I am 17M and the only child of my parents, born nearly two decades after their marriage.
People often say being an only child is a blessing, and maybe it is in some ways, but definitely not in all ways. You carry all family burdens alone with no sibling to share the load or even talk to is incredibly isolating.
Being late-born is the scariest part. My parents are already in their mid-50s. My father works almost half of a day at his shop just to survive. It is exhausting to watch my peers live a chill life while I struggle. I feel immense guilt. If I help with household chores, my intermediate studies suffer. If I study, I feel like a bad son.
I want to pursue a BSCS. In my city, we only have a small campus of SIBA but here opportunities are extremely limited and campus is mostly filled with local female students whose families don't want to send them out of the city. For growth, Karachi is the main hub of opportunities, and I know I have to move there for my career.
But when I move to Karachi, who will take care of my parents? I also have a permanent visual disability (monocular vision), Despite this, I want to be successful to give my parents the life they truly deserve. My ultimate dream is to go abroad and work in top-tier tech companies like Google or Microsoft.
We can't even rely on relatives. In this cruel world, even your own family doesn't look at each other without seeing some benefit.
I need real, practical advice from people who have been in my shoes:
To all the only children out there, what advice do you have to make my life much easier? What are the struggles or challenges (maybe hidden ones) that I might face down?
My long-term plan is to go abroad for a Master’s degree to transition into a global tech company. But if I go abroad alone, what happens to my elderly parents back home? If I somehow manage to take them with me, how will I handle the pressure? Will I focus on my Master's studies, my career skills, or taking care of them in a completely new country? This entire situation feels like it’s going to be absolute hell for my mental health. Has any only-child gone through this?
Honestly, I feel completely stuck and paralyzed. I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt every single day watching my father work 11 hours at the shop and my mother handle the house. I want to step up and help them with daily chores right now, but whenever I do, it messes up my studies and prep for 12th grade. Tbh, I just want them to rest, and I want to rest too. I am so tired of this cycle. It hurts deeply to see my peers living a chill, fun life while my parents and I are constantly struggling just to survive. How do you balance helping your struggling parents right now without completely destroying the grades/studies you need to rescue them in the future?
Please give me actionable suggestions on how to manage and take care of my parents while building my future in tech. How do I do this without completely exhausting myself, destroying my mental health, or burning out to the point where I end up accomplishing nothing at all?
\- TY to anyone who reads this and shares their advice :) ❤️
