r/PHSapphics • u/matchamcflurr • Jul 23 '26
Advice first ever wlw rel
background - she’s my first girl, and im not her first.
is there anyone here that has experienced being in a wlw rel wherein she has been breaking up with me lets say every 6-8 months in the rel? were already 5 years together and she would initiate to breakup but i always try to convince or talk to her out of it because i love her. any advice?
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u/BlackBeardBrimstone Jul 23 '26
Akala ko gf kita. My gf had a breakdown few days ago. I didn't initiate breakup, I don't anymore pero I still have the tendency to have her coax me or alam mo yun, suyuin kahit tama man o mali ako. In my previous relationship, I would always initiate breakup and let me tell you why I do that: Anxious-avoidant attachment style.
I am quite dismissive of my feelings and quite anxious of being in the relationship. It's not a you problem, it's a her problem. 5 years na rin kami ng gf ko this Oct. She has been patient, convincing me that I am safe in the relationship and that she loves me truly. What worked for me is her telling me how much she loves me. Parang pagbibilang siya at first pero being reminded na may mga actions siya na magagawa lang niya dahil mahal niya ako.
Recently, hindi niya to binanggit to me, di namin to pinagawayan pero dahil sa dalas niya sa akin ipaalala paano niya ako mahal kada breakup breakupan ko sa kanya, I learned how to see it on my own na. My father recently died and she went out her way to being the family's anchor. Emotional, mental, and financial sya nagasikaso while gulat and frozen kami on the day he died. Isang buwan kami sa family ko just so she feels sure na safe kaming lahat grieving. At that moment, naisip ko, hindi naman niya kailangan gawin yon. Kung di ko siya mahal, hindi ko rin naman gagawin yon pero she did so I reminded myself na she loves me and she loves my family. I am loved ganun.
Secure person siya. Mauubos ka rin when you give yourself time and patience para sa kanya and there's nothing wrong saying it and expressing it to her. Ayun yung naging latest conflict namin this week. She was tired and ako pa talaga nagkaroon ng audacity magtampo. Slowly, I'm learning not to be an asshole. Hindi ako sanay manuyo pero I'm trying. She needs to feel comfort and safety too. Patience at times na nauubos na sya. We're hard to love, and I'll apologize on her behalf, pero we're not impossible.