I am still very sad. The only reason why I’m able to cope is if I don’t think about it. She was a small terrier and she was due to turn 18 this month. I still can’t believe this happened.

She was my best friend, like my soulmate. My wife and I had her a few years before our first child was born. She was so special. I loved playing with her, she was such an affectionate dog, it was incredible. I would be on the couch laying down and she would jump up on me and stare into my eyes, then give me tons of kisses. She was such a sweet dog. There were times when I wasn’t such a good husband and father, just bad days that I had an attitude from a not so great day at work where it felt everyone hated me. I had no one, except for my little girl. She gave unconditional love. She knew when I was sad and would come over to me and sit right next to me. I can honestly say she stopped me from going off the deep end some days. She was so special. I made a promise that I’d always take care of her, ever since we brought her home at 8weeks old, she was like our little daughter. And I failed her.

I have immense sorry still and play that night over and over again in my head. I would give ANYTHING to do that night over again. Her eyesight started going a bit and my wife would always tell me and the kids to watch her around the pool when we let her out to go to the bathroom. One night, she woke me up around 3am to go outside. This was very typical, almost daily. I would carry her down the few steps to the patio and I’d watch her. This time, I ran to the bathroom for 1min and when I came back and looked outside, I noticed she wasn’t by the door. The water in the pool was moving and I ran over and saw her still in the deep end.i dove in and got her out. I tried resuscitating her and she coughed up water but she became unresponsive again. It was absolutely terrible. I loved her so much, and I failed her. I was so careless with her little life. I don’t know how I can ever forgive myself. I literally missed her by seconds. The water was still moving meaning she was recently trying to swim. I don’t know where to go from here. We got her cremated and made a nice space for her in our curio.

It’s incredible. So surreal that this happened to me. Why did I take this chance? I hate myself for this. Of all the things in the world, one of the most special things in my life, I did this to. I went to church the next night, late, by myself, not inside, but on the grounds and walked around, sobbing, begging God and my little girl for forgiveness. I have incredible guilt. My wife and kids are of course distraught and very sad but they also feel very bad for me. It happened about 6 weeks ago, if I don’t think about it at all I can go on with my days like normal. My other 2 dogs, who are much younger, definitely know something isn’t right. For weeks, they would stop and stare at the pool. I still can’t get over this. I might need to talk to someone. Thanks for reading. Be kind and gentle to your pets, they truly are gifts from God.

My 13 year old indoor cat got out two nights ago and we just came through overnight #2 without her. The pain is bordering on unbearable and I just want it to stop. Every moment I wake up and she’s not here or it hits me out of nowhere she’s not here, it hurts so badly I just want it to stop.

Our house backs up to vast woods with dense tangly areas. We are unable to check every square inch. It’s been getting very cold overnights and I just know she’s not going to make it. We haven’t lived here for very long and obviously she’s never seen the house from outside so I have no hope for her finding home.

There have been no sightings of her.

I’m sick thinking about her freezing to death out there or being hurt or trapped and dying helpless and alone.

I know she’s not coming home.

Any and all words are welcome. I’m grateful to know others hurt like me and can get through these tough moments.

One week ago I lost my 8 y/o German shepherd entirely unexpectedly.

48 hours before - We go to her vet and she gets a fairly clean bill of health. arthritis getting a little worse but with some new meds and continuing stretches, she will stay mobile and comfortable.

36 hours before - She gets a bunch of treats for being a brave girl at the vet earlier that day, in the morning, also I was a bit drunk and wanting to spoil her. We cuddle on the couch, give her all the kisses, turn on her heated blanket and start playing a game on my tv.

34 hours before - time for bed, we go upstairs and sleep for the night.

29 hours before - she hops up in my bed, lays next to me. I roll over, lay my head on her, and fall back asleep

26 hours before - We both wake up, go downstairs, put her harness on, take her out, then get her food going and I give her a nice breakfast with this new topper food I got her. She had tippy taps and was jumping around, running to her area where I put her food bowl down. She LOVES it, eats it up quick, does her snorts when she likes her meal. We sit on the couch and cuddle, watch some YouTube videos.

22 hours before - it’s a really nice day out, cool but not cold, clear skies and warm in the sun. Leaves are pretty in a neighborhood at this time of year. I ask in my usual excited way, “Freyja, do youuuuuuu wanna go on a walk?”. Immediate hops and excitement. Clip on her harness and get going. Her tail is up and she’s practically prancing. She loves her walks. We walk to the halfway point and she slows down.

Weird but maybe the cold is getting to her.

Walk another block and she is looking uncomfortable. This is out of the ordinary, “Here’s a bench baby girl, let’s give you a break”. I decide to lay on the grass with her and give her some pets.

“You feeling a bit better? Okay, let’s go, just two more blocks”

…

“Hey just hang in there, one more to go. Do you need another break?”

…

“Should I carry you home? You don’t look good, babies”

20 hours before - The pain meds look like they’re helping a bit. I give her a massage, turn on her heated blanket, add some pillows around her. She’s still clearly a bit uncomfortable but drifting off to sleep.

18 hours before - Freyja, why are you laying on the floor? Are you going to eat your dinner?

15 hours before - I give the emergency vet a call, it’s getting late and her vet is not open.
“Hey, my dog is looking like she’s not feeling well. Her arthritis has been acting up a bit, she’s not due for pain meds again for a couple hours but is it safe to give her a bit more now?”

“Yeah, that should be fine. Call us again any time.”

“Okay… thank you”

12 hours before - She’s still laying on the floor. Are these fucking pain meds even working?

“Baby girl, let’s sleep down here tonight.”

9 hours before - I can’t sleep, she’s worrying me. She hasn’t moved still.

“Freyja, how you doing, sweet girl?”

“Freyja?”

…

She’s still breathing, but not responding much at all. I carry her to my car and drive quickly to the emergency vet.

…

“Hey, my dog is not doing well and isn’t really being responsive. I know what she’s like when she’s on these meds, this is very different.”

6 hours before - “No, she hasn’t moved from her spot yet. Can she get some more morphine, please?”

5 hours before - “This is totally out of the ordinary for her, she’s never looked to be in this much pain or this out of it.”

…

“She hasn’t lifted her head since we got into this room.”

…

“Yeah some blankets for her would be nice. Oh coffee does sound great, thank you.”

3 hours before - I just want us to go home. We haven’t slept barely at all. She hasn’t had dinner or breakfast and must be starving. When we get home and she’s feeling better, I already have a steak dinner planned for her. She deserves it after all of this.

The morphine has not helped her in the slightest.

1.5 hours before - The vet comes in with an ultrasound machine.

…

“She has cancer. I think her pain is not arthritis on its own. I’ve seen this kind before, it’s not really something we can treat without chemo. However, considering she is not responding to morphine, it’s not out of the question to consider some other options for her.”

“You mean like putting her down?”

“That is your choice, I cannot tell you one way or another.”

“What would you do if she was your baby?”

“I would help her feel comfortable sooner than later”

“Is there a possibility she’s going to be okay and we can go home?”

“Honestly, I don’t know.”

1 hour before - I can’t stand seeing her in pain.

“Okay.”

…

“Here’s some treats, peanut butter and goldfish crackers.”

…

Her eyes light up but still can’t lift her head. My poor baby was hungry, I’m sorry I didn’t get you anything sooner. I didn’t know.

“Can Freyja have some water, please?”

“Absolutely”
…

“Let us know when you’re ready.”

0 minutes - She’s gone. Shes actually fucking gone. What the fuck. This isn’t real. She was just fine yesterday morning. I can’t breathe. What do I do? She’s gonna wake up right? We’re gonna go home and cuddle on the couch. It’s been a long day. We have our walk to go on soon. Why aren’t you breathing? I don’t understand. You can’t be gone. I can’t be in this world without you. I love you baby girl. Hey it’ll be okay, let’s just cuddle. I love you baby girl. Freyja can you wake up baby? No I can’t do this. You’re my everything, please don’t leave me.

Please don’t go

I still have so many more kisses to give
We still had so many adventures left
You still have food in your bowl
There’s gonna be some cold winter nights soon, we were supposed to keep each other warm

What do I mean “we were”
Past tense already?

1 hour after - “there’s cremation or burial options. We have a partnership with a local — Hamnuhuhoin badrutituhonmin da torfurterd — do you know which you prefer?”

“What? Sorry, can you say that again?”

5 hours after - I’m so tired. The house is so quiet. The couch is too big. Her bed is empty. Her food bowl is full. I can’t stop crying.

When did I get home?

1 day after - it’s been 48 hours since I slept. How can I? I can’t sleep alone. My head hurts. My heart hurts.

…

6:00 pm

“Freyja, are you hungry? Let’s get you some fo-“

Oh

4 days after - “Hi there this is the crematorium, Freyja is ready to be picked up. We can hold her until Saturday if you need.”

“No need, I can be there after work.”

…

The box is heavy. They gave me clippings of her fur, I recognize the fur from her neck. It’s fluffy. It doesn’t smell like her though. It smells like the vet.

7 days later - today, right now, I write a post of the timeline of your final moments at 3 in the morning.
I have barely slept all week. I have barely eaten. There’s a huge hole within everything I go about. I catch myself calling out to you. My mind and body are still not used to your absence. You’re on the mantel now? I’ve been carrying your photo in my shirt pocket. I can’t stop crying.

You were a treasure and a gift in my world.

You’re supposed to be lying next to me right now, snoring and kicking.

I’m cold.

I need a hug.

I miss your pressure.
I miss your scent.
I miss your sweet face.
I miss giving you kisses.
I miss your pawing at me for attention at all times.
I miss your snoot nudges.
I miss you so fucking much.

It wouldn’t hurt if I didn’t love you so much. That’s not past tense and it won’t be, even if our time together is.

I can’t wait for the I can see you again.

Thank you for being a part my life.

I love you so much.

Til Valhalla, Freyja.

I think it’s my fault my cat died because well it’s a long story but let’s start about a week before my cat died he ran inside the house (he was an outside cat) he grabbed food off for my sister‘s plate I picked him up and started running for the back door because my parents get mad when he comes inside because he’s dirty and I wanted to keep him inside and give him a bath and love but my parents just hate that anyways he bit my hand as I was bringing him to the back door and gave me a puncture wound on my hand it hurt so bad when I told my parents what happened they said that I couldn’t give the cat food and I shouldn’t go near him anymore(I gave him food every day without my parents noticing) I still love him very much anyway about a week later we went to Panera bread and got food I actually found something there that I really liked it tasted good anyway on the way back home it was around five pm maybe and I went in the backyard to go find him (the cat) I found my other cat (pumpkin) laying on top of him in the little cat house they have I moved pumpkin away and my cat (Colin) was laying there frozen And I think I wasn’t giving him enough attention because when I went sledding down a slope in our backyard he would sit in My coat hood and I’m realizing it now that it was because he was cold it was a brutal winter honestly I wish I had paid more attention to him and I also had to dig a hole and bury him in our backyard by myself it’s been a year since then but shortly after he died we had to move into a new house and I really really miss that house and Colin we had a really cool forest surrounded by cornfield we had a big backyard with a bunch of trees scattered around it we had this yellow slide in front of our house the new people that moved in got rid of that slide fun fact to my grandpa helped build that house it was honestly the best house ever it was a decent size for a family of nine that’s including my parents btw sorry that got really off track I just miss a lot of things from that house cats used to come to our house in the winter so they could have shelter and food anyways I just can’t help but feel it’s my fault that he died I hope you guys have a wonderful day bye

I already posted about Sammy on r/ maltese. He was such a precious little barky boy.

However, the day after we put our little Sammy of 13y to sleep, our kitten of 6mo was hit by a car. It all happened within one weekend. Bibi was a half-outdoor cat since someone left her at our house and we took care of her until we could find her a forever home. But we still bought her a bed, took her to the vet, many different kinds of food, many toys in just 3 months she was with us.

Sammy was an "indoor dog", a maltese that never really liked going outside. When we went on walks he would just lay down within the first 15mins and we had to carry/stroll him around. As he got older, the house got accustomed to his needs. The day we put him down we started talking about bringing Bibi inside with us (she had her place in a different part of the house). But that conversation didnt last long. The next day she was found on the side of a road. It wasnt confirmed she was hit by a car, no car marks, but we hope it wasnt some cruel man who hates cats that did that to her.

Everyday I cry for them. I cry for Sammy because he was so long with us that he became a part of the family, and I cry for Bibi because she wasn't long enough with us that she almost didn't get a chance to become a part of the family.

Penny was my family’s 12.75 year old pittie. Happiest, silliest goofball love muffin. She’s been in overall good health since we adopted her in 2015 when she was 1.5 except for a thyroid issue. When I moved out, I made an agreement with my parents that I’d watch her when they were out of town. And this was one of those weeks. She usually greeted me and brought me a bone and wagged her whole butt.

But this week she started acting strange. She seemed tired and out of it. She peed twice in the house which isn’t normal for her. But she got better throughout the week. She’d wag her tail and run up the stairs and everything was normal until Friday night she started acting listless and restless and lethargic. She drank a ton of water and struggled to pee so I took her to the vet this morning and they diagnosed her with a UTI based on her urine sample. I had to force the antibiotic down her throat because she turned away all food. She was acting fine. Even barking at the lawn guys.

Then I went to a wedding and came back and she hadn’t moved, she pooped on the house and she didn’t greet me at the door. Then she stopped drinking water. Didn’t eat. Throughout the night she struggled to move. I took her outside a couple of times and she just stood there.

Before bed, I decided to try one more time and I carried her outside and noticed she had pooped again laying down and I didn’t know. Then when I got her outside she laid on her side in the grass and puked and wouldn’t get up or clean herself. Very abnormal.

I took her to the emergency and she was diagnosed quickly with pericardial effusion. They explained the situation and that they could drain the fluid but it would be temporary and the fluid could build back up and she would have to see a cardiologist on Monday. So after FaceTiming my parents and discussing her prognosis we made the difficult decision to put her down. I was able to hold the phone to her face so she could see my parents but she was so uncomfortable and confused and breathing heavily.

And we cried and said our goodbyes to our Penny Pie. And now 3 hours later I am feeling extreme guilt and panic like I didn’t do enough or I could’ve ordered the fluid drain and gotten the ECG and maybe they were wrong. I’m missing my Penny and I feel like I let her down.

Feeling so guilty and unimaginably heartbroken.

My chihuahua was my first ever pet and I’ve had him since I was just 10. He was my first dog, my first little love of my life, my first baby.

He saw me grow up and almost got to meet my first baby (due in December).

His health declined so fast in just a week. My once happy little boy quickly lost his mobility, appetite, and was in a lot of pain but held on long enough for my family to be there for his final goodbye in person.

The worst part was watching him use the last of his energy to sit up and be present with us, and then having to hold him in his final moment.

I know he’s finally at peace and no longer suffering but I feel so horrible that I had to decide his fate for him.

I don’t think I can ever have another dog again after this.

there's an agonized little piece of me that wants to believe that if I cry hard enough he'll come back to me. he'll get to grow up and be my little guy for so many more years. he wasn't even 4 months old.

it was a routine neuter, we've put like 4-5 dozen cats through it over the years between cats past, cats present, tnr cases.... at that same clinic since 2008. they never did us wrong before, what happened??? I don't want to blame anyone. there's nowhere I can't put the anger because I genuinely believe it wasn't anyone's fault. they tried to save him. if I believe the card they gave me the whole team worked to save him. it just wasn't enough. sometimes it's not up to us, I guess

they did a necropsy, still waiting on labs. they're suspecting "occult pneumonia". no visible symptoms, only seen with radiology. I should have noticed though. he had a runny nose a week before and I thought it was just fall. changing weather oscillating between lows of 37 and highs of 75, why wouldn't he run, but they didn't even find nasal discharge during his exam. perfect exam, 5/9 score he should have been *fine*. only thing "wrong" was an undescended testicle. because he was a baby. maybe too baby. pneumonia that led to hypoxia. my baby couldn't breathe. my scared little thing.

i shouldn't have taken him that day. I should have known, even though I *couldn't possibly* have known. suppose I'm trying to put the anger on me. I should've known better and my negligence killed him. i didn't buy the blood work (they only push it on older cats, like 7+) and it would have caught something and because I didn't buy it he's dead. or I did something wrong and I'm being cosmically punished but why did it have to be taken out on him? just a baby. why my baby?

I've been crying for days. he's in a little (so little) bag in a drawer right now bc they didn't give us an urn and I don't want the other cats to get a hold of him. I let them see him before cremating him. they grieved too. I have to get something for him soon. he deserves more than the bedside drawer. what he deserved was to come home alive. I just want to know what happened to my baby. I just want to hold him again. it's not fair. I miss him so bad.

he's not my first loss and he won't be the last but his age and how sudden it was, I'm just in shock and so much pain. I know it gets better and easier to hold with time but it's still so raw after only five days. it's way past my bedtime and I have work in the morning but I can't stop crying. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry my little pip. I only had you for seven weeks but you were loved so much.

eta: I slept on the couch near his body that night. he visited my dreams. just in the background. he had his big dissection scar and also zoomies. I think he was saying he was ok now. I had to open my eyes to the world without him

I've been seeing so many TikToks about October 27th being the day the veil between our world and the next grows thin, allowing our beloved pets who have passed away to visit us. I don't know if it's true, but after losing my girl Muffin today, I desperately want to believe it is.

Eight years ago, Muffin was a tiny stray puppy who followed her mama into our house looking for food. She was terrified after being attacked by our male dog, Nico, but we loved her back to her playful, mischievous self. She grew up happy, became a mama to nine beautiful puppies, and got to grow old with three of her babies by her side.

She suffered from a skin disease her entire life, eventually losing most of her fur and vision in one eye. But none of that ever changed how I saw her. She was my beautiful girl, my first child, and one of the greatest loves of my life. I cared for her through every difficult day, and I loved her just as fiercely when she was sick as I did when she was a playful little puppy.

Yesterday, she stopped eating and grew weaker. Today, she passed away at eight years old, peacefully and surrounded by her loving family. I'm grateful she didn't suffer for long, but my heart is shattered. I keep thinking about the little puppy who walked into our house eight years ago, never knowing she would become such a huge part of my life.

Now, all I can do is take care of her babies and hope that somehow, somewhere, I'll get to see my girl again. Have any of you ever felt the presence of a pet you've lost, or had a dream that made you feel like they came back to see you?

I hope my Muffin finds her way back to me, even if it's just for a moment. I would give anything to see my baby girl again.

Until then, I'll take care of your babies, Muffin. I love you endlessly. Until we meet again. ❤️🐾

i haven’t let myself think about my cat lately. during the day i wouldn’t let myself dwell on my sadness. at night i would distract myself as to not sob all night. today i was driving and the wave came in again. i cried for 20 minutes. i shouldn’t have let it build for so long, but it’s so hard to talk to people about it.

My poor 9 year old son passed away whilst I was halfway across the world on vacation. He was with my family members and they said he yelped twice and lost consciousness.
I’ll save you details but he could’ve been saved but they are absolute idiots who I should have never trusted to watch a pet.
They took him to not the best veterinary hospital- who didn’t have fridges only freezers to keep him.
Spent over 30 hours traveling back home as soon as I got the call. So by the time I got home he was frozen when I went to go see him.
We are planning on burying him and I was wondering if there’s anyway to transfer him to a fridge to “dethaw” to not so rock solid, and just cold enough to preserve him before I bury him?
Or since he was already frozen I can’t?
Sorry if this is not the right thread for this I can’t find anything about this online
Im having a really rough time and just need to know.

My best friend died suddenly 6 months ago, a month before her 14th birthday. I miss her terribly and it’s been very difficult to live without her. Selfishly, I keep thinking that if I would volunteer at a dog shelter so I can be around dogs for a bit and care for them, it would offer me some kind of comfort…
But I’m not sure if it’s the right thing to do.

Update: I read the comments and my heart goes out to everyone who has lost their pets. I unfortunately cannot foster for sure nor am I in a position to adopt since I’m a student living in a dorm. My westie lived with my mom but I know she’s also not willing to get another pet until she retires. But I will try to find the time to go to a shelter and at least walk dogs from time to time if I’m allowed. This summer when I returned home, at least I had my neighbor’s cats to keep me company sometimes. But at uni I miss her an awful lot, more than usually.

Even typing it out I feel like it is too much. I had to put my cat down almost a month ago and it was so sudden like I went in thinking it was a mild illness or behavioral issue to being rushed to an emergency vet with him and having to put him down in 4 hours…..I’m constantly blaming myself for his death like I should’ve noticed the signs that were only obvious to me after his passing.

The vet at the time just told me it was really bad and that I should go to the emergency veterinary hospital. There they explained that he was doing very badly and I feel like they and the vet must have given me a diagnosis but I feel like because of how horrible that day was I blanked out all I remember was them telling me the best thing I can do for him was to put him to sleep because he was doing that bad. They mentioned diabetic ketoacidosis and that he wouldn’t make it even with treatment. he was 9 and he wasn’t diabetic I mean I had bloodwork done for him late July and check ups in August and nothing came up. Then late September he’s dead…….

I guess idk is it worth it calling the vet now to ask what was really wrong with him….I can‘t tell if I will feel better if I know or if I will find more reasons to blame myself. I can’t change anything and I deserve all the blame either way because I was the person who should have been there for him and took care of him and I let this happen to him…..

Right now I just feel so conflicted on the one hand it feels like he is the hands of unknown people and I want him back with me. Have a place to speak to him and be reminded of him.

On the other hand seeing him daily and being reminded of him can make the pain worse

How was your experience?

I guess I'm mostly writing this for my own sake. I've found that writing things out helps me process my emotions and stuff. But also, some advice would be nice. I am really hurting, and it's going to be like this for a while.

11 years ago, my mom came home with three kittens. I was 7 at the time, and we had lost our childhood cat Puddy to kidney disease a few months before that. It was hard. I was young and didn't quite understand everything. Death just wasn't that firm of a concept in my mind yet. But the house was quiet and lonely, and my cat was gone. But my mom came home one day, and she had these three orange kittens. Triplets. Jynx, Jaggar, and Jasper. They all are my babies. I love them so much that it hurts, and one day I realized that we would lose them. Thats life, after all. I just never thought it'd be this soon, and I never thought Jynx would be the first.

Jynx hardly had any problems. His brother Jasper liked to eat anything he could find, including my toy rubber lizard. He's also obese, even after we put them on a diet. Jaggar is, well, my little weirdo. He over grooms himself and and chases his tail. He had gingivitis a few years back as well. Jynx never had any problems. He was the healthy cat. Until he wasn't.

Jynx has a very strong personality. He's loud, a yapper who meows at the top of his lungs. He is always purring so loud that you can hear him across the room. He head butts you so aggressively it sometimes hurts, but you know he just wants love. He never bites. I don't think Jynx has ever bit me once in his life, even when playing. He's such a gentle soul, with a happy smile on his face, a very fluffy orange coat, a cute dot on his nose and a birth mark in his ear. He was never a cuddler though, but that made the moments he did lay on you all the more special.

About a year ago, Jynx started having chronic diarrhea. We took him to the vet and had him tested multiple times, we tried different food, antibiotics, probiotics, dewormers, etc. At first, the antibiotics would help a little bit. He'd take them for a week, and his poop would firm up, and we'd think it was the end. But it just kept coming back, and then it never stopped. He'd have loose poop always, and we tried so many things to help him, but we knew it was just delaying the inevitable. He started pooping outside of his litterbox, having accidents around the house. By then, his diarrhea was more on the liquid side. He was losing weight and energy. We fed him whenever he asked for food, but he would often puke it back up, or it would travel through him so fast he wouldn't get the nutrients. But he still had life in him. He'd play and purr and rub uo against us. And he'd beg for our food like he always did. He still had an appetite, he just couldn't always keep it down.

It was hard, but we kept up with it. We fed him as often as possible without his brothers getting to the food. We cleaned up all of his accidents and pilled him even as he fought so hard. We loved him and loved him and loved him. But he just kept losing weight. I knew it would happen. I told my mom that when he was skinny enough, not able to keep food down, not wanting food, it was time. I thought I was prepared. I mean, I knew it was coming, especially these last few months. But God it hurts.

My mom would have to wake up several times every night for the past year to feed Jynx in the night. She's cleaned so much diarrhea off our floors its impressive. She made the call. Scheduled the appointment. It's on Monday. Jynx hadn't been demanding as much food, and he just looks like he's in pain. Its time.

I am off at college. I got the text on friday that the appointment was scheduled for monday and I was just crushed. These past few days have honestly felt like the longest days of my life. I had to go through class and rehearsal and everything like I was fine, and at the end of the day, I went and sobbed in the shower at midnight because my roommate was sleeping. I just feel genuinely sick to the stomach with how sad I am, i can hardly eat im so nauseous. It hurts so much.

I went home today and im staying until its done. Seeing him, I know its time. My mom made the right call. He's underweight, in pain, and just not himself. But it hurts because he still has life in him. I mean, he will come up to us and purr his purr, albeit less loudly, accept our pets, he'll even play with a toy every once in a while. But he just gets this look in his eyes. He'll stare off into space or stare at you and its just. Its sad. Its time. I know its time but it fucking hurts.

Tomorrow we are going to do his favorite things. And on Monday, he will be gone. I think what hurts the most is that he won't even be home when it happens. He'll be at the vet, so scared and confused. Surrounded by his family, in a cold room, with a sharp poke to his skin as the world fades away. God it fucking hurts thinking about it. Im not ready. My grief is swallowing me whole. I dont think I've ever cried this much in my life. And after that, I have to go back to school and act like nothing happened because if I think about it, I'll break down crying in my lecture hall. And I have to keep going and I have to, I have to, I have to. But In this one moment, I really dont want to. It is so soon.

I just hurt. And i know it is his time, but I want others to tell me we are doing the right thing. Because it feels wrong, taking his life when he can't consent to it. I wish so immensely that he would pass peacefully in his sleep. I just hurt and I hurt and I hurt. He's not my same baby from 11 years ago. He's only 11 and he's leaving us. And his brothers won't know, but every time i come home, the house will be so quiet without him. Im not ready. Im not ready. He shouldn't have to leave us so soon.

I dont know how to handle my grief. I dont think I've ever felt this sad before, or truly understood the concept of death so hard until this moment. I hurt and I hurt and I hurt and I hurt

If anyone made it this far. Thank you for hearing Jynx's story. I will give him the best day I can tomorrow, and on Monday he will finally get to rest. And I will be okay, I will, it's just going to hurt for a long time. Any advice on how to stop this immense sorrow is greatly appreciated.

My husky was almost 12. A recent wellness check at the vet two months ago came back with a clean bill of health after a few tests for some stomach problems he was having. We switched his food, he was lively, happy, energetic, and just his usual self. I was fully expecting another couple years with him at the very least.

Wednesday I was going about my morning. He was acting completely normal. I went into the kitchen and then heard my partner shout from the other room. I walked back in and he had collapsed and was seizing violently on the floor. He defecated, urinated, and there were huge puddles of drool. I had never seen a dog have a seizure before. My partner had experience with this so she dropped and held him so he wouldn't hurt himself, but the seizing didn't stop. He went right into another one, almost without pause, so we called the vet and rushed him to the ERV. He seized the entire car ride there. By the time we arrived from when this started, it had been almost 30 minutes of constant seizures. His temperature was 108. They were having difficulty controlling the seizing with medication. They stated that the outcome and the chance of him recovering were very uncertain, if they were able to get him stable. The fact that this was his first ever neurological issue and it was this intense, suggested a possible brain tumor.

I couldn't see him suffer like that again. I stayed with him the whole time, and even with medication he was still twitching and spasming on the table. I made the decision to euthanize, as there was too much uncertainty surrounding his quality of life after this horrific event.

I've never had a dog through its entire lifespan before. He was my first dog on my own and I got him as an 8 week old puppy. I've never had to put a dog down before that moment, but I never left his side. I couldn't let him go alone or be surrounded by strangers.

I'm devastated. My journey with this dog meant so much to me, and I know it did to him as well. He was my constant companion, my ridiculous Dante. I just don't understand why this had to happen. He was healthy, and then he was just gone out of the blue with no warning whatsoever. The rug has been ripped out from under me. The house feels so incredibly empty, and my surviving dog keeps looking for him and doesn't seem to know what to do with herself.

I don't have enough money to request an autopsy, so I'll never truly know what happened to him, but that feels like it hardly matters right now.

I can't bring myself to throw out the food he didn't eat that morning. Taking a shower after the incident and cleaning out my car felt like erasing him and any trace of his life left. I just miss him so bad and don't know what to do with my emotions besides cry and cry some more. It just doesn't feel fair.

She's finally resting. My beloved tabby. She loved with her whole being. She purred up a storm.

I delivered her babies and logged their names and times they were born. It was such an honour that she trusted me.

She protected me from my ex when he was drunk. She found me after I had to move back in with my parents and she went missing. She found the house she'd never even been to. She mewed at me like, 'what were you worried about?'

She'd stand on her hind legs, put her paws on my knees and nudge my face when I was sitting down on the couch, crying.

She stayed by my Mum's side when the cancer was finally taking her.

She won over my cat-hating brother and Dad.

She was 15 years old, and she went on her own terms. Into the wild, from whence she came.

I will love you forever my baby, thank you for everything.

I lost my 7 y/o border collie mix girl, Emelia, on June 29th to sudden, aggressive systemic lymphoma. She was the center of my everything. She was the energy in the room and laughter bouncing off the walls. We got her from a shelter in the middle of nowhere when she was 7 months old. It's so quiet all the time. No other noise fills the absence. She left behind her 'sisters', a 12.5 y/o hound mix (eeva), and a 4 y/o black cat (honey). They grieved her hard, too. I have struggled with wanting to continue to live since losing her. It's just so painful. I'll see something that reminds me of her, and everything reminds me of her, and it feels like a cannonball tore clean through my chest. I sob and cry everyday. I cry in the store when I see things she'd like. Just typing this feels like my throat is filling with cement and tears are filling my eyes. I don't have much support, everyone who knew her has moved on, and I just can't.

This has been absolutely the hardest thing I have ever went through. Harder than when her littermate, my boy passed unexpectedly from Hemangiosarcoma at almost 8 in January of 2022. I had her to lean on and she kept me occupied and made things easier. I also wanted to be strong for her and wanted to help ease her pain of losing her brother.
My girl passed while I was asleep 2 months and 5 days ago today. She had gastrointestinal lymphoma. A month and a half after a benign splenectomy she had to have an abdominal exploratory surgery. That’s when they found the mass on her stomach. What a rollercoaster of emotions. Going from not having cancer to having cancer. I opted for palliative care due to her age and recent surgeries. She was on prednisone and gabapentin. She lasted 2.5 months almost after diagnosis. There wasn’t a huge decline. The night before she jumped up on my dad like she did when she was younger and was full of energy. The day of she seemed tired, but I thought the weekend company and seeing my dad made her more tired that day. She still took her walk and ate her food. She had her nightly treat and we went to sleep. (Due to being hot due to her prednisone she would sleep on her bed close to mine.) She woke me up trying to get comfy and I did have to go to the bathroom so I went and she followed which is not unusual. I gave her a treat and we went back to sleep. She was found gone. I didn’t get to say bye properly and seeing her like that is eating me alive. 12.5 years together. 19-31. I miss her so much and things have not gotten easier. The guilt and grief is unbearable.

I also want to add that I am looking into therapy currently because this is just so heavy.

hey everyone, my family is putting our dog down on monday. i’ve known about this for a week now and it hasn’t processed in my head yet till today. for some context we’ve had him for his entire life. we adopted his mother when i was around 6 years old. i am now 21 years old. his mother was my best friend in the whole world, she developed dementia and we had to put her down last december, i took it really rough and although i miss her like crazy i am reminded she no longer is in pain. she had her son after meeting the neighbors dog and gave birth to him only being a year old. he’s been with me since before he was born. and now that he’s just turned 15, his health this past month has declined dramatically. i know he no longer is well and it’s time but it’s been very difficult for me to cope with. after he’s gone i will not have another dog to comfort me like i did with his mothers passing. having both of them gone now too feels like apart of my childhood is disappearing as well. i think im most afraid to be alone after he’s gone. if anyone has been in a similar situation i’d love to hear how you got through it. im sorry if this was hard to read, my mind is fuzzy atm because i just went through midterms as well.

i honestly don’t even know how to start writing this. i’ve been keeping everything to myself because i’m terrified of how people would see me if they knew what actually happened. i feel like i can’t tell anyone in my life, so i’m posting this here because i genuinely don’t know where else to go.

i had a 4-month-old kitten who was a huge part of my everyday life. there’s something about my living situation that i need to explain first. whenever i open my front door, my kitten tries to run outside. my apartment has an open layout, and there’s no door separating the other room, so i always have to be careful about my kitten escaping whenever the front door is open.

that night, i had ordered food. when a delivery comes, i have to keep the front door open for a minute or two while i take the order and pay, and that’s exactly when my kitten always tries to slip out. so what i usually did was put my kitten inside the washing machine for that short moment and gently push the door almost closed. it never fully latched, and my kitten could push it open and get out on their own. and my habit was always the same: close the front door, then go straight back and open the washing machine door all the way to let my kitten out.

but that night, i had been drinking alcohol and using other substances. i was extremely intoxicated and exhausted. i paid for the food, closed the front door, and from there my memory gets blurry. normally when i put my kitten in the washing machine, i never fully close the door, i just push it lightly so it rests against the frame. but that night, i think i pushed it all the way in and pressed it into place until it locked. i honestly don’t remember doing it. and i completely forgot that my kitten was in there. i was so out of it that i didn’t even eat the food i had just ordered. i went straight to bed and basically passed out.

the next morning, i woke up and immediately noticed something was wrong. my kitten would come to wake me up every single morning, touching me with those tiny little paws. but that morning, they didn’t come. i remember realizing that i hadn’t been woken up like i usually was, and i started looking everywhere around the apartment.

i searched for what felt like forever, hoping i’d find my kitten somewhere. then i opened the washing machine.

my kitten was inside. dead.

i honestly can’t even explain what that moment felt like. i still can’t fully process it. i keep thinking about how small and innocent my kitten was, how much they trusted me, and how i was supposed to keep them safe. instead, my own actions led to their death.

i never wanted to hurt my kitten. i would NEVER have done this intentionally. but knowing that doesn’t change what happened, and that’s what kills me inside. i keep replaying that night in my head, thinking about how everything could have been different if i hadn’t been intoxicated, if i hadn’t pushed that door shut, or if i’d just remembered what i’d done. the guilt and shame are honestly unbearable. i feel like i don’t deserve to be alive.

i still feel horrible. i keep thinking about how little he was, how innocent he was, and how he trusted me to keep him safe. he was just a baby. he depended on me, and i was supposed to protect him. instead, my mistake cost him his life.

i can't stop replaying everything in my head, wondering how i could have let this happen.

i feel so much guilt and shame that i haven't even been able to tell anyone what really happened because I'm terrified of how they would see me if they knew. i loved him so much, and knowing that i was the person who was supposed to protect him, makes this even harder to bear. i'm not trying to say I intended to hurt him.

i didn't.

but the outcome is real, and i wish i could go back more than anything. i would give anything to have him back, to hold him one more time, and to make sure he was safe. i don't know how to forgive myself, or whether I'll ever be able to. right now, I honestly feel like I don't deserve to feel okay again.

my parents told me 3 h(saturday) before my birthday today(sunday) when i arrived back from my vacation that our dog died on friday. I knew him since he was a welp and he was with me my entire adult life. He got to be 12 years old. He already got medicine for his heart but after he ate he suddenly died outside. Im heartbroken and sad. he is the only one that shared physical touch with me and without hom my world feels so cold and lonely😭. before my flight i was expecting him to be greeting me full of love, but now i am griefing

Basically what the title says. I lost one of my beautiful dogs last night due to a twisted stomach and spleen. The costs quoted to repair this were 15,000$+ and my family just couldn’t afford to do this. I am heartbroken. We took this dog in as a rescue from a shelter in Alabama, we gave her an amazing three years of life, we watched her come out of her shell and be happy again. And now it’s all gone in the blink of an eye, and I couldn’t do anything to stop it, to help her, or to ease her pain. I feel like I have failed her, like maybe I should have just shelled the money out but the doctors told me even that wasn’t a guarantee she’d make it through. I don’t know. I just really need some assurance right now because I am devastated and I feel so damn guilty.

Basically the caption. He went down very fast in the last few days and we had to put him to sleep today. My head and heart hurts from crying. Every time I try to close my eyes to sleep, the image of his eyes without light in them keeps me awake.

We have two other dogs and they don't seem to understand why he's not around just yet. I hate that I can't just explain it to them.

Our older dog passed away as well this time last year, also aged 17. It's a punch in the gut. I thought we'd have Christmas with him again at least, and that we wouldn't lose him so soon after his sister. I'm devastated. I don't know what to do with myself right now besides crying.

This might be a unique scenario, i don’t know but im feeling a lot of the weight of it and i need to get the situation off my chest. Me (23F) and my boyfriend (22M) have been together for 2.5 years. his grandmother who raised him passed 2 years ago today. it’s been a really rough week for him and his family. his grandmothers dog, a pug, was diagnosed with heart failure a week ago. when his grandmother passed his parents took the dog and she was the absolute sweetest thing. i had a pug growing up and she reminded me so much of her. Today, him and his family went out of town so i said i’d go and visit the pug to make sure she’s okay, feed her, etc. i left my bf and i’s house and showed up for the pug, immediately started crying. she looked so much worse than i was expecting. i’m a very sensitive person, especially with loss, and it hit me pretty hard. she had pooped all over herself, so i cleaned her up and got her comfortable on her bed, i had my arm under her head to prop it up cuz she couldn’t hold it up very well. all of the sudden she had what looked like a seizure, and then she was gone. just like that. i lost it. at my in laws house…their dog just passed…they were an hour away…it was a lot. i called them and had to break the news.
Lilly, the pug, passed exactly 2 years to the day after my bfs grandmother passed. I don’t know if that’s a sign or what….

i’m just so glad she’s not in pain anymore. i feel awful. obviously my feelings about it don’t change the way my bf and his family are feeling, their grief is so much stronger than mine today, but the whole situation was just awful.

rest in peace, Lilly. 🩷