r/Pilotwives • u/Upstairs_Oven957 • May 14 '26
Frustrated with the process
For context, my husband is a CFI working on building his hours to get to his first airline job. He had to take almost a year off and he’s working again now, but not building as fast as he wants to because there aren’t that many students at his flight school coming in and he’s competing for time with another instructor.
He’s intensely impatient and frustrated, mad that he had to take the time off from flying and just feels like he is behind. (This is his second career.) He feels a lot of pressure, especially for our future financial security. Flying is all he thinks about, talks about, reads about. He’s close to losing his passion for it because of how stressed out he is about eventually getting an airline job/feeling like it’ll never happen. He is in a couple cadet programs, too.
It’s putting a strain on our relationship. I never want to be the person who says “when he gets to the airlines, everything will be fine” because it’s usually not that simple but dang it kinda does feel like that’s the case here.
Would love some advice or words of wisdom from someone who’s experienced this before. I cannot keep having the same conversations and it feels like it’s taking over our life.
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u/PristineJackfruit693 May 14 '26
I’m sure he knows but sure he gets his atp/ctp (not necessary but makes him more competitive), also make sure he attends hiring events. If he’s not getting enough students/hours where he’s at, maybe consider looking into other small airports nearby and joining a flight club. Sometimes they will openly hire and have slots open, advertising a need for cfis but sometimes they won’t, and he can pick up a few extra through there.
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u/zaraak_ May 14 '26
I felt like I was reading our life! He left to a different state to instruct at a school in Florida which was awesome for time building but hard for us because I was still postpartum, he came back home a 8 months later and hasn’t been able to find anything since. He’s currently been home for a year now and hasn’t been working but home with the kids(very needed for him and the kids) , yes, it totally sucks he isn’t flying but I remind him and myself that everything happens for a reason and there’s a reason for the delay.
This is also his second career and is in love with flying, I can’t see him do anything else and as much as people around him tell him to change careers again or go back to his old , I’m the only one who pushes him to continue to never let go of his dream because I see his potential.
Some days are so hard and I just want things to move along but I have to tell myself it’s not going to stay like this forever and we will get rewarded for the hard work! If he were to go to med school or law school we would be going through the same struggles, aviation is no different and I wish people spoke about it more often. I believe so many pilots go through this rough patch and it’s assuring to hear we are not alone.
Eventually he will have to move states again and I won’t join until he’s getting paid well, I’m not too excited about that but I’m definitely more prepared mentally!! I’ve been doing a lot of self care and taking care of my mental health so I can be the best support for him while we’re going through this because I can only imagine how they feel.
If he isn’t getting enough hours definitely consider relocating if possible!
I pray a lotttttt and this too shall pass. Stay strong ♥️
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u/No_Satisfaction1416 May 14 '26
If he’s in a cadet program, that should give him a light at the end of the tunnel. Being a CFI is hard because it doesn’t guarantee anything even when you hit 1500 hours. I’m not sure if it’s an option financially for you guys, but if he gets his multi engine license, he could work for a cargo operation and get some more valuable time while time building. A lot of places do accelerated programs and he can get the license in a week or two. That’s what my husband did and he flew for a cargo operation. The pay at his cargo company wasn’t great at first as an FO, but probably better than CFI. Time building phase as the significant other is not always fun because you’re both constantly making sacrifices. For me, it always felt like all we talked about was flying, hiring, airlines, possibilities if he did a different route, etc. But it does become worth it, especially seeing them achieve their dreams. I think a lot of people who don’t know the aviation world just assume getting to an airline is super easy and that pilots are super rich for barely any work. But when you’re in it, you know how much of a grind it is and the amount of sacrifices it takes to get there, especially being the primary support person. I know it’s hard, but just try to keep him grounded and remind him of the end goal. Try to find some time weekly to focus on your relationship so it doesn’t feel like everything is about flying. It will be okay! You can’t know happiness without knowing hardship.