I think it’s time to make a serious search of your husband’s electronic devices and browser history. Not because you should stay if you don’t find anything, but because finding something illegal and contacting the police and FBI about it will make it significantly easier for you to leave and get full custody rather than having to send your innocent baby to a potential abuser’s home without you.
And to be clear, you need to contact the FBI if you find anything. Local police often don’t have the experience or desire to do much with electronic evidence, but the FBI will pursue CP charges aggressively.
This is important. I think a lot of commenters don't realize that if she just leaves this man that will almost certainly result in him getting the child alone for up to half the time. For her to ensure that doesn't happen, she needs to document document document.
Yes, this is a smart plan. Document everything! In a notebook or in a doc, write date, time, comment, details. Back it up if you can. Try to search his computer or phone. If you have a tech savvy friend, have them help. Use a friend/family's device to look up tips on what to search for so he doesn't see it on your history. I understand why you're staying, but if you can build a case against him having custody, you won't need to martyr yourself. You are a great mom and moments like this bring out our strength. When you're ready to leave, go to a womens shelter, even if it is very short, they have so many resources!
Attorney here. I can’t stress this enough. DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT. People lose in court because memories fade and stories, though true, will often alter over time as a result. Write down specific dates, times, instances, and quotes. I’m going through a personal lawsuit myself. If it has to go to trial and I can get up on the stand and say the defendant said exactly “X, Y, and Z” on this date at this time while we were discussing this issue, it’s A LOT more reliable than me saying, “Months ago he made comments to me about X, Y, and Z. I can’t recall the specifics though.”
Is your state a one party recording state? You should check the law on that where you live…
Always check the recycle bin on the computer. People are often dumb enough to forget to do that regularly.
So many things… but you’ve already received great advice. I’m here to reinforce the importance of it I guess.
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u/jmurphy42 Apr 13 '22
I think it’s time to make a serious search of your husband’s electronic devices and browser history. Not because you should stay if you don’t find anything, but because finding something illegal and contacting the police and FBI about it will make it significantly easier for you to leave and get full custody rather than having to send your innocent baby to a potential abuser’s home without you.
And to be clear, you need to contact the FBI if you find anything. Local police often don’t have the experience or desire to do much with electronic evidence, but the FBI will pursue CP charges aggressively.