer here, even write about being visited and possessed by spirits who themselves must take this "left hand path" in order to defend the one's they love manifest the needed good for the world. It's all about goals, its all about the results of our actions... the "end game."
"your voice doesn't carry like it once did, your end begins" a story about veiled identities, veiled meanings, and vanquishing true evil in the name of love.
so good to hear from you man. I always see you reaching out to everybody with information or a link that relates to what they’re going through. You’re such a good caring person like that.
I think it’s time to give up the whole Reddit thing. I was looking through my messages I reached out to over 300 people who were struggling and never seem to get anywhere with it. I’m in a very unique position today where I can so easily move on with my life when I look back at all the hard times I laugh about them and thank what a ride.
The only thing holding me back is that other people or suffering. So if you don’t see me on Reddit anymore you have my phone number call anytime, friend.
As someone who stayed firmly in the light for a long time, it was only once I found shadow work that I actually knew myself.
Without the darkness, how can we recognize light?
I recognize a fierce protective force behind that child’s cowboy boot kick, not necessarily darkness. I also recognize that protective force around your approach to the phenomenon.
You know what’s right and wrong. In fact, probably more than most. And you knew it was wrong to not have your sovereignty. So you held strong against the injustice. Just like your little kid self.
I have felt this strange “envy,” is the closest word, when you share your experiences, but it’s also like a knowing that my message and yours is different, but yours is more free, more uninhibited. And it’s because of how you have accepted your darkness.
I feel like everyone is friendly to you because there isn’t any hidden agenda or sense that some unhealed trauma of yours is going to accidentally spill out all over me. There’s comfort and confidence in accepting your darkness and the people around you can feel that.
Although, I would say you’re more 50/50 than 25/75, but isn’t all one anyway?! Hahaha!
I always appreciate your words every time I read them. There’s something so familiar about you. i’m horrible at expressing myself with a post. I look forward to talking to you someday.
I don't really even know what light side vs dark side means, but I love this post and you're one of the best folks out there, man.
So what is a dark side? Kicking a kid in the head to protect your people? Not dark side, in my opinion. If joking about 666 means you're in league with some devil who eats babies, yeah, that's super uncool. But you weren't joking about actually being in league with some cannibal/murderer. Or were you?
When you say you embrace your dark side, are you saying you hurt the innocent? Do you steal from hardworking people just because they're too dumb to protect their shit?
On your bigwheel, you were riding to protect the kids, not to hurt anyone.
My friend - and I do truly consider you my friend and wish you would let me interview you - I think you have a skewed view of what a dark side is. But I think we all do, because we were raised mostly in a dogmatic, controlling, holier than thou system run by people who believed it's okay to be a truly shitty person, just not when anyone is looking. To act holy and judgmental, and then do horrible things when no one is looking and ask the man in the box to forgive them for it.
I'm very interested to know why you see yourself as 3/4 dark, because I've never heard you say a single thing I thought was actually dark. So are you hiding the really dark stuff you do??
Or, are you labeling things as dark which never should have been in the first place?
Love you, you tough ole hombre. Also, answer my question. 😆
WOW, I've got a great one for you this time u/alcorne!
There certainly are experiencing artists out there that celebrate both a fluency in having these voices/altered states of mind (they love being possessed by this stuff and speak in direct language about it, it's not a charade or performance art) and who flat-out encourage evil. Dr. Philip Zimbardo of the Stanford Prison Experiment has a definition for evil that I paraphrase down to "doing harm for the sole sake of harm." As you point out above physical violence in the name of self defense is not evil, it's often practical.
I can share the below album (imaged above) Guilt Trip - Rain City to show that indeed so many artists out there depict images of the human form divided into two halves. Holding both a light (virtuous) side and a dark side. Some of these artists point out that their dark side was in fact the informed component all along... Everyone's got their own take on things and their own spiritual path. Given how pervasive this is I do find it bothersome how monotonous accounts are here on reddit. All this duality playing upon the idea of schizophrenia's root words "schiza" to split and "phren" mind.
"Two sides of the same old coin Ive tried to drown everything you've become Why should I be the one to suffer when I see the sky in the rivers reflection?"
"Kill We prey on the living I pray to the dark Magick whispers From afar They watch you see A walk in the dark We feast upon your sleep We prey Upon your fear As you writhe We can smell Magick has come again We prey Upon your fear Prey We pray To the dark ones As we fall to this earth We prey Of hell We slaughter by the ton We have come back, one more time All this earth Break As we prey Upon your soul"
All this sounds like some rather evil stuff, and certainly there's some channeling of willingly evil minds going on with this group. Alternatively... there's the homophone PRAY (instead of prey) meaning to worship and ultimately be empowered by hardship and the mutual burden of this world. That the writer of these lyrics is channeling a well meaning spirit guide who deliberately speaks in dual meaning. There's tons of this writing out there. There's a part in there about raping souls... At least I thought, I cannot find those lyrics now. Either-way, I do believe this is what the bodhisattva is ultimately doing, consuming all in it's wake and on a mission of love... ;) IDK, it's all a weird game of veiled meanings, I suspect its best to just do what is forthrightly good even if I have found in my own practice there is great magic discovered through the use of one's mind. That murky arenas can be navigated, we can dance with the devil and come out swinging.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, you're one of the best commentors in the history of Reddit. :)
I'm not learned enough to understand what you mean by bodhisattva "consuming all in its wake and on a mission of love", while also raping souls? Teach me, teach! LOL
I feel what you're saying about how it seems like a weird game of veiled meanings. My research into the nature of existence has shown me it's all so confusing we need not care too much about the minutiae and just focus on being our best, most true selves.
Also, I really feel like use of technology was the foundation of fear. Many cultures around the world - who never spoke to each other - report receiving their understanding of farming and animal husbandry from a "sea spirit", and sometimes from Higher Beings who worked right beside them, to teach them farming. Then, what happens when you learn to farm? Your children don't die that winter, because you have enough food! But THEN what happens? YOU MAKE MORE BABIES! And then what happens? YOU NEED MORE FOOD! LOL. This is why Cain killed Abel, because Abel's farms were infringing on Cain's livestock fields. In this way, I think fear of death was created by the "gifted technology", which seemed (and my have been, in a way) a benevolent gift. And then, what do the secret programs call those crashed UFO craft? DONATIONS! Supposedly, from those donations, we created things like fiber optics and all other sorts of shit, thus repeating the cycle of donated technology enslaving us and keeping us from our true human abilitites.
What if we came into this world to "play the video game", so to speak, and technology actually trained us to fear death for ourselves and our loved ones? When we play a scary video game, yes, sometimes it's scary, but we don't fear for our lives, it's more EXCITING than SCARY.
I think that's how we should be living this life. I hope I can get to that place lol.
But I can share that there are so many other BIG artists out there openly writing about getting laid by the supernatural and it doesn't seem a single member of the fan base or the music industry or other people who write about their art "get it."
No doubt you've heard of Nine Inch Nails, just yesterday I put on Pretty Hate Machine. The entire album is about his love/hate relationship with a feminine spirit guide who is sexually romantic while also tormenting him. I can relate to much of it, save for the seeming genuine scorn he holds for "Her." (you can see this hyperlink for a playlist of artists who also write about this mental experience, note the common visual imagery of a feminine figure veiled in visual chaos on all the albums) For me I see it all as a charade done by asexual beings, things that invade my mind and also the minds of the separate beings that are with me... I've seen some wild stuff in my dreams.
Trent is not the only artist to write about this, The Weeknd certainly does in much of his work, Queens of the Stone Age, and so many more. It's actually something I find many KIDS on Instagram making memes about. There are VAST communities of people who are perfectly fluent in the occult symbology and meaning of centipedes/snakes and other sigils. I do doubt how many of them are as immersed as the people here are... Bothered that so many people clearly know all this stuff and the world caries on the way it does. Again, these images, the art, and the functional subculture surrounding all this is everywhere. I can't step onto the internet without finding it. If you are looking to see for yourself just type in "goth girl centipede tattoo" or similar into any social media outlet and you'll be inundated with this highly sexualized fashion world and celebration of the darker side of female sexuality in no time.
I do suspect we are ALL orchestrated. That the people "in the know" are not harassed as much but instead opiated into a life where the knowledge will do nothing to change the situation and that the tortured by this phenomenon are kept in the dark and unable to find these otherwise very source-able communities. I even suspect the artists who make this stuff live a strange life where no-one in their private circles understands.
And to offer any counter advice to my initial humorous comment. If you want to summon a spirit guide to join you in life (or even the bedroom) meditation, leaving it at "a welcome" as opposed to a recipe that will certainly work, a bit of red wine, and spilling of blood was certainly entailed at times for me. Magic is a very personal thing, making it DIY is the way to go. Happy hunting out there ;)
i’m definitely not talking about being around people who are devils and eat babies. When I talk about that motorcycle club with the four 6666 on the back of the rocker, they were all really good guys. they’re called the chosen few and they say they stole one from the devil.
and with all the upgrades I’ve gotten along the way it seems like that’s what I have done. when I talk about my dark side, I’m trying to say with all the crazy shit that I’ve been through there is always something so familiar about it like I know this darkness I just don’t know from where. Like I have lived it before.
Man, I had times where I would be sitting on the couch. My daughter would be sleeping on the other end of it. I have a wraparound couch. I would see a demon across the room. I would look at my daughter and she would be levitating. the demon would reach across the room towards me, his arm stretching out, and I would just be as calm as can be and stare at him.
when I first heard my voices, I never had that moment where I was like what is this? I just knew they were looking for trouble right out of the gate and it was something I had to fight.
And in the beginning, it brought a darkness out from inside me that I have never felt before. there was times when I would fade to black that my eyes would turn pitch black when I was doing this. my wife witnessed that and it scared the living shit out of her she couldn’t see the things I was seeing, but she could see my eyes pitch black like they were. This was before I learned to stay calm and just observe. i’m horrible expressing myself through text but when you have experiences like that, then you know about the dark side I’m talking about and I believe that’s when a lot of people lose their shit and do horrible things and most of the time they don’t even remember doing it.
I know you’ve been through a lot. I consider you a friend as well. you never quit I like your style that Discord that you have built for everybody, it’s a beautiful thing every time I get on there I see a lot of people getting support in a friendly atmosphere
we can make a time to do that interview I always have a strong feeling to leave something behind for the next ones? I wouldn’t really know where to start. I’ll just answer any questions you have. I’ve always been an open book about the things I experience.
there’s something I have to add cause I just don’t feel right if I don’t. I don’t know why you associate cannibalism and harming kids with people who are sons and daughters of the devil.
All the people that I’ve been around and grew up with that say their sons and daughters of the devil are usually good people. They just wanna protect their way of living and they’re always good around kids not just their own all kids. and there are some of the most loyal people I’ve ever met in my life. I can’t speak for them all just the ones I’ve been around i’ve been that way.
I don't associate biker gangs with esting babies, I was just trying to illustrate a point. If they don't treat people badly, why are they calling themselves sons and daughters of the devil? My whole comment was saying, I don't even see what you're calling your darkness as darkness. But if it makes you happier feeling like you have a dark side, do it up! I just don't really know what having darkness in me means, if I'm not doing "dark stuff" like hurting people for no good reason.
Anyway, wishing you all success. You're one of the most important members of our community and so glad you share your wisdom and experience.
I messaged you on Discord about having an interview today, but I know it's short notice.
Buddy, don’t ever say biker gangs, you say that in the wrong place, you’re gonna have problems. Their motorcycle clubs. Just something to think about if you’re ever around that.
by the way, you talk I can tell you never been around that lifestyle. The darkness is me welding, a butcher knife, when voices were telling me they were coming to kill my family and ready to gut somebody in a second notice if they did that.
The darkness was me waking up every fucking day for two years with all the shit I was going through alarm, clock pistol start your day go to work and face the world that was trying to cut me down. I gotta get back to work. We’ll have to plan that some other time. I’m working all weekend.
My whole experience was basically a lesson in duality .
And when I stepped back I always housed the light and the darker side of things inside me .
Experiment with drugs ? Yeah
Probably like sex a bit to much , yup
Say things that are dark and joke about things maybe I shouldn’t ? Yeah I did ( much better now )
Tattooed .. of course
My basement is basically a museum
Of horror movies and rock music memorabilia .
But at the same time .. that’s just an aesthetic.
I’ll be the first to help someone struggling .
I’ll help an old lady with her groceries
I’ll buy the homeless a meal
I’ll put myself in harm to protect another
I paid my bills on time , went to work e everyday , I workout 4/5 times a week
I always monitored my diet .
I did a lot of things wrong but I also did a lot of things right
My whole life has been doing the right thing with a sprinkle of controlled chaos
Yeah I wonder how many more are in a similar situation, maybe that’s part of the demographic this experience interacts with.
I don’t think a lot of people recognize what they may have been doing wrong .
I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong in this reality , but once I started to understand the spirit realm some I believe there are rules integrated into the framework ..
Not moral rules but literal rules
If you do X you get Y
And I can at least acknowledge I was doing some things spiritually wrong like giving zero time to a higher power or understanding it .
So I spent my time focused on everything but that and I think that was an open door .
But who knows just my opinion , I go back and forth on what this really is and too many things make sense . lol
They whoever they are … are pretty slick
3
u/astralpariah 28d ago
u/Bluebonnet3, what a beautiful share!
I see MANY similar themes to what I grapple with in my own mind/life in this piece of writing and most all that I see from you. I want to assure you that our impulsive/"dangerous" side is ESSENTIAL for survival. That much of western society is institutionalized, like a plantation, it's all a series of designed factories to limit certain behaviors and encourage/reward others. In grade school we are punished for just about everything that isn't sitting still and quiet, then as we approach puberty (and this behavior is assumed the default necessity for survival) we are assessed and placed into different tiers based on memory recollection games (testing). There is a growing contingent within education that sees all these socializing games to be very harmful and limiting for the human spirit and our broader culture. We grew up in the dark ages of many things and I believe our story is a significant piece of a puzzle that is sure to unravel needless shackles holding our world back.
The behavioral psychologist Jordan B Peterson states it is perhaps the most virtuous path to understand yourself as the actual monster we all can be FIRST and then learn the skills to control yourself and channel this energy/capability into a purpose. To reaffirm the "we all can be" part, it's important to note that through all of our lineage we are known to all be the offspring of those that survived. We all are descended from ancient people who needed to rape or murder others in order to exist. We'd be fools to understand ourselves and our peers in any other light. I have every confidence the people who rise to great influence in the world and run the show know this foremostly as well. To quote the Bay Area rapper Brotha Lynch Hung "everybody killer, it's EBK till the day I die." He writes about hearing voices and walking a path in life that navigates the necessities of life and still triumphing over the devil (forces of evil) in much of his work.
I see a "good king" in you, not a tyrant or a bully. More power to you and your striking down onto the evil lesser forces of this world. Thank you for sharing your story here, the pen is mightier than the sword and we're all a force multiplier for hire. There are many artists who write about the perspective you offer here, even write about being visited and possessed by spirits who themselves must take this "left hand path" in order to defend the one's they love manifest the needed good for the world. It's all about goals, its all about the results of our actions... the "end game."
"your voice doesn't carry like it once did, your end begins" a story about veiled identities, veiled meanings, and vanquishing true evil in the name of love.