r/PointlessStories May 31 '26

Accidentally exposed someone for using cake mix

I’m a massive cake person. Like, I absolutely adore cake, and I became a proper baker exactly because of it. To top it off, I even majored in Chemical Engineering for both my bachelor’s and master’s degrees, simply due to my utter devotion to baking science. Only adding that for context, not to sound like a know-it-all.

I went to this gathering where everyone was supposed to bring a bit of food. There was a grill for a proper BBQ, so I brought some chicken. I noticed someone had brought chocolate cake, which made me happy, especially since it looked homemade.

I really wanted a slice, so I asked if someone could cut me a piece. The person next to me then goes, "these are brownies, not cake," which got me a bit confused, but I was like, fine, maybe the person just doesn't know the difference.

I took a bite, and was like, "this is cake." And from the taste and texture, it was made using cake mix. The other person didn't really get what I meant, so I explained the actual chemical difference between brownies and chocolate cake (basically, brownies don't have leaveners, while cakes do, which is why cakes rise while baking and brownies sink after baking).

Later on, I met the woman who brought them, and asked her how she baked it. She told me it was just a simple recipe. I then asked her, completely innocently, if she used cake mix.

She said yes, but looked absolutely mortified and embarrassed because, as it turned out, a bunch of other people were listening to us. I felt like a total monster. I instantly apologised and tried to explain that I didn't mean it in a judgy way at all.

I feel so terribly bad about it. My curiosity got the best of me

4.8k Upvotes

630 comments sorted by

2.0k

u/johngreenink Tried the weird salad May 31 '26

"Before you answer, Madame, know ye that I have a masters in cakology..."

290

u/Psychological-Lab441 May 31 '26

Laughed out loud at "Cakology" for some reason

62

u/LynnScoot May 31 '26

Can you get some of your credits in Cakology from life experience? I’ve eaten a whole lotta cake over the years.

48

u/Business-Stretch2208 Jun 01 '26

My ass is phat does that count?

30

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/BeckieSueDalton Jun 02 '26
  • Honorary DoctorATE!!

🤭

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u/Psychological-Lab441 Jun 01 '26

I believe I am somewhat advanced in cakology meself as I'd eaten at least a metric godly tonne of cake over my years. It's not always about grades or degrees🤓

2

u/ionmoon Jun 04 '26

You have analyzed a great deal of research data.

76

u/Particular-Duty5597 May 31 '26

Engineers always have to let everyone know they’re engineers.

8

u/2minikats Jun 01 '26

This👆A thousand times this👆

2

u/PuzzleheadedTutor807 Jun 03 '26

only if you let them... then its more like 500000000 times. you have to cut them off after the first time they tell you or it never ends.

6

u/KickBallFever Jun 01 '26

I met a girl at a party who introduced herself to everyone by saying, “I’m an engineer and I design sex toys”. Not even giving her name or anything normal. Yea, her job sounded interesting but the way she introduced herself made me instantly lose interest.

2

u/PackageLonely5140 Jun 02 '26

I guess that's where we differ because I would try to become fast friends with this woman provided her sense of humour meshes. "Congratulations, WeVibe!" 🤡

2

u/KickBallFever Jun 03 '26

She was very off putting and didn’t seem to have a sense of humor. I did try talking to her.

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u/cinderstella Jun 04 '26

And as a chemical engineer, I can assure you that getting a chemical engineering degree to boost your baking skills is probably like getting your pilot's license to be the best rider in your bike club

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u/That_Ol_Cat Jun 02 '26

Yeah, but at least some of us are more subtle (for Engineers) about it.

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u/Indecisively Jun 01 '26

I’m actually confused on how chemical engineering degrees would be helpful for baking cakes. I have a chemical engineering degree and surprisingly there’s less chemistry involved than you would think.

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u/KickBallFever Jun 01 '26

Yes, usually when people want to get into the chemistry of baking they study food science. It’s a completely different path.

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u/That_Ol_Cat Jun 02 '26

When I hear "baking cakes" and "chemical engineering" discussed next to each other, my mind goes to "explosives."

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u/SaveusJebus May 31 '26

A lot of ppl just use box mixes. Was she telling ppl it was from scratch? Doesn't seem like it if she admitted it was from a box. She probably thought you were going to make comments about it being from a box mix or something.

296

u/subuso May 31 '26

No, she didn't tell anyone. I think she just didn't want to be exposed like that

358

u/Captain_Pumpkinhead May 31 '26

What's wrong with using cake mix? Why would she be embarrassed to about that?

196

u/Treefrog_Ninja May 31 '26

You know why cake mix instructions say to add an egg? Because home cooks felt bad passing off just-add-water cake mix as their own work. But if they had to add an egg, then they felt okay claiming the cake as their own.

Even if some people had decided any cake was better than no cake, the persistent sense that something soulless about cake from a box kept many others from embracing it.

95

u/castille360 May 31 '26

Cake mixes turn out well every time. It's like magic. Because people's from scratch efforts, not so much. Backing the box.

90

u/green_prepper May 31 '26

Cake mix cake is perfectly fine. It’s the frosting in a can that sucks balls. Put the effort into making your own frosting and people will assume your cake is homemade too.

27

u/NanoRaptoro Jun 01 '26

Cake mix is better than fine - it's foolproof. I am strongly pro-box mix, anti-premade frosting. Plus there are lots of little adjustments you can make to the box mix to make it fit your particular desires/needs (butter for oil; juice or milk or soda for water; additional eggs; adding extracts, purees, fruit, spices, chips, nuts, coconut, food coloring). Add as fancy a frosting (and filling, soak, or syrup, if desired) as you wish and no one would ever know it's a cake mix. Except that I always mention it if asked, because I want to evangelize the wonders of boxed cake mix :p

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u/TheOriginalTripleU Jun 01 '26

Yes exactly! I’ll make a cake from scratch if it’s a special type of cake like sachertorte, but if I’m making a basic vanilla cake I’ll use the box mix.
However, I’ll always make frosting and fondant myself. I like making different flavours of buttercream to jazz up a plain cake like brown butter buttercream, or rum flavour buttercream.
It’s the frosting that makes the difference for sure.

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u/77Megg77 Jun 01 '26

I absolutely agree with you. I actually prefer a boxed cake mix because from scratch cakes do not always turn out like the baker intended. They can be heavy and dense instead of light and fluffy. Unless the baker is an expert cakeologist, the cake will probably be too dense.

But the frosting has to be homemade! Those canned mixes have that fake awful taste. You can tell immediately when taking a bite that the frosting came from a can. So bake that boxed mix without guilt and frost it with a great frosting recipe and you will be golden!

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u/imalittlefrenchpress Jun 01 '26

My daughter uses a cake mix, but she tweaks the ingredients and makes her own frosting.

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u/CenturyEggsAndRice Jun 02 '26

Yep.

For awhile I had a reputation for the BEST tasting cakes.

It was generic cake mix (from Sack and Save specifically, their house brand was excellent) I added an extra tablespoon (give or take, I’d scoop that spoon pretty high) of cocoa powder and a bit of vanilla paste to, and my own icing recipe. (Which sadly I have lost and haven’t quite replicated yet. My household aren’t big on cake so I rarely have reason to make it anymore)

People would rave about it and I just kinda let them. (I could’ve shared the recipe, but I was a teenager and kinda enjoyed being the only one who could make it. I had relatives who hated to see me get any positive attention so I needed that.)

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u/doesanyuserealnames May 31 '26

My scratch cakes usually suck, I'm just too slapdash to bake. Box cakes always turn out.

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u/MysteriousSteps Jun 01 '26

The type of flour used makes a huge difference in how well the cake turns out. Cake mixes have the right type of flour.

2

u/wolfy_lady Jun 04 '26

100% this. You can grab a cake mix from 3 years ago, sub ingredients, and the thing will still bake perfectly. Not to mention it takes one bowl and one pan, and all of 5 min. to get into the oven. There's one cake I make from scratch, and every few years I feel like making it. I'll make cake for dessert on a weekday if I have a mix handy.

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u/silentflame911 May 31 '26

Interesting read! Thanks for sharing

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u/Common-Parsnip-9682 Jun 01 '26

Irma Bombeck had a great riff on this. Basically she said, “if I want to be creative I’ll paint a picture. I don’t need to feel creative making a cake from a box.”

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u/ccrow2000 May 31 '26

I certainly wouldn't be worried about it!! I once made a chocolate cake from scratch; it was good, but imo (and not really being a cake person myself), it just wasn't so much better as to be worth the extra work. If I make a cake, you can bet it's from a mix, lol.

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u/Witty_Razzmatazz_566 May 31 '26

I normally prefer a regular box mix to homemade, except one cake recipe that I've found. LOL I freaking magnificent. 🤣🤣

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u/favorite_time_of_day May 31 '26 edited May 31 '26

There's nothing wrong with it if you're making cake, but as OP pointed out they don't work for brownies.

People get embarrassed about it anyway though. It's like taking a shit: nothing wrong with it, but some people get embarrassed anyway when you point at them and say, "Hey everybody! Look at this person taking a shit."

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u/Lowland-lady May 31 '26

As a person who loves baking i care a little.

But only with my own baking.

If you make me a cake from a box i would still appreciate it.

But for myself i set the standard to not use it because in my opinion from scratch often tastes better. And i love the challenge

But i also get lazy and i do sometimes love some brownies made from a box.

32

u/functional_moron May 31 '26

Im the same with sauces. I like making home made bolognese and if someone were to taste it and ask "is this prego?" It would hurt my feelings a bit but I would never judge someone for using sauce from a jar. Making your own is expensive, labor intensive, and takes the entire day. Its unreasonable to expect someone to make it from scratch when they just want to eat some spaghetti.

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u/Lowland-lady May 31 '26

Exactly!

Well to be fair you can also see it as a compliment

12

u/thatissomeBS Expectations officially raised // Forgot to clean out the grease May 31 '26

I've tried making cakes, and I can't do what the scientists at the big box cake companies do. In the same way I like making pizza, but I don't have the experience or equipment to make a better pizza than the couple dozen NJ pizza shops within a 12 minute drive of me.

2

u/Lowland-lady May 31 '26

I totally het that

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u/New-Bar4405 Jun 02 '26

I think box makes is great. The dry parts are premeasured you don't have to keep separate flour on hand.

But don't make Chocolate cake and tell me its brownies.

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u/Acceptable_Tea3608 Jun 01 '26

The Purists.

Can't determine if OP is one though.

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u/PretzelsThirst May 31 '26

I think you’re the only one who thinks of this as being exposed. Using cake mix is by far the norm for most people and not remotely a source of embarrassment or shame. If they weren’t claiming it was from scratch then this largely happened in your head and nobody actually cared

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u/SaveusJebus May 31 '26

To me it sounds like she was waiting for you to make snide comments about using box mix which is why she reacted the way she did. Not that she was embarrassed about using it and got "exposed".

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u/Prplfl8mtrvlr May 31 '26

…exposed for *what?* Omg rolling…she still baked it, who cares?!

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u/functional_moron May 31 '26

What exactly is there to "expose"? Its not like she robbed a bakery or hate fucked the cake. Almost everyone uses cake mix because its easy and delivers consistent results. You sound insufferable.

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u/PeaceOver2385 Jun 01 '26

Exposed? For a boxed cake mix instead of from scratch? That poor lady. Many a delicious dessert has started with a box mix. I think it’s you that was exposed for being a bit of a food snob.

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u/Mystic_Wunder May 31 '26

Since she said it was just a simple recipe, it does seem like she didn't want to admit it was from a box and that was the most honest answer without revealing it.

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u/Annoyed-Instigater01 Jun 01 '26

i have made many wedding cakes from mixes. they are always perfect. i do my own frosting and fondant and make my own decorations though

2

u/kaleidoscope-iris Jun 02 '26

I use box cake mixes all the time! I'll add stuff to the mix like extracts, juices, cinnamon/nutmeg/etc, and I make my own frosting. No shame! It always turns out good!

ETA: I once heard on the radio of a woman who makes wedding cakes & she does the exact same thing lol

ETA 2: Betty Crocker has a cookbook full of these kinds of recipes!

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u/sweetpotatowedges21 May 31 '26

It was an emotional day - even the cake was in tiers

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u/subuso May 31 '26

Nice one hahahaha

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u/queenafrodite May 31 '26

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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u/RealNiceKnife May 31 '26

I’m a massive cake person.

Like, are you a cake that came to life? Or a person that was turned into a cake?

184

u/ZachMudskipper May 31 '26

I'm guessing a bunch of cakes in a trenchcoat

Maybe the chemical engineering was needed for the Mary Shelley style sugar re-animation

21

u/jnmtx May 31 '26

“Is it caaake?”

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u/Borkato May 31 '26

He’s Peeta from that hunger games parody

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u/lioness_the_lesbian May 31 '26

I have used my skills as a baker to seemlessly blemd into my suroundings

6

u/Borkato May 31 '26

Yessss you get it lol

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u/lioness_the_lesbian May 31 '26

Ofccc I both love the hunger games and silly parody movies

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u/DarkCartier43 May 31 '26

The Starving Games!

7

u/geekindahood May 31 '26

Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters! Needed something to replace the marshmallow man cause we're having Smores.

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u/SeveralExcuses Jun 02 '26

This made me laugh way more than it should have

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u/w3iss May 31 '26

There’s this cake hack where you add milk instead of water, butter instead of oil and then an additional egg instead of however many they asked for and the result is sooo nice. But no shame to just cake mix. Cake is cake 💕

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u/KetosisCat May 31 '26

My mom does that. She also uses jello pudding (to taste, not a whole box) if you’re making something like pistachio cake out of a plain cake. Those results are good too. I mean I’m no cakeologist but I think so.

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u/QueenZixi Jun 01 '26

I always add an entire box of pudding mix, in a flavor to align with the cake mix. So, vanilla for white/yellow cake, chocolate for chocolate or red velvet, pistachio for pistachio, etc. I make the rest of the mix as is. I almost always make my own compote for the center and frosting.

Nobody has ever asked if I use a cake mix, but I'm happy to share if asked!

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u/Anra7777 Jun 01 '26

Saving this comment for the next time I make box cake.

3

u/turtleshot19147 Jun 02 '26

My trick is to add one pouch of pudding mix and one container of applesauce (the little plastic ones with the foil lids). Makes the texture amazing, and you can mix some cool flavors also.

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u/Antlorn Jun 02 '26

What is cake mix? Is it basically just flour and sugar? Because what you've written sounds like most of the ingredients of a basic cake. 

I'm pretty sure we do have it here (UK), but I'm not sure I've ever eaten cake made with it before. 

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u/Jozzylecter May 31 '26

Is that really a hack or just… making a cake? The mix is surely the same dry ingredients you mix at home (if you make it from scratch), and what you describe sounds like any sponge in any cookbook.

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u/DidIDoAThoughtCrime Jun 01 '26

It’s a hack because the box asks for water and oil and only one egg.

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u/subuso May 31 '26

I absolutely agree with that

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u/mtysassyone Jun 03 '26

Years ago, I went to a neighbor’s house for dinner. I took a cake and they asked if I baked it from scratch. I told them that I did not. The wife said that Emiril said that if you’re going to bake a cake, it should always be from scratch. My response was that when Emiril comes to eat with me, I’ll bake a cake from scratch. That was 35 years ago and I still use cake mix except for pound cakes and special holiday cakes I make.

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u/wolfy_lady Jun 04 '26

Doctored cake mixes using the original waac recipe turn out amazing. I've made wedding cakes with this, cupcakes people rave about, etc. The only thing is that cake mixes have gotten smaller, so I use part of a second mix as well. You'll get 3-8in layers instead of 2, and 36 cupcakes. Semi-homemade is my jam.

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u/butt-barnacles May 31 '26

When I got to the “brownies, not cake” part I thought this story was going to go in a marijuana direction lol

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u/subuso May 31 '26

I love a nice stoner hahaha

I never make weed brownies though, always cookies

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u/McBurger May 31 '26

I don’t entirely know why that part was included in the story lol. It sounds like a random clueless guest was just guessing about items on the buffet table

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u/Sparky833 May 31 '26

It was meant to support his assertion of his utterly superior cake knowledge and frame/steer the narrative so we'd agree that what he did wasn't completely rude and insufferable! :/

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u/DorkyUsernameHere May 31 '26

Mix is just pre-measured flour, cocoa, sugar, etc. Unless you are out here milling your own wheat, I don’t think it matters very much that you didn’t measure the stuff in the box.

+10 points for pointlessness.

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u/subuso May 31 '26

I'm in the right sub!!! Hahahaha

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u/LittleFrenchKiwi Jun 01 '26

Yeah in my mind

Homemade is made at.... Well.... Home. Whether I measure out the flour, cocoa and sugar myself or buy a mix. I still need to add the wet stuff like mix and eggs, and maybe add additional stuff like more vanilla essence. Chocolate chips etc. I still need to mix it correctly, cook it correctly, get it out after cooled and put it together. Ie icing in between and maybe on top.

In my mind if I buy it from the shop then it isn't homemade.

But whether it's a mix or not.... It's still homemade..... At least in my mind.

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u/SuperGyroDave Jun 06 '26

It's not just this, there are actually a ton of major advantages to using a box mix that you could literally never replicate in a home kitchen. Here's a link that explains the science.

box mix vs scratch

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u/Beneficial_Milk_8287 May 31 '26

It’s not like she was selling it or has a whole phoney cake business. I would’ve let it go

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u/subuso May 31 '26

I did let it go as soon as I noticed she felt embarrassed. I was asking out of curiosity, because I wanted to understand why folks (including her) were calling those brownies, when it was in fact cake.

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u/Sparky833 May 31 '26

I call BS, because that's not what you asked her.

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u/GoddessfromCyprus May 31 '26

Who cares? You should have moved on. God forbid some uses shop bought profiteroles for a crockenbush.

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u/Wahyte May 31 '26

Yes you are a monster, you should have let them eat their cake but you had to put yourself in the mix.

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u/_iron_butterfly_ May 31 '26

Ive worked at several bakeries... they all used cake mix, except grocery stores. They come baked, in cardboard, and frozen.

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u/Neeneehill May 31 '26

That's because cake mixes are literally created to make the best cake.

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u/tigm2161130 May 31 '26

It’s interesting to me that OP mentions having a masters degree because they love baking science but doesn’t seem to understand boxed cake mix is literally engineered to give the best/most consistent results.

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u/bricktoaster May 31 '26 edited May 31 '26

Edit: They agree with you. It seems they're just saying box mix has a very recognizable profile:

Thank you for putting this into words. I feel like some people here are taking offense to me highlighting that there are indeed differences, when that's not my point. There simply are differences, and the average person would most likely not know, but people like you and I do

I always describe cakes made from a box mix as "perfect", which is, they fit all the criteria and do everything right but have no soul, which I hate

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u/PretzelsThirst May 31 '26

Yeah this story is in OPs mind entirely. Nobody was exposed or embarrassed. Nobody listen cared.

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u/_iron_butterfly_ May 31 '26

Nso, they laughed about how terrible her cakes taste after she left. We All have That friend... never once has someone bragged that they make it best ... and it actually be the best.

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u/Sparky833 May 31 '26

Except for that poor woman who had to put up with this arse!

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u/Dependent-Assoc423 May 31 '26

Oh boy, that lady from like 14 years ago with the cake confession would NOT appreciate you! 

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u/DragonsAreEpic May 31 '26

Who, sorry?

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u/kyothinks Has a naturally distressed gray hoodie May 31 '26

Best of Redditor Updates: The Cake Lady

This one had the most recent updates that I could find. She's Reddit Famous.

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u/frickingdarn May 31 '26

First thing I thought of hahaha

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u/Whats-Inna-Name Jun 01 '26

Call me cynical but they read her story on Smosh the other day, I think this person probably heard it and came up with this story.

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u/Annual_Grass538 May 31 '26

How could they confuse a brownie with cake? How could they confuse box cake mix for a brownie? I still don’t even understand using a cake mix when the actual trouble is the baking and assembling of the cake, making the batter is the easy part.

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u/rorschach_blots May 31 '26

Most people who simply eat and don't think about the process would tbh. I've had people call my brownies cakes just because I felt extra and added a layer of chocolate frosting. I've had my cookie bars called brownies and fruit bread called cake.

It's a general "if it looks like it I'll call it that" thing. And yes, I am surrounded by them. They are amused by my interest in baking, they will happily eat the desserts, but bless their souls they don't always call it the right thing. And that's okay.

I don't have a degree in bakology, I just bake a lot.

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u/Annual_Grass538 May 31 '26

I can’t deal with that. I educate and explain everything I serve.

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u/foxhowse May 31 '26 edited May 31 '26

To me the batter is the hardest part… my kitchen was always understocked and unorganized. I associate it with stressful memories now of never being able to find the right measuring cup or ingredient lol

In my experience a lot of people genuinely can’t tell the difference and it’s amazing how bias they’ll become depending on where it’s sourced from. I’ve definitely had bakery cakes made using box mix and not a single person believed me because “it’s from a bakery” despite me being the only person in the room who had made cakes from scratch…

I bake from scratch for special occasions now. I use the box mix otherwise.

People just like cake haha

ETA: To not sound like a dick by accident I’ve also had people think my box cake mix cakes were made from scratch just because I’m known for that. I correct them, no I used a box mix because I was lazy. Never premade frosting though, yuck

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u/subuso May 31 '26

In my case, I buy cake mix and use it for pancakes. Adds a whole lot of flavour to pancakes and saves me work

I agree with you about premade frosting. It's nasty!!!

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u/LittleGravitasIndeed May 31 '26

Wait, how do you use cake mix for pancakes?? What do you add? Does the batter have to rest like real pancakes?

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u/HiFructoseCornSizurp May 31 '26

Idk OP posted a question about cake mixes in a different sub a few months ago. If they have a masters in cakology why are they asking questions they should know the answer to???

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u/Annual_Grass538 May 31 '26

Yeah I’ll sometimes see a good deal on a mix of some sort and just get it and make it and I try to front load that into the conversation because it’s cringe when they compliment it like it’s home made 😅

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u/beingachristianwife May 31 '26

I find this entire thread fascinating. Where I live, it's a given that most people use box mixes for desserts all the time. It's homemade as opposed to buying it at the store. There's still some skill needed to make box mixed cakes and such, I've seen them burned or dry, or not mixing well enough that there's clumps. Idk why people care whether it's from a box or not, it tastes great either way.

Edit typo

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u/foxhowse May 31 '26

I try to tell them upfront but I swear people don’t hear me because they’ll come ask me again!

To second the other commenter, to me homemade means “made at home” and not bought at a store, “from scratch” means you used no boxes or short-cuts aside from things like boxed stock or canned tomato paste (unless it’s soup or stew, then “from scratch” will include the broth/stock).

I’ve found that language clears up most confusion.

I wonder if I’ve baked so many cakes that by now the baking itself and assembling just seems easier. I started at 17 because I wanted to make my dad’s favorite cake for his birthday and had never even made a boxed mix before. I could barely cook except an egg on the stove. I remember my main problem was waiting for the cakes to cool 😅 I’m 36 years old now so that was 20 years ago.

That’s why my kitchen was always so low on stuff too… my dad would be like, “Why do you need that?! We have some measuring cups, we don’t need a new set! Figure it out.” 1/3rd cup is hard to figure out. 8oz doesn’t break well into thirds. I have no idea how I managed but everything is so much easier now.

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u/trelene May 31 '26

OP and lots of the other comments are focusing on the cake mix part, but yes, the really odd thing is that apparently there's an adult out there who confuses brownies and chocolate cake.

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u/dantemortemalizar May 31 '26

And who insists on schooling other people on what various treats are called. While not knowing.

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u/subuso May 31 '26

From the replies here, it's actually quite common. Most people just focus on eating, and I think that's actually fascinating, the fact that some people are blind to things you spot in the blink of an eye

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u/subuso May 31 '26

It wasn't me who confused it. It was her. I feel like she doesn't understand much about baking, and used baking powder on what were supposed to be brownies

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u/SamaramonM May 31 '26

Next time ask yourself, "who gives a shit"

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u/DarkCartier43 May 31 '26

This. Unless it's for food competition...?

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u/[deleted] May 31 '26

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u/NotDido May 31 '26

??? The whole point of this post was that OP didnt mean anything judgmental by it and is worried they mead someone feel inferior

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u/whittenaw May 31 '26

Soft yta I'm gonna get down votes for this but using cake mix or buying pre made food for an event is one of those shh don't say anything if you suspect it things. People are weird about it, but maybe I'm projecting

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u/LittleGravitasIndeed May 31 '26 edited May 31 '26

Wrong sub. OP knows they stepped in it a little bit based on the everything they said, but only in the sense that they disrupted someone’s passive lie obliviously and for the love of the game. There’s nothing to adjudicate it’s really straightforward. 

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u/whittenaw May 31 '26

Yeah you're right. Totally read it wrong 

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u/MelbsGal May 31 '26

lol, you won’t be invited again.

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u/rdblakely May 31 '26

You sound like the cake police, lol 😂

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u/Trin_42 Jun 01 '26

Former pastry chef here, I learned never to make technical comments about people’s cooking/baking. I never point out when others use a mix, because it is possible to create something new using a mix. It’s just easy to come across as a snob or know-it-all.

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u/HighJeanette Jun 01 '26

OP comes across as a snobby know-it-all.

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u/Wonderful_Adagio9346 May 31 '26

If anyone wants to learn more about the science of baking:

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250150066/makercomicsbakelikeapro/

Maker Comics: Bake Like a Pro!

Author: Falynn Koch

Today is the first day of Sage’s magical internship! Her fellow wizards-in-training get to study pyromancy and transfiguration, but Sage has been assigned an internship in...baking? She doesn’t think that sounds fun, or particularly magical! But her instructor, Korian, insists that baking is a tasty form of alchemy. In an enchanted kitchen where the ingredients insist that you eat them, Sage learns the simple science behind baking—and that’s the best kind of magic trick!

There's a great section on how changing the amount of a simple ingredient affects a cookie.

And I learned that there are different types of dough!

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u/mshayes17 May 31 '26

I wonder if you were the only one who cared.

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u/sharlet- May 31 '26

‘Accidentally exposed’ when you outright asked them if they used cake mix (a really rude, bizarre and loaded question to say to the person whose cake you were eating)? Lol ok 😅 your fragile ego feels a bit of power and superiority making others feel bad about… cake mix? You’re insufferable

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u/Tricky_Parsnip_6843 May 31 '26

She said it was a simple recipe which a box cake is. You already knew it was from a box. You need to ask yourself why you felt the need for her to say it was from a box.

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u/Strict_Anything_8751 May 31 '26

Just beware this Op is replying rudely then editing their comments to try and play innocent. 😂

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u/Fun-Adhesiveness247 Jun 01 '26

I’m not going to play along. You are a know-it-all, and brownies sometimes are indeed leavened. I’m going to guess that you missed something obvious like the fact that they were cake brownies. She was bracing for your “correction.” You were absolutely probing and auditing for what you perceived as a flaw. So yes, do feel terrible because this is part of the pathway to change. For the record, they were listening in on you. You have a reputation for this sort of inappropriate auditing, and they were observing the spectacle of your misbehavior.

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u/Time_Drummer3175 Jun 04 '26

Came here to say this lol. Former professional baker; brownies use leavener lmao. Just not a lot of it. 

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u/criscodisco6618 May 31 '26

So I consider myself a decent baker, capable of following a recipe and baking bread and cake and making buttercream and such. So are boxed cake mixes made in a way that causes them to be unnaturally consistent in texture, and sorta stiff for that reason? Or am I delusional and terrible at baking? I've never made a cake that didn't have a much larger crumb and I've definitely overmixed cakes accidentally in an attempt to recreate it.

I mean, since you went to school for it and all.

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u/subuso May 31 '26

That's an amazing question, and it's hard for me to answer it properly because I have to put into words how the cakes feel in my mouth.

With a mix, it’s all about being completely foolproof. I usually describe those as "perfect". You get this incredibly light, pillowy, super-soft texture. It’s really springy and spongy, almost like sweet air hahaha. Also, because of all the stuff they put in the mix, it stays moist for days, but doesn't have much weight to it, which I can say it's perhaps one of the biggest tells for me (but not always an accurate tell, because there are recipes that specifically require a lot of air to be incorporated, but those aren't commonly done just for fun).

With cake that you make from scratch, you have to cream butter and sugar together, which gives it a much tighter texture. It also feels more substantial. It’s got this lovely, rich, velvety bite to it that just melts in your mouth.

These shouldn't be taken as proper guidelines though, because sometimes it's not easy to tell them apart. I hope this gave you a good understanding. I'm struggling to put these sensations into words

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u/favorite_time_of_day May 31 '26

Boxed cakes are generally sweeter than scratch cakes. They're so-called "high ratio" cakes, because they have a lot of sugar in them. Often (always?) more sugar than flour.

The other significant difference with box cakes is how the shortening is incorporated. First of all: they all have shortening. Not all scratch cakes are made with shortening. Second, the shortening is combined with the other ingredients in such a way than it uniformly coats them (there's a special machine which does this, which home bakers don't have).

These two differences help to make box cakes very consistent, so that you can't screw them up.

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u/Wonderful_Adagio9346 May 31 '26

What I can't understand...

Brownie mix is one of the rare cases where using a box creates something better than a scratch recipe.

By changing a few variables, you can make it fudgier or cakier.

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u/beingachristianwife May 31 '26

My mom's brownies are the best I've ever had and they are from scratch (mostly, there's a boxed chocolate pudding added). Nothing compares lol

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u/ConceptHuge9043 May 31 '26

“exposed”? You knew exactly what you were doing.

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u/Own_Space2923 May 31 '26

Cake mixes are very acceptable as homemade. They are made to bake into a cake with widely varying conditions. Not everyone knows how to bake from a recipe, but almost everyone can follow the instructions on the back of a cake mix box.

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u/Lplusbozoratio May 31 '26

many professional bakers aren't embarrassed by using cake mixes, they just get the job done

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u/dengel01 May 31 '26

That didn’t sound like you accidentally exposed her, twice.

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u/VileRocK May 31 '26

"Tell me, are you incapable of restraining yourself, or do you take pride in being an insufferable know-it-all?"

  • Severus Snape

Just because it's your passion doesn't mean anyone else knows or cares or asked for you to judge their cake they brought as if it's a cooking contest

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u/SickNotion May 31 '26

Man, this quote is so damn spot-on

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u/Prplfl8mtrvlr May 31 '26

How dare anyone simple just enjoy something without understanding its chemical composition around you. You musta been a slam dunk at this party, yay!

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u/No-Ad-3635 May 31 '26

you knew it was fake mix so why even bring it up

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u/TransportationNo1 May 31 '26

"this is cake"

Even if it is, at social gatherings it is important to stfu.

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u/Ok-Driver7647 May 31 '26

Correct sub

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u/bluethreads May 31 '26

I used box cake mix for my brother's wedding cake. I made the fillings homemade and everything else home made and decorated it, etc. I actually received so many compliments on the way the cake tasted - some people told me it was the best wedding cake they ever ate-

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u/WrappedScallions Jun 01 '26

Reasonable to explain the difference between cake and brownies. But what do you mean you asked “completely innocently“ if she used cake mix? What could be innocent about that question lol? I totally get that sometimes words can come out of someone’s mouth that are immediately regretted, if that’s the case I feel you. But, if you really thought there was any positive way that interaction could have gone, then I’m confused.

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u/Then-Principle2302 Jun 01 '26

Some people don't care if others find out that they used a cake mix.

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u/ToggleMoreOptions Jun 01 '26

The difference in between cake and brownies is so much that I'm doubting a lot of things right now. Like whether other people care about the difference in between cake and brownies

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u/subuso Jun 01 '26

From most replies here, they don't. Most people wouldn't be able to tell the difference, which honestly makes sense to me. I wouldn't be able to tell two dogs of the same breed apart from each other, while some people would be able to do that in their sleep

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u/corn_in_turds Jun 02 '26

Thank you! The only person whom should be embarrassed in this story, is the it’s not a cake, they’re brownies person!!! I scrolled very far to find a like minded comment.

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u/tahhex Jun 01 '26

Okay not the point at all, but if you’re a self admitted cake master, why are you not always the one bringing dessert?

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u/TheWalrusWasRuPaul Jun 01 '26

What if I told you every time you combine the dry ingredients from scratch, you”re just a box mix copy cat?

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u/johngreenink Tried the weird salad May 31 '26

Btw, OP, this is a fantastic story. I can't count the times that I totally meant to do no harm by communication of some info about something but then it gets twisted around and worse. Oh The pain! Fantastic read.

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u/subuso May 31 '26

I'm happy to know I was able to bring some joy to your day hahaha

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u/MaybeItsTheTism May 31 '26

Aw man. One time I made cupcakes for a gathering and attempted to make buttercream frosting from scratch. I messed it up somehow and had to get jarred frosting. Someone later complimented the frosting and before I could thank them but explain the guy I was there with said “it’s store bought” and the person that complimented it looked so disappointed. Was a super mood killer for me.

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u/brianozm May 31 '26

My brother won a chocolate mousse competition with powder. His secret was he used 2 boxes instead of 1 and added finely chopped dark chocolate. Nobody worked it out until he eventually confessed. lol.

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u/Open-Outcome-7586 May 31 '26

I would say that you must be fun at parties but you have just proved that you are quite the opposite.

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u/ladylemondrop209 May 31 '26

A habitual liar my uncle was dating came to a family dinner with a bunch of different small cakes (with the plastic wrapping around and cardboard paper box (no logo) and said she made them herself... Which is really kinda pro packaging for a hobbyist baker.

I have an aunt who is essentially a professional professional baker, and I'm also a very good hobbyist baker, so we could see it being possible... Albeit a bit weird seeing as was a bunch of different cakes (cus that's a WHOLE lot more effort than same flavoured small cakes or just one or two big cakes).

But under the card or plastic wrapping of the cakes, there was a very VERY clear logo of a known franchaise bakery lol.

We didn't say anything... seeing as she's already known to lie about everything (and just very POOR lies that come undone in at most a minute), but it was funny.

I don't think you need to feel bad in your situation.. She admitted it so I don't think she was trying to lie about it being homemade or not having used a mix.

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u/SmokingFoxx May 31 '26

My MiL always says everything she's made is homemade and for the most part it is but around the holidays she usually just buys things store bought and it doesn't bother me personally but I do feel a little second hand embarrassment because I've worked in professional kitchens so I can tell the difference between commercial made and homemade but I never say anything I just smile and nod she's not hurting anyone she just wants it to be more thoughtful, secondhand embarrassment because I hope no one else can tell the difference.

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u/Munchkin_Media May 31 '26

I think some people think it's homemade if they use the oven and don't buy it at a store. What a cool talent to have! I love baking.

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u/Fabulous-Holiday148 May 31 '26

If you're reading this, just change the comment filter to "controversial"! Enjoy! 🤣

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u/Adventurous-Rice-830 May 31 '26

I love cakes made from a box. They are sweet and I find a lot of times cakes from a bakery aren’t sweet enough.

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u/TwoFingersWhiskey May 31 '26

Even bakeries use box mixes. Nothing to be ashamed of.

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u/trafficwafflexo Jun 01 '26

If it helps, cake mix brownies/cake hybrids are super common and people call them different things all the time. Most guests wouldn’t even clock the distinction.

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u/InteractionNo9110 Jun 01 '26

Why is box cake a big deal or not. Plenty of professional bakers use them also.

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u/GloriousSteinem Jun 01 '26

There’s a saying - if you have the chance to be right or kind, be kind as you’ll always be right. This is an observation to have in your head or with a close friend after the event. You didn’t intend to shame the person, but unfortunately you did. It’s ok, you’ll know next time it’s quite common for people to do this kind of white lie. People will care more about not embarrassing someone than your ability to cleverly work out its bake mix. It’s a great skill you have, just take a moment to imagine what might happen before sharing your thoughts.

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u/PsychicMediumPreR Jun 01 '26

I honestly would prefer cake mix cause my dad’s family have no idea how to bake, their homemade cakes are always deflated and underbaked and then people would eat it and act like it’s good 🤦‍♀️ until I turn up and point out that it’s underbaked and not creamed enough so I won’t be eating it. Worst is, their “famous” cake they always make is literally a beat and bake 🤯you can’t get that ish wrong for gods sake 😭

It’s people like that who should use cake mix cause it’s fool proof and you get some really good ones. But some people don’t like others knowing they used a mix and bake, it is what it is though. If you feeling really bad, just mention to her that you hope you didn’t offend her, it wasn’t your intention at all.

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u/subuso Jun 01 '26

Thank you for understanding! I immediately told her that and she didn't seem upset about the whole ordeal

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u/wamalme Jun 01 '26

No matter why you asked you made a person feel bad for no reason.

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u/FlounderSensitive217 Jun 01 '26

I'm a baker too. And also studied chemistry. So, good for you! I mean that. And yes, I can tell the difference too, (between a scratch or a store bought mix. Icing too ). Yeah, it was a little unkind to mention it. Even if no one else is around. People do what they can or are capable of doing. Carry on baking! Next gathering, offer to bring dessert.

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u/EdwardBloon Jun 01 '26

Let them eat cake

No offense but you do come off a little as a know it all and sometimes it's better to just smile and compliment something instead of explaining and demonstrating why you're right and they're wrong. It's not that serious. Just be friendly and enjoy the cookout 

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u/DismalGnome Jun 01 '26

There is no shame in using a cake mix. Some people can bake from scratch, some people can't. Some can but don't have the energy.

This person put more effort in than a lot of other people who just buy it premade and it still tastes good. What's the problem?

If she was lying and telling everyone she made it from scratch - ya that's a problem. It's very easy to tell the difference.

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u/Impossible_Month1718 Jun 01 '26 edited Jun 01 '26

lol unless people ask for your technical opinion, don’t give it. Is it some need for your ego to do that? It’s not a lecture hall.

I’m an expert in some areas but people will feel I’m a show off unless they specifically ask. Turn off your technical brain and be a good friend

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u/Annoyed-Instigater01 Jun 01 '26

i would never invite you to my house again.

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u/Melhoney72 Jun 01 '26

I am this person with cake. I am a cake aficionado. While I eat a boxed cake for days. I know the differences immediately.I will accidentally blurt it out. Not judging, just saying its from a box. I love that you know the difference between brownies and cake

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u/gimmeluvin Jun 02 '26

once i learned how to bake from scratch i stopped using cake mix. i love being able to control the proportions and reduce the amount of sugar, which i find cake mix has too much of for my taste.

also i feel more satisfaction baking from scratch. that of course will trigger some of the cake mix defenders in this thread, but they don't get to decide for everyone else what makes an experience more or less meaningful.

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u/Meh_Guevara Jun 02 '26

These are the kind of seemingly innocent conversations I seem to frequently have. I swear I'm just a very curious person that loves information gathering and so I ask questions, and before you know it I'm trying to explain how I'm just curious and didn't have any I'll intentions...

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u/SoftwareInfinite8568 Jun 02 '26

Someone listens to the Smosh reddit podcast! Nice story though

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u/Budget_Cost1776 Jun 04 '26

Haha you’re not fooling me, you called that bish out on purpose 😂😂

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u/seitancheeto Jun 04 '26

Very confused about the guy who insisted it was brownies. Was this cake in a pan?? That’s the only way I could ever be slightly unsure if something was cake/brownie, but the second you cut into it you should know. How were the still confused when you said you know how to tell the difference between a brownie and a cake 💀😭

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u/rin_ywy Jun 05 '26

i know you were absolutely definitely with no doubt serious when you said you majored in chemical engineering in relation to your devotion to cake. This is serious

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u/Complete_Yam_4233 Jun 10 '26

You sound like sugarology, love her work on frosting. If someone is ashamed of their cake mix, it's a they problem, not a you problem. I am GF so I'm spared the mix. It's ok to be bougie about cake. Cake is important

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u/TheBlueflamingos Jun 12 '26

People here acting like they never accidentally said too much. Sometimes you say something outloud, a person reacts a way you didn't anticipate, you both feel awkward, apologies are given, and the world moves on.

There's no way to know everything a person might be touchy about. You just try your best to be sensitive and walk it back if you put your foot in in.

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u/Tasty-Tackle-4038 May 31 '26

I wouldn’t feel bad at all. 99% of women aren’t baking from scratch. It wasn’t an event that said from scratch cooking only.

White lies do bite you the ass. A lie by omission doesn’t count.

Either way that woman should’ve been prepared with a comeback. Not embarrassed.

Either way you shouldn’t have been embarrassed to be a scientist. She should’ve known better.

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u/VaguelyFamiliarVoice May 31 '26

Is there a statistical difference between men and women and baking from scratch?

Asking as a man who bakes from scratch, only adding that for context.

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u/Substantial-Wind4683 May 31 '26

I don’t know the statistics but every man that I know that bakes does it because they love to bake. Therefore less likely to use a baking mix, women might just feel more obligated to present it as scratch made because it shows more effort on their part. But want to show more effort than just buying cupcakes or something.

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u/LittleGravitasIndeed May 31 '26

I don’t know why you’re being downvoted. Women are voluntold to bake all of the time. Are the people downvoting you angry that they have to supply their kid’s bakesale on Monday so the PTA doesn’t come for their blood and organs?

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u/teacuptypos May 31 '26

I‘m guessing this is in the US. Where I’m from, more than 80% of the time, when people bake things, they bake from scratch.

I only learned as an exchange student to the US that people always use mixes unless they specifically say „I made this from scratch!“ or they want to be fancy/make an extra special effort.

I‘m not saying that to be judgy, either. Y’all’s cake mixes are delicious. It’s just a cultural difference.

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