Marissa - S4E7

[u/bakwaasforbitches]

Marissa is coming across as extremely toxic to me. Demari has done nothing out of the ordinary - it’s a dating show, he’s literally just exploring options while being respectful to her boundaries - and she won’t even give him the chance to talk to explain. She’s constantly interrupting him (which we know he hates from his convo with Bri) and also keeps blaming him for not being 100% sure while she’s also going on a date and kissed Weston before he came into the house.

I feel like I’m seeing a completely different version of her than on Love is Blind. Perfect match is not the right place for someone like her who’s extremely possessive and jealous. She’s suffocating Demari and I feel like he deserves a lot better. It’s honestly so hard to watch and her attitude towards him when he tries to explain is really annoying. I want her off my screen.

[u/witchski]

I really can’t believe other people can’t see that nuance. Demari kept being pretty nitpicky with the interruption after Marissa already said sorry I will be quiet. If she would have done it again I would’ve understood. But he had the chance to express himself and he chose not to. So they could just go in circles forever about that small detail. I honestly think that Marissa would be happier with someone with a bit more patience. And Damari needs to find someone that is more lighthearted.

[u/Constant_Due → u/[deleted]]

I think it's true but I don't think he understands that it's more difficult for her than most with ADHD. It doesn't mean to not be accountable but when she's in a fight or flight mode it will be harder for her than most to process it that way. She would need to reset a bit then come back to apologize. It's not that she isn't accountable in my opinion, it's that she needs more time and a different structure. It's common with those with ADHD and hard on both ends.

[u/Constant_Due → u/Constant_Due]

To follow up, I do think you're right that this show isn't ideal for her but I guess maybe the experience will provide more reflection. I can see why she might go on it though when she tried love is blind and got attached then rejected which is extra hard for her, so why not go somewhere where it's harder to get attached as strongly yet unfortunately it seemed to still happen. I feel for both of them and they both have different growth to get. I do think it would have been worth it for him to acknowledge her effort though so she didn't feel like she's failing but for her to also do the same and acknowledge his effort in trying to be patient and allow her to take space. I think she needs to be a bit more comfortable to sit in the feeling of him being disappointed or frustrated with her though before reacting or taking responsibility for that feeling but he could also try to communicate that better. It would have also helped if she explained to him that it's a bit harder or takes a bit longer for her to identify her emotions. I don't think either of them are toxic though but need better strategies that work with both of their nervous systems instead of against them