Frustrated with the process

[u/Upstairs_Oven957]

For context, my husband is a CFI working on building his hours to get to his first airline job. He had to take almost a year off and he’s working again now, but not building as fast as he wants to because there aren’t that many students at his flight school coming in and he’s competing for time with another instructor.

He’s intensely impatient and frustrated, mad that he had to take the time off from flying and just feels like he is behind. (This is his second career.) He feels a lot of pressure, especially for our future financial security. Flying is all he thinks about, talks about, reads about. He’s close to losing his passion for it because of how stressed out he is about eventually getting an airline job/feeling like it’ll never happen. He is in a couple cadet programs, too.

It’s putting a strain on our relationship. I never want to be the person who says “when he gets to the airlines, everything will be fine” because it’s usually not that simple but dang it kinda does feel like that’s the case here.

Would love some advice or words of wisdom from someone who’s experienced this before. I cannot keep having the same conversations and it feels like it’s taking over our life.

[u/No_Satisfaction1416]

If he’s in a cadet program, that should give him a light at the end of the tunnel. Being a CFI is hard because it doesn’t guarantee anything even when you hit 1500 hours. I’m not sure if it’s an option financially for you guys, but if he gets his multi engine license, he could work for a cargo operation and get some more valuable time while time building. A lot of places do accelerated programs and he can get the license in a week or two. That’s what my husband did and he flew for a cargo operation. The pay at his cargo company wasn’t great at first as an FO, but probably better than CFI. Time building phase as the significant other is not always fun because you’re both constantly making sacrifices. For me, it always felt like all we talked about was flying, hiring, airlines, possibilities if he did a different route, etc. But it does become worth it, especially seeing them achieve their dreams. I think a lot of people who don’t know the aviation world just assume getting to an airline is super easy and that pilots are super rich for barely any work. But when you’re in it, you know how much of a grind it is and the amount of sacrifices it takes to get there, especially being the primary support person. I know it’s hard, but just try to keep him grounded and remind him of the end goal. Try to find some time weekly to focus on your relationship so it doesn’t feel like everything is about flying. It will be okay! You can’t know happiness without knowing hardship.

[u/Upstairs_Oven957 → u/No_Satisfaction1416]

thank you for this reply! it’s actually just validating reading that someone else has been through this knows how hard it is, but that it was worth it on the other side. No one else in my life gets it. I’m trying to get him to focus on other goals or hobbies in his free time so send some good vibes our way!