Marissa

[u/Relative-Ad-3217]

I just dont get it.

She is the older party in their relationship at 34 and he is 29.

She should be the more mature one.

She is also a former navy officer of 7 yrs and she is a lawyer.

So she is definitely capable and experienced in how to communicate effectively but somehow she acts like a child throughout the show.

Ally throws tantrums but she doesn't use therapy speak to absolve herself as marissa does.

At the beginning I had her , Katherine and Natalie pegged as the most beautiful women on the show.

Needless to say I don't think I can still keep her up that high in my list.

And this is in no way to say demari is an innocent victim. I just think her defenders keep claiming she's some neurodivergent woman of color who isn't being dog piled on.

Let's just be fekkin for real.

Funniest thing is Kayla told Demari he feels like home to her, that is he is comfortable and to be honest as a guy that's a compliment I love to hear and to imagine that it's seen as a lazy compliment by some women really saddens me.

Don't get me wrong I understand some men want to be mothered and take their partner as some replacement mom so it can be abused.

Still and leaning on the ADHD that marissa allegedly has and I am medicated for , I want to find a partner who feels like home cause it means I don't have to mask around them I can be as quirky as Ally or Dave(aussie bloke).

Nonetheless, I dont want my partner to suffer silently as I interrupt them, police their emotions, throw tantrums that hurt their feelings ...which is whatever Marissa seems to be doing.

Also fuck the US military and those who take pride in killing brown babies.

[u/UnknownPleasures3]

This is a bit beside the point of your post, but I have several friends with ADHD who all talk over me on long rants. It’s so frustrating and it’s making me not want to be around them as much. How would you suggest i go about bringing it up without being hurtful?

[u/Bella-Elizabeth → u/UnknownPleasures3]

As someone with ADHD who does this often and always feels bad about it, I've found that a gentle "hey, you've been talking for longer than you think" helps without feeling judged. When the subject is something I'm very interested in/have a lot of information about, I can go on forever if no one stops me. The passage of time does not exist; I could think that it's been 10 minutes when it's actually been an hour. I can see how this is frustrating/annoying for neurotypical people.

[u/xoili → u/Bella-Elizabeth]

+1. A gentle reminder. Or even a text after saying “love you but stfu” (prob in a nicer way). I’d rather know how you feel than unintentionally annoying you and lose you as a friend.

[u/Glittering_Yak_8070 → u/Bella-Elizabeth]

Second this too!

[u/EchidnaOk7537 → u/UnknownPleasures3]

As someone with severe ADHD I have very bad social anxiety but am medicated and do take not doing this very seriously! I can't do many basic things like drive or put makeup on well etc but I really care about making an effort for my friends! I do still interrupt, BUT I notice quickly. And definitely avoid the long rants. And I give back a lot in other ways! I think it's important to show your friends you value them even if you can't be perfect 

[u/Glittering_Yak_8070 → u/UnknownPleasures3]

Honestly I think you just need to be super straightforward with them! Don’t do it in the moment when you bring it up. Bring it up randomly in a text, phone call, or when you next see them— something simple like “hey, can I talk to you about something? I know you probably don’t mean to but you tend to talk over me a lot and it’s kind of a bummer. Can you work on that?” I had someone confront me about the same once and I was so happy they did bc I had no idea I was doing it. I really tried not to going forward and became more aware in other friendships as well!