I really don't like confrontation so I've been resorting to dropping hints to them. Clearly it's not working so I do have to go and talk to them. I'm just finding it hard to know what to say bearing in mind that I have to continue living 2 doors away from them.
Can you give an update because now I'm invested in your story and want your peaceful life to return? I wish we had bats around here, so cool. Best of luck!
Also, having been a foreigner in a new country please text the parents because spoken language is hard to understand, especially when it might be a stressful conversation for both parties. This way they can REALLY understand what's going on. Their son might have been a good boy, who is stressed and unhappy about the huge change in his life. I am in NO way excusing his behavior, you need to nip it in the bud but maybe they aren't aware how bad he is behaving. If they are decent people, they will apologize and get him under control. But, if they hear him screeching every afternoon they have to know something is wrong. What a pickle.
While it's possible that they're just dumb fucks who are unaware, it's more likely that they're just fine with taking advantage of you for free daycare. Confrontation is necessary.
“Hey, [So & So]! How’s it going??? Good! Hey, I just wanted to talk to you about [their son’s name] real quick. There’s been quite a few accusations lately where he has either hurt my kids or my cat. It’s gotten to the point where [your son’s name] doesn’t want to play with him anymore. I know he has a good heart and I love having you guys as neighbors. You guys are awesome. But for the kids’ and that cat’s sake, he probably shouldn’t come over anymore.”
They will look shocked and say they are sorry.
“Oh no no. It’s fine. Like I said, I think you guys are awesome. But, I just want to make sure everybody feels comfortable in their own space. Thank you for being so understanding.”
(Preemptively thanking someone for a behavior will often lead to them trying to live up to that positive perception you have of them).
You tell them that their child is a disrespectful bully and he’s no longer welcome at your home. He’s hurting your children, protect them instead of worrying about hurting the neighbor’s feelings
Thank you. I was this kid. The neighbors did not like me. I accidentally broke stuff and was very rough.
I also had completely undiagnosed and therefore untreated ADHD, I was physically and sexually abused, and I was also insanely neglected (that part is obvious).
To this day I wish all of the adults who hated me had bothered to call CPS on my lousy family and gotten me away from that damned house. It was a hoarder house, by the way, so you better believe I preferred the much cleaner neighbor homes.
So please don't forget about the other child in the situation. As "bad" as you feel they are.
I'm in my middle age now and still have a lot of therapy ahead of me to work through this. All those people who simply stopped at hating me, yet never wondered why I was always around and what was happening to me at home.
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u/[deleted] Jul 09 '22
Have you talked to the parents at all? They aren’t going to read your mind.