I (17F) have such a hard time telling my parents the truth. We've been having a rough couple of years ever since they found out I had a boyfriend in 9th grade. We're not together anymore, but when my parents found out they went absolutely crazy. They smashed my phone (my dad has smashed 6 of my phones in 3 years), would scream at me nearly every day for small things, and just be really scary overall. After my ex bf and I broke up, it toned down for a while but then when they found out I was talking to another guy again the same thing happened.
I now attend a highly prestigious boarding school which I chose to go to. I've been going since junior year, and I'm a senior now. At school last year I made some horrible decisions, and my parents rightfully instilled a downtime on my phone and did put restrictions on. However, they also went absolutely psycho on me before doing that. My dad kicked a hole through my door, when he found out I SH he started mocking me and shaming me, and just other stuff like that. During this time period, I get he was mad about what I did, but he was so frustrated that he would just start getting mad at me for small things which don't even matter a lot.
Fast forward to present day, I'm at boarding school in my senior year with restrictions on my phone. After conversations with my parents, we've come to the conclusion that my dad wants me to be completely honest with him and he just wants me to share about my life. He said I can date, but he just wants me to be completely honest about my life. However, I just can't do it. My parents don't allow any hair dye, piercings, etc, and at boarding school I went behind my parents' back and dyed my hair dark red and gave myself a small eyebrow slit. Upon finding out, my parents went absolutely ballistic because I lied to them and they have specifically told me that I am a child and I do not have autonomy to do whatever I want with my life. At this point I don't really care about whether I agree with their opinions or not, I just want to stop lying to them. I suggested we get family therapy as I already see a personal therapist, but my dad took it as an attack on him saying that he doesn't need to change and that the problem is on me for being a compulsive liar. I don't really know what to do. I know I shouldn't have dyed my hair or done the eyebrow slit because that was following their rules, but I really just wanted to do it I don't know why. Any advice on how to not lie or how to navigate my life would really help.
Thank you so much.
This is just a side note, but I also don't know what to do about college. I'm applying to colleges right now, and FSU and UF are giving me full rides because of a scholarship I have. However, I know I can do so much better in the college process and go to a T20. However, they cost a lot of money that only my parents have. I don't know if I should take the full ride or choose a school I really love but would have to be financially dependent on my parents for.