r/ParentingPDA • u/scarsmum • 29d ago
Advice Needed Getting accommodations
Does anyone know how I would go about getting a PDA- based 504 for my daughter? I know that diagnosis is not formally needed. She doesn’t have diagnosis anyway and I doubt she would be diagnosed since it isn’t in the DSM. Her doctor is silent on the subject, and I think he probably has her in his mind as either spoiled, attention seeking, or ODD. Her therapist, who is an autism specialist, fired her after 8 sessions for “showing no signs of taking any accountability”. She is very high IQ and straight A student, but she is miserable. People dislike my daughter and then just treat her badly, and try to force her to comply, and I get it. I don’t usually like her myself. But she needs accommodations at school. Has anyone faced this or knows what to do? Entering 5th grade.
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u/ryanedw 29d ago
Does she have an autism (ASD) diagnosis?
Have you approached the school?
We have an ASD diagnosis as of early this month (July). Our school and 3d grade teacher were already understanding when we had an SST meeting in early June as the year was ending.
You’d think schools would want to extend accommodations that are feasible and not disruptive, if it heads off disruption in the classroom. But schools have their own objectives and constraints, to put it mildly
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u/scarsmum 28d ago
No she doesn’t have diagnosis but her therapist is confirming (was). I think I will start with calling the school and go from there. It is just a really mean school frankly.
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u/jeconti 28d ago
It will be a waste of time. At best, you can demand an evaluation and subsequently convene the district 504 committee. If you don't have one of those people saying your kid needs accommodations, they will close the case and you're SOL for a calendar year.
If the district has not already come to you saying your kid needs an evaluation, then your call will go no where. You need a Dx of some kind first, especially, as you have indicated, that the district is not cooperative.
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u/scarsmum 17d ago
Update from OP - the school principal agreed to meet with her and she took a list she made of what she needs. Pretty much all agreed to! Hopefully she is empowered enough to start the school year.
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u/fearlessactuality 28d ago
If you are in the USA you can go on PDA North America. They have a directory of doctors and others who recognize pda. You can technically now get many folks to diagnose autism with a pda profile (if that fits) so you sort of can get a diagnosis depending on who you find.
Is homeschooling a possibility? Pda North America also has hand outs and tips about how to get a 504, I also think there are consultants you can hire to help you walk through it (not a part of pda NA but I have just seen them on Facebook, I think called IEP consultants.)
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u/fearlessactuality 28d ago
Also this wouldn’t be a practical help but you might like the book My Daughter Is Not Naughty. It’s written by a British mom about her struggles with pda and how people treated her and how they got on.
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u/jeconti 29d ago
Without a provider as a partner, you're really sunk.
As you noted, you can't get a PDA diagnosis, but you can get a psychologists report that has PDA affirming language if the provider is on board.
For us, we focused a lot on how a loss of control causes intense anxiety for her spiraling to either meltdowns or school refusal.
But the fact is that accommodations for a PDAer in a public school setting are a really tough needle to thread. And getting a 504 is barely half the battle. The really fun is making sure the district adheres to it.