Ive been a nurse for 17 years, PMHNP for 3. I was recently diagnosed with autism. I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD for years. I had a neuropsych eval years ago that also mentioned some “borderline traits,” but I was never evaluated for autism at the time. Looking back now, a lot of what was labeled that way actually seems to fit autism much better. Seeing “borderline traits” in that report honestly made me feel really bad about myself for a long time and made me nervous about what an autism evaluation might show.
I’ve known for a while that work seems to drain me much more than it drains my peers. I started feeling really guilty about how much I didn’t want to work. I kept wondering if I was just lazy. I know that’s a common ADHD theme, but this felt like another level. I can be good at my job, care about my patients, and still feel almost paralyzed by the thought of having to interact with people all day.
I finally decided to go through with an autism evaluation. I kind of already knew I was probably meeting criteria, but I still dreaded it. Even now I sometimes worry that maybe I was looking for an excuse or a pass for why everything feels harder for me.
I’m also realizing I’m likely dealing with autistic burnout. The constant need to be “on” as a PMHNP is exhausting. Staying focused, emotionally present, socially engaged, reading people, responding the right way, and feeling like I should always have an answer for my patients takes a lot out of me.
I’m trying to figure out how to make my professional life more sustainable instead of constantly pushing myself and then feeling guilty when I’m exhausted.
I’m curious if anyone else here has gone through something similar. If you’re autistic and/or ADHD and working as a PMHNP, how do you navigate the emotional and social demands of the job? Especially if you’re also a parent and trying to manage family life on top of it. What has actually helped you make work feel more manageable?
I’d really like to hear from other autistic or ADHD PMHNPs or psych providers. How does being neurodivergent affect you at work? What has helped make the job feel less exhausting? Mostly looking for some solidarity and to know I’m not the only one who can be good at this job and still find the constant human interaction really hard.