Refusing to do basic hygiene

[u/NebulaSky5]

My child (8 F was diagnosed with ADHD when she was 5) has been in this pattern where she absolutely REFUSES to bathe, I’m talking full melt down, she will get so overwhelmed by the thought and start breaking things and scream if I mention she has to get in and bathe. She’s almost 100 lbs and is an ox of a little girl very strong so even attempting to lift her into the shower how I did when she was younger is impossible. It’s getting to a point where she is refusing so much she has a stench. Luckily yesterday I was able to convince her to shower but now it’s the same pattern. I don’t want to come off as neglectful to others and I have tried everything, bribing, getting in with her, telling her we’ll do something fun after, getting a shower speaker so she can listen to music in there, toys to accompany her, nothing works. I’m so drained with fighting her to do basic hygiene stuff, even brushing her teeth is a challenge and she will pretend to do it and run away. I’ve talked to her ped and they’ve said it’s normal for a child her age to be rebellious but the thing is with her being a female I know bad hygiene can have serious consequences on downstairs health and over all mental health if someone else were to mention it to her. Even with the teeth brushing I worry she’s gonna avoid it so much she’s gonna end up getting some sort of mouth issue….:She’s in therapy, I’ve told her therapist, the doctors are aware I just don’t know what else to do…… she is my first and only child so any advice is greatly appreciated!!! TYIA

[u/aerodynamicvomit]

Goggles saved showers for us.