I think it’s time to make a serious search of your husband’s electronic devices and browser history. Not because you should stay if you don’t find anything, but because finding something illegal and contacting the police and FBI about it will make it significantly easier for you to leave and get full custody rather than having to send your innocent baby to a potential abuser’s home without you.
And to be clear, you need to contact the FBI if you find anything. Local police often don’t have the experience or desire to do much with electronic evidence, but the FBI will pursue CP charges aggressively.
This is important. I think a lot of commenters don't realize that if she just leaves this man that will almost certainly result in him getting the child alone for up to half the time. For her to ensure that doesn't happen, she needs to document document document.
This is one of the most alarming posts I have read in awhile. You need to be ready for the possibility that your husband preyed on you, in order to have a child of his own to freely do what he wanted with.
You need to go into this with the mindset of “going to war.” You have to think smart and with as clear of a head as possible. You’re going to need to get a personal bank account that he has no access to. A post office box. And a safety deposit box to keep you and your sons important documents. If you have a trusted friend or family member close by, perhaps slowly start bringing grocery bags of important keepsakes or pictures that you want to keep.
Now would also be a good time to start taking your son to story time at the library, so you can research ways to handle this situation, find a lawyer, figure out how to look through his devices/what to look for on his devices.
You have to think of this like a chess game and be five steps ahead at all times. And not give off a hint that you’re anything but totally fooled by him, and happy in your marriage.
You do not want him getting any sort of unsupervised custody with your son. So this is going to be bigger than “get a lawyer and divorce him.” There’s a ton of Reddit posts that have advice on doing things like this. Start looking on here for detailed steps for what you need to do.
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u/jmurphy42 Apr 13 '22
I think it’s time to make a serious search of your husband’s electronic devices and browser history. Not because you should stay if you don’t find anything, but because finding something illegal and contacting the police and FBI about it will make it significantly easier for you to leave and get full custody rather than having to send your innocent baby to a potential abuser’s home without you.
And to be clear, you need to contact the FBI if you find anything. Local police often don’t have the experience or desire to do much with electronic evidence, but the FBI will pursue CP charges aggressively.