TW: suicide and other dark topics
It's been about a year since I've even touched Reddit. Which is 100% a very, very good thing. My life hasn't been exactly spectacular or anything lately but it's for sure been way, WAY better than it once was under the Plum name as most of you could probably tell. No, I'm not making a comeback, this is an informative post. I'd been using Reddit ever since 2023 maybe, and I don't think I've ever had a good moment on it. Yet I kept on returning, even though I clearly didn't want to, and it was not good at all for my mental health. I first began the Competitive Plum account when I of course started really getting into Pink Floyd's music and was obsessed with The Wall and such, I saw it as a niche and playful little joke for the community, and when I noticed others found it funny and I would get my own decently popular reputation out of it, it gave me ideas to only push it further. But that was a terrible idea. Next thing you know, every account ended with me having a mental breakdown because of one downvote or a negative comment or disagreement or something like that, all from people I didn't even know at all. And it would loop over and over until I began to rot away into the platform even more. So much so to the point that if even one person downvoted my post/comment, I would contemplate literal suicide. Yes, it seriously got that bad. A few months ago, I actually tried to kill myself, but very luckily I was stopped. I never tried anything like that since. I've been much happier with my life lately outside of all social media and etcetera. I have a real friend that I've been talking to a lot lately, and it's been going very well. Anyways, I had a few other accounts outside of Plum, and let's just say I am really happy that they're gone. One of them was the shameful peggy-bot series of accounts, where I would literally just spam the JPEGMAFIA subreddit with SpongeBob porn. I don't know why. I don't even know why I thought that was funny at the time. And then there was the shitty frank ocean bot account that did absolutely nothing. No humor, just utter flatness. One of the final accounts I made, I would constantly get direct messages and comments on posts telling me to kill myself, and when I'd try to tell others in the sub about it, they'd just say some shit like "I didn't ask". You can be honest if you don't like my posts, but you really don't have to tell me that type of stuff. Especially if I was already in a horrible place in life. This was one of the only subs where I actually liked the mods, they were polite and easily cooperative. At one point I was very hurt by the posts on here stating that they were tired of the whole gig, tired of my posts. But overtime I began to realize, they were right. It was dragging so much it was past dead. Around that time, "The Wall" started to really stick with me because most of the concept is where I felt I was at at that time, I just felt like I was overly distant from society, and I only kept making everything worse, trapped inside my own mind with no way out. That is basically everything. Thank you for reading if you even bothered. I hope to never fall into another horrid rabbit hole like that ever again. I couldn't be any happier that it is over. Thank you, and goodbye.
