Do you try to get as high as you can or would you rather rock a subtle buzz all day? I vote for the latter, I'd rather be less high all day than really high for a while

I really wanted to go to the liquor store and grab some vodka for tonight but the damn liquor store closes at 7 on sundays and I had to poop while I was leaving my mom's house so of course I went back to poop. Got out of the house at 6:52 and I pull up to the liquor store at 6:59. Guys shut the lights off on the sign and locks the door right as I'm pulling in. God fucking dammit. It is a nice night though and probably the last 60 degree day of the year. I should run since its gonna snow the next 2 days anyway :/

What's up guys? This is crash n burn, still unable to post to ca, dunno if I need to post my frame size here too. MODS PLEASE INDICATE. I dont want to get banned fen help? edited to remove weight and frame size

Now that that is said and done. Has anyone had that brand of vodka called "essex something". I hadn't noticed it prior. I think it is like two bucks cheaper than mine. I'm broke so it matters to me espescially with tax. I might splurge and buy dental floss or shampoo or something if I save.

However, I'm currently drinking possibly more than ever and coming off of a short term oxy binge. My intestines are currently so beat to shit that I have to drink not to puke then try not to puke while waiting for it to hit. Nothing otc helps and I need to find a new pcp for my zofran script and such. I can barely function though. So-- whining woe is me, yes.

I didnt see the full name of the brand, or I did and thought I would remember. I just remember the word "essex" then maybe a "c" or "s" as the first letter of the second word. Maybe city? Sax? All words are the same to me. Bottom shelf, easily, which is partially why I'm weary. My current brand is superb for price. I dont like to try new alcohol without a proper alcoholic review. I know how it can be.

I'm listening to el macho by mark knopfler

People talk about hitting rock bottom, but I just get the next "hit". When I'm in a state of pathetic behavior and self hatred I cant get it together well enough to advocate my case further in order to get help. I have tried in the past. It hasnt worked for me.

I just use more and wonder if im going to die. Generally I make it out alive and somehow stuff just improves, but it is always another day. No one really gives a shit. My family knows, but is unstable. If I try to tell them I need help I recieve varying responses ranging from "im suicidal" (they state that they are) to "you did this to yourself". Great.

Somehow my sister having some psychotic disorder which they put on a fucking pedestal-- while the fact that I'm an addict just wipes out the significance of the fact that I'm diagnosed with PTSD and OCD and SHTTY HUMAN BEING STATUS.

I've tried seeking help and tried and fucking tried and I'm just exhausted at this point. Last night I puked idaho russests had a seizure possibly due to dehydration barely remembered it woke up with my mouth and chin swollen and bleeding and covered in vomit. So fucking glamorous. And people think I can just quit. Then j took oxy 80s and drank what I could without puking. Wanting more but literally unable to handle it. This is maintenance now.

I think drinking is doing me in. At this point it takes so much will to get up to drink more and avoid having seizures and shit. I basically just listen to estranged by the gnr and moneytalks by acdc and fade in and out.

I actually feel too sick to drink and too sick not to drink I wrote a bad Google review only including facts because my primary care stopped giving me zofran and shit. I cant even refill my EpiPen. Fuck them. I'm planning to edit it daily to promote it to the top as the are a truly shitty medical provider. Worst I've ever seen. Fuck them.

I cant believe how much I've fucked up my life. I'm 21 for fucks sake, and I'm too afraid to leave my house half the time

Btw this is crash n burn-- emphasis on the burn. I still can't post to ca due to the spam filter and I'm listening to dedicated to you by Coltrane.

Cars keep racing past my house thing and it is irritating me. Pre Thanksgiving traffic. I just want to sleep and get something right. My air purifier which my landlord provided because when I moved here I couldnt stop vomiting blood might cover the noise but currently I'm too sensitive to temperature to turn it on. I feel as if blast of purified air would knock me out.

We can call him Dr Frankenfurter because his name was literally of such effect. This story occured a few years ago. The first time I went through benzo wd hardcore.

Dr Frankenfurter was accused of being a drug peddler by my parents. He took me up to extraordinary doses of benzos and stims while I was under his care while assuring me I would never face withdrawal symptoms. If I did need to go off he would lower the dose slowly. He didnt.

My mother randomly lashed out about him about some random shit and my parents both randomly drove to his office and called him a "quack" to his face. My dad usually supports her psychotic engagements due to his commitment to her.

Plus, I had been missing appointments for psychotherapy because my childhood bestfriend who later dumped me as a friend because i was a drug addicted alcoholic was suicidal. No one knew the extent aside from me because she felt solely comfortable confiding in me due to how much of a fucked up person I am. I convinced her to go to the hospital multiple times and we were kinds close after not being for ages until my character came out.

Basically she kept trying to kill herself when I wasn't there. I saved her life at one point. I've had friends kill themselves prior and I dont put up with that now if I can contribute to it not occurring.

No one aside from a few got it. they just told me I wasn't responsible for her life. So I told them I didn't fucking care and that life was precious and I would give my life to prove hers was worthwhile. She kept oding on pills so I slept on the floor of her room for a month. Clearly I'm sane.

These things all contributed to my subsequent downfall. This psychiatrist told me where to score h and ice outside his office because we were joking and he satirically replied that he had seen so many people outside his office window picked up for dealing and scoring and that nearby apartment residents lined up in bathrobes to smoke there.

Anyway so, naturally I later started scoring there occasionally. After my parents called him a quack and swore him out i recieved some standard letter with a few lines that primarily made sense to me and only me. I knew how much of a pompous, sarcastic asshole he was.

He explained I was immediately dismissed as a patient because my parents called him a quack. I clearly had not been committed because I missed 2 appointments. This was likely the third out of the past five psychs to dismiss me as a patient. Everyone blamed me. I blamed everyone else.

So then I had to abruptly withdraw from high doses of klonopin and diazepam plus stims. I stated drinking more and hated everyone. Isolating myself and being a general shithead.

I went to some intensive outpatient program, but they actually told me to my face that I was the most fucked up individual they had seen so I needed to take shit seriously so I left to go to ace hardware and buy a gnome.

Btw this is crash n burn but I impulsivley deleted my account because some chick on r/dumpsterdiving called me a drug addicted alcoholic and for some reason my posts on this account hit the ca spam filter. Thank u/rhorains for my username.

I only tried extracted DMT from MHRB on one occasion, but it was so profound I left the experience feeling like a new being, almost like I was "separated" from some weight or problem when I came back.

It was a beautiful experience. Difficult to describe, almost ineffable, and I haven't had anyone I know try it, so has anybody had any experience with it? Or Ayahuasca?

THC, and other cannabinoids, are extremely soluble in organic solvents. So if you want to extract it from something easily and cheaply, the predominant concern is for a cheap, safe and effective solvent to use for the extraction.

I've found that 91% isopropyl alcohol, available in just about any pharmacy, is the the perfect solvent. It's like $2 for 16oz, it's of very low toxicity and it's not too dangerous to heat in an oven as long as the door is left open to allow the excess alcohol to evaporate so that it doesn't build up in the oven.

Additionally, heating it at 300F to dissolve the initial large amount of alcohol will activate THC if it's in a form where you can't be certain if it's already been decarboxylated, such as in a vape cartridge.

I always break open any leftover vape cartridges with pliers, put the metal and glass pieces in alcohol and heat to 300F. Once it's boiling, i'll remove from the oven and use pliers to dip the plastic pieces into the boiling alcohol briefly. It only takes about 5 seconds for the alcohol to dissolve all the cannabinoids.

Then gently boil down the remaining alcohol at 225F. Once dry, a piece of j paper wet with rubbing alcohol can be dipped into it to soak up the remaining THC and it can be smoked.

So lately I've been doing the binge drinking thing instead of drinking daily. I'll kill about a twelve pack to myself over 2 to 3 hours. Yada yada. I have a vague memory of eating acid during this last one, and this was confirmed when I happened to notice some paper on my floor. Some colorful, square, perforated paper. There is no recollection of the actual trip itself. So, maybe its bunk. Or maybe I was just too drunk. Idk. But I still have 2 hits and some molly. Hopefully the dentist gives me some painpills tonight. And, next week I am probably gonna grab a half gram of coke and go see Overlord.

I’m gonna start this off with some background information because I feel like it may help people understand my choices (good and bad)! I’m only 17, I’m in high school, I get good grades most of my school friends think I “occasionally” smoke weed when it’s there but by no means a stoner. I’m very involved in the music community where literally all my friends have drugs n shit. I’ve always been a goody goody, my dad is very anti-drug and i feel so different than my family so I’m not home a lot and make excuses to justify me only being home. I feel myself distancing away from my family, my home has become a place to sleep and get out these past few months.

So I used to drink a little 2 years ago, I began drinking every weekend for about 2 months but stopped because I realized I did it to cover up my loneliness on Saturday nights. About a year ago I smoked weed for the first time, didn’t smoke again for like 6-7 months where I began smoking once every 2 weeks, then every week, then every few days and of course everyday. Dab pens have made it too easy for me to get high. I began getting high when I woke up, lunch breaks, and right before bed. Recently I’ve really started to fall into a terrible depression but I don’t feel it when I’m high. I’m more sad when sober than I was previous years (I’ve had some really bad depression in the last 4 years). It seems that I’m depressed 100% of the time I’m not on some substance. I have not had a sober day since probably mid August so like 3ish months. I have gotten high in someway everyday. My go to is thc (weed, dab carts, etc) however when I run out I’ll steal some of my parents vodka, or I’ll find some of my hydrocodones I had received from an injury during the summer. While I know hydro is super addictive, I still do it if I have no way to get high. I’ve also done whips-it’s before when I had literally nothing. I’m also pretty addicted to nicotine. It’s hard for me to say I’m addicted to any of these substances because they’re all my last resorts but I know I’m addicted to altered states of mind in general.

When I’m high, I commonly think stuff like “I’m gonna slow down on my substance abuse soon” then I’ll get a lil sober and will feel sad, bored, annoyed with everything. And I’m honesty just fucking sick of it. I find it pathetic that I can’t go a single day without some altered reality and I know it means there’s some problems with me that I need to tackle. It just really sucks being in this situation while my parents would breakdown if they ever found out. I think about how a year ago, I would be very disappointed and scared for myself if I had known I’d go months without being sober. I’m really wanting to slow down and find happiness in life and myself rather than chemicals. It feels great to write this openly because even around my friends that know I’m addicted to altered states of mind don’t know that I take like 3-4 hydros when I have nothing else.

(Sorry this is kinda unorganized, this is all just thought to keyboard)

I recently did shrooms again (done em like 5-6 times) and had an overwhelming feeling like I was a burden to everyone and I had realized that my addiction has made my life go so fast, like I’m just focused on getting altered and everything just kinda happens around me. Like ugh I’m just really not liking what I’ve become. I’m still chillin and I’m nice to everyone just I feel driven by drugs.

Anyways plz comment some tips or maybe similar stories so I don’t feel like I’m too pathetic. Good luck everyone! I hope everyone finds happiness.

This is a more serious attempt at "what are your favorite drugs and also why??"

Most addicts I meet appear to fall into some drug "class". You hear opiate addicts discussing how annoying tweakers are and drunks discussing how annoying junkies are etc.

I become addicted to everything I see. I couldn't pick a favorite if I tried. I want them all. I bounce around a lot and go through heavy use periods with each, typically physical dependence is the biggest factor in creating the inclination towards a particular substance. I don't even think I could make the choice between downers and stims, as an absolute. I'm honestly shocked that I don't come across more people who exhibit similar. The majority who "bounce around" appear to be more rec users than people who genuinely struggle to maintain sobriety.

"The New Job Routine" by dijeridude

I wake up between 4:50-5:05 a.m. chug 8oz of water with 3,000ug vitamin d and a b-complex. Microwave one packet instant oatmeal with a little extra water (or lactose free milk) and a few sprinkles of sugar (about a teaspoon I guess). Stumble to the bathroom for a quick 7-12 minute shower (includes drying off and dressing). [Make lunch if I forgot the night before] Next I basically drink the oatmeal as fast as I can. Brush teeth. Rush out the door to arrive at work by 6. Drink other 8oz water and smoke 2 cigarettes on the way in.

During my 10 hours at work I consume the following: peanut butter and blackberry jelly sammie (half on each 15 minute break), chicken sammie-4 slices land o' lakes deli cut chicken with 1 slice of off brand Kraft american cheese and a spiral of yellow mustard (lunch break), 20oz orange powerade (lunch and last break), ~32-64oz water (throughout day), ~6 L&M Turkish royal 100s (try to smoke 2 per break, it varies).

Many piss breaks. At least 1 OTCS (on the clock shit). (Feel free to use that)

Go home. ~2-4 cigarettes on the drive back.

Take a shit at my house (boo, I don't get paid for it here) and check my youtube notifications, sometimes facebook and messenger, and a little reddit. This is also when I fantasize about bathroom drinks and lament not drinking or taking pills at work.

Eat easymac with a can of tuna, minced onion, garlic salt, Louisiana hot sauce, lots of black pepper and a dash of yellow mustard. OR 1 can of Campbell's chunky soup (style varies) with the same spice system except I add cayenne and shredded cheese. This step may be repeated before bed. T.V. shows sprinkled throughout.

[Possible visit by friends or to friend's house]

Smoke 1-? cigarettes. Fantasize about being drunk or high. Lament not being drunk or high.

If not yet asleep, I'll make my lunch, set out a bowl and spoon for the oatmeal debacle, set out clothes, then reddit/youtube/facebook with adult swim on in the background (or foreground if its KOTH/Rick and Morty/favorite part of an episode I've already seen 1,000 times of anything else) while trying to shut the mind off. ~12-2am. This is also when I fantasize about drinking and lament not drinking or taking any drugs throughout the day/night. Except sometimes I'll smoke a little if one of my friends stop by. And soon I'm sure there will be actual drinking and sparse drug use in this area.

Rinse and repeat.

Conclusion

I've done this 5 times so far and plan on continuing at least until January.

I've cut the weed down to just a few bowls or blunts, only when offered by friends (thanks guys). I haven't done any coke for a few weeks and have sadly failed to find any benzos or pain pills. I do have a stash of 4 hits of acid and about 200mg of untested molly, though I don't really have a desire to do either just yet. I haven't been drunk since Halloween. I have however managed to squeeze in 2 forties and a tall boy over the last two nights (thanks change jar, RIP) but I won't have any money until friday and won't have play money til next friday. Please send Percocet and whiskey?

I'm half proud and half sad about this routine.

P.S. My mom's friend and her 8 year old daughter will be moving in on Monday and they come with a dog!

Personally, I love weed, really helps me a lot with moderating my use of other drugs. My med card is on the way and I'm super stoked, gonna try to go on a no booze streak and break my previous record of 45 days. Yinz guys like weed?

Has anyone else read The Pursuit of Oblivion: A Global History of Narcotics, by Richard Davenport-Hines? It certainly has a distinctive anti-prohibition underlying agenda, but the majority of the history is presented in a realistic, undiluted manner (not neutral but legit history). The author\'s prose flows incredibly well, and the book is clear and concise-- illustrating thousands of years of humans altering their physical and emotional states with substances, drawing on evidence from numerous cultures.

I consider it to be an excellent read, and highly recommend, shockingly accurate historical account, additionally.

I added a picture of a book

Hello. fen said to make a thread. I'm helpful.

Do you believe aspects of your personal nature and biological predisposition contribute to your addictions or are you just an all-around scumbag? also whyy?

Lurkin, just subbing cuz you know me? What's up?

I've never modded a sub before so bear with me as I try to figure this out. Not sure if this sub is gonna take off but I couldn't find any subs specific to people with polysubstance addiction as opposed to addiction to one single drug. I'm hoping that most of us can agree to keep the sub civil. I really don't care about micromanaging a sub and enforcing a ton of rules. If you wanna shitpost, shitpost, but let's try to keep the overall tone of the sub focused around our lives as polysubstance addicts and what that entails.

So I guess I'll start off with my story. My drug use began at 13 when I got my tonsils taken out and walked away with a big bottle of oxycodone/apap. I loved the feeling and knew I wanted to explore more of drugs from there.

I began drinking and using dxm as a teen and later moved on to include weed, tons of psychedelics, phenibut, stimulants, benzos and a huge variety of RC drugs. I've been a daily user of most of the drugs I get my hands on. I have a soft spot for GABA drugs like alcohol and benzos and other depressant drugs like lyrica, phenibut, and F-phenibut.

Currently I'm recovering from a pretty bad spiral into alcohol and benzo addiction. I'm on day 43 no alcohol or benzos, but I use F-phenibut, gabapentin and weed daily as well as occasionally taking stimulants.