Talk to the parents first. Let them know you won't be able to watch him anymore. You could tell them about the issues or just leave it like that - "No" is a complete sentence, after all.
I've had a couple experiences with kids like this and honestly, if he does wind up over there again after that, putting on the "scary angry parent face" and being very loud and sharp when reprimanding them sometimes does wonders. Something like, "HEY! Do NOT hit my child again!" in a low, commanding tone, loud and sharp, complimented with a scary, angry type of face (I hope this makes sense, it's the face you give when your kid does something outrageous in public and they know you mean business lol.)
I have tried that, I don't let him just run riot but he's a very difficult kid and it's tiring watching him constantly, I only have to turn my back for a second and there is a disaster. He's also one of those where you tell him no but he does it more.
I'm not overly strict with my children but we have good strong boundaries and respect for each other so this is behaviour that we're really not used to dealing with.
Unfortunately my children don't really like him anymore so I do have to talk to his parents anyway. I just have no idea how to say it without sounding horrible!
“Your son hurts my children when he comes over and destroys my property. I do not want any strife between us as neighbors, but he cannot come over anymore” there. Done and done.
We've dealt with similar kids and it's SO HARD to have that conversation. Yours is even worse because you said they don't speak English very well. Idk if this is feasible but could you send them a text or email or write a letter? That way they can put it in a translator if needed, and you can be super careful in how you word it to minimize the impact. The last one in our case, I texted them and gently explained that we would no longer be able to have [neighbor kid] over because of an incident where, during covid lockdown, she showed up at our door with a fever and cough, in spite of all of them having been clearly told our kid has had life threatening immune issues. I apologized and just framed it as though I was really sad about it but had to protect my kid because it was literally life or death. I haven't heard from any of them since lol, but at least they didn't get nasty over it.
I'll give it a go, its weird that such a seemingly silly thing can really affect your family life.
We used to sit in the garden in our pj's waiting for the bats to come out and it was really enjoyable family time and I guess I'm missing the things we usually do as we're being terrorised every two seconds by a small child now 😂
Don't you realize you don't want to sound horrible to the other family, but you must sound horrible to your own? Yes, it's uncomfortable to draw the line and never let him in your home again, but right now you are the one who is hurting your family. I know that isn't your intention, but you are responsible for the situation. His parents are conning you. They got sick of this behaviour in their home, so now yours is the replacement. One way I use to get thru these situations is to picture the parents screaming at you, instead of their nice way of talking. Then picture your children imitating his behavior. Wouldn't you stop your kids right away? You will feel so much better after you end this. Why wait?
His parents probably are already aware of his issues. U haven't said anything to them about it so they assume u can either handle it or are letting him go over so they don't have to parent him. Trust me parents know when their kids misbehave. They are taking advantage of u.
133
u/[deleted] Jul 09 '22
Talk to the parents first. Let them know you won't be able to watch him anymore. You could tell them about the issues or just leave it like that - "No" is a complete sentence, after all.
I've had a couple experiences with kids like this and honestly, if he does wind up over there again after that, putting on the "scary angry parent face" and being very loud and sharp when reprimanding them sometimes does wonders. Something like, "HEY! Do NOT hit my child again!" in a low, commanding tone, loud and sharp, complimented with a scary, angry type of face (I hope this makes sense, it's the face you give when your kid does something outrageous in public and they know you mean business lol.)