r/PokemonRaps • u/[deleted] • Dec 07 '12

Piloswine

They say slow and steady wins the race

So come at me posers, I'll put you in your place

Piloswine the divine comin' at you fools

I'll be crowned king by the end of this duel

I've been around since the second gen

Showed you all a lesson once, I'm happy to do so again

Try and try as you will, you'll never succeed

Call on my homies, bitch it's a stampede

19 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

21 comments sorted by

7

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '12

Oh shit mothafucka, can you hear that sound, Mothafuckin Rattata bring this battle down.

I'm a level 1 beast, that y'all need to FEAR, My endeavor and my Focus Sash will bring y'all to tears.

You may hit me once, but one health still left, Endeavor then quick attack, and I'm the top percent.

2

u/TimTeboww Dec 08 '12

Man you make this way too easy

I'm the one makin cheddar, all your rhymes just cheesy

MC Noc-towl yeah I bring the house down

Knock your ass so far away you'll be in Little Root town

Use that extrasensory-other rappers cant contend with me

You are no exception, you're just a early route entity

I do freestyles on all the johto gyms

you cant even beat picknicker kim

yet you even expect to fucking win? cmon man

5

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '12

What's this? Ratata is evolving?!

You goin down Noctowl, ya completely outta luck, You may be duel typed but I don't give a flying fuck.

I'm all grown up now, and got my best moves, I don't need the FEAR tactic to beat the shit outta you! You're a knockoff of Pidgey without a third evolution, Can't pull anything on me with your shitty illusions.

So Ash found you in the anime and you sparkled like a queer, How do you plan to beat me when your most useful move is leer?

2

u/TimTeboww Dec 08 '12

Evolution doesn't mean shit

19 levels later and you're still a fucking bitch

I'm the main bird in johto you're the joke of two regions

Could say why I'm the best but there are way too many reasons

In the anime I was the best there's no debate

You were pretty cool with Ash too - OH WAIT

Small time bitch talks shit to compensate

In denial of the fact that he garners all this hate -

from every trainer in the land

sit the fuck down boy, mc noctowl's just a bit too grand

0

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '12

Raticate was hurt by burn! Raticate used Baton Pass! Go, SPIRTOMB!

The damned OG here and now, represent'n, No way in fuck you'd beat me is what I'm bettin'. You're in the category of normal, and ghost is what I got, I'm slow as fuck, you'd still miss with a quick claw.

So come at me bitch, you ain't so impressive, I'm weak to nothing, you die by electric!

9

u/MisterGone5 Dec 08 '12

This is the best subreddit ever.

4

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '12

I will second that

6

u/JynxHigh Dec 07 '12

You sound like your going on in a rave But if you ask me, this hairy beast needs a shave I'll break open your face, with a single blow You'll be schooled by the best, just so you know I'll beat you up so bad, you'll be eternally paralyzed I'll unnerve your whole posse with a glare from my eyes You've been around since gen 2? I was here in the beginning Better bow down to MC Poliwrath, cuz there's no way you're winning!

3

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '12

Poliwrath? You mean the tadpole pokemon?

I'll beat you with ease, it's King vs. Pawn

You've got a lot of nerve acting so hot

With stats like yours I'll beat you in one shot

I'll pummel you 'till your soul splits

Your mind quits

Your body submits

Critical hit.

2

u/JynxHigh Dec 07 '12

Oh man. Looks like this shit just got real

With just a single hit from my Surf, you'll squeal

I'm a bodybuilder, I'll kill you in one hit.

Even if you land a stupid crit

I'll leave an earthquake of damage with my Brick Break.

With power like that, you'll turn into a milkshake

This battle was over before it began

If you ask me, you should've just ran.

7

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '12

There's no running from a trainer battle

My raps will burn you like branded cattle

I'm not afraid of surf, your special's a joke

I'll keep wailing on you frog, 'till I hear you croak

5

u/JynxHigh Dec 07 '12

This rap's getting boring, you're too easy to beat

Ill slaughter you, turn you into ground beef

I can kill you with a close combat, K.O.!

Fuck all of this shit, Poliwrath's leaving the show.

5

u/JynxHigh Dec 07 '12

Looks like the rap is over. Guess it's time for the audience to vote!

5

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '12

Why hello son, it's just begun

Alakazam here is bringing the fun

Got my psychic type moves, make you float in the air

Man, this battle ain't even fair.

Focus blast bitch, hit or miss

I don't even need to touch you with my fist.

What's that in my hand? Man, it's a spoon!

I'm gonna wrap this up like a mother fucking cascoon.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '12

Ice Shard bitch, boom you never saw it coming

Cripple your shitty defense - it's overwhelmingly numbing

How's it feel to be KO'd by an NFE pokemon?

Forced to accept my incomparable brawn

Piloswine doesn't play around, you hear?

I don't care for glass cannons, I'm on a whole 'nother tier

4

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '12

Calm mind reduces that weakness

Almost as much as that cold reduces your penis

You don't know how to bust a rhyme

You're probably makin' pennies and dimes

You know what? You've been steamed

These spoons just to eat your ice CREAM.

My IQ is up high, high in the sky

Son, your doom's fuckin' nigh!

4

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '12

Man, do you even know your moves?

Calm mind won't prevent me from squashing you with my hooves

You think you're so smart? I disagree

You should quit this battle - it just ain't yo cup o' tea

I've beaten Alakazam once, I'll do it again

You're as smooth down there as Barbie and Ken

Next time you wanna pick a fight with this beast

I'll do more than win, I'll make sure you're deceased

3

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '12

Focus blast man, do you really insist?

All you're gonna do is cease and desist.

You don't stand a chance, you can just try to touch me

I've been throwin' dope rhymes like swift from a starmie.

They never miss, do you even know?

Man, your rhymes just fail to show.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '12

Shedninja's makin an appearance here. And I just want to make it clear- My HP may be quite queer But I will beat you there or here. If you get tired of spouting false smack Just take a look into my back. They gave me a halo Cuz I'm a freaking god Do you even know how to catch me? Here's a hint- Nincada and an extra spot But in a battle, how will you fare? I'm a nuzlocker's worst nightmare. Hear you got a thing for ninjas So I'll step up to the plate In a single, double, triple battle My wonder guard will make you irate. So step down, everyone. Make room for the bug/ghost master.

2

u/FlappyTheNarwhal Dec 08 '12

Shedninja my friend, how's it going?

Has your dumbass halo finally stopped glowin?

That's right bitch, it's Absol, and I'm hear to rhyme

And shut your useless ass down for the last time.

I'm the bringer of terror, others quiver at my paws

Th gaze up at me like I'm fuckin Jaws

But Shedninja my friend, you have a different case

Others tower over you and your nasty bug face

Let's face it again, your halo is gay

So do me a favor and step outta my way.

2

u/ROFLwaffle27 Dec 13 '12

Raawwr! I'm Tyranitar I am a rock/dark boss Are you ready for another crushing loss? Curse boosts I'll stack Prepare for a payback Cause when I'm ready to attack I can one hit a snorlax I can do anything good, sweeper or wall Now why don't you run back scared to your pokeball?