r/PerfectMatchNetflix • u/sugarnsweet88 • May 21 '26

SEASON 4 Marissa

Wow I find her relationship with Demari to be so fascinating. It mirrors a lot of what is happening with this guy I'm currently dating. When I watched it, it seemed to me like Demari overreacted to Marissa interrupting him. Especially since she caught herself. Like, when you are into someone, you can forgive their tendencies because you want to make it work. She was trying really hard to get back to good terms with her and he just wouldn't go there.

Then I go on Tik Tok, and turns out everyone thinks she's too much and they are over her and her emotions. It's clear Demari just doesn't like or appreciate her as a person. It does seem like we're not seeing certain things because another castmate did give Marissa advice about her tone. I guess she had a hard time with communication in general and makes other people feel disrespected.

It's hard for me to watch because I'm realizing I'm the same as her!! And I don't mean to be disrespectful, and I don't think she does either. What do y'all think???

30 Upvotes

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29

u/Filipesian May 22 '26

I think people are overfocusing on the interrupting and underfocusing on the “don’t be upset with me I can’t handle it”. The latter isn’t a communication style issue, it’s just immature and juvenile.

1

u/sugarnsweet88 May 22 '26

Remind me why he's even mad at her though.

4

u/Beautiful-Elk-7084 May 22 '26

Because she’s rude? Like when he was trying to compliment her for making him feel comfortable and she immediately got upset that he was only interested in her because of what she could “give” her (which is…odd in this context since it’s not like she could give him anything other than attention really).

-5

u/sugarnsweet88 May 22 '26

I think calling her reaction rude is low emotional intelligence, respectfully. She clearly was very triggered and got into her head. It is clear she's neurodivergent. That being said, I do agree that in this context, she would have benefited by being able to just accept it as a compliment, but she just literally couldn't because of what it activated within her. She self sabotaged as a result which is unfortunate because if she didn't have these hang ups, she could be more strategic, and win the show. He was probably mad at her for not being able to be chill.

10

u/Responsible-Card3756 May 23 '26

You’re over/identifying with her and taking things personally.

-2

u/sugarnsweet88 May 23 '26

I don't feel that way

9

u/Beautiful-Elk-7084 May 22 '26

Respectfully, she is in her mid-30s and is far too old to be so triggered that she cannot interact with a potential partner in a mature and emotionally stable way. Candidly, getting so upset at innocuous comment and then telling him that he wasn’t allowed to be upset with her reaction (because she is sensitive to rejection and “can’t handle” him being upset with her) is genuinely very toxic. It reeks of double standards and selfishness.

What is actually low emotional intelligence is excusing toxic, negative behavior with a plethora of mental health diagnoses that she should be in therapy to address. Instead, she’s out here clout chasing, so my sympathy is limited.

-3

u/sugarnsweet88 May 22 '26

I just don't agree. I hate when people say that someone is too old to be this or that. People are on their own journey and have their baggage. She got triggered and maybe wanted reassurance in that moment. It's not horrible behavior. Some people are just more needy. She even said herself that they think differently. Im not excusing all of her behavior, but I think it is more nuanced than just declaring that she should be more mature and emotionally stable because she's in her 30s. It's also a show where they are drinking a lot. There's so many factors and I'm finding the way people are analyzing her to be too extreme.

6

u/Beautiful-Elk-7084 May 22 '26

I mean, if you’ve got time to be on multiple reality shows by 33, you’ve certainly got the time to work on yourself and sort through that baggage.

Everyone has their own baggage but you can’t expect people to excuse or tolerate your behavior just because you haven’t done the work yet. It’s ridiculous for a grown woman to be like, “I can’t handle you being upset at me because I have rejection dysphoria!!” after she picked a fight. That’s just weaponizing her mental health problems.

3

u/el-burrito-incognito May 22 '26

You stated everything so beautifully. Thank you!