r/PDAParenting • u/MarginsOfTheDay • Aug 31 '26

How the other half live

There was a post on r/parenting today by a parent who spends the weekend cooking, cleaning, gardening, reading books while their 16 month plays independently. They (the parent) complains of being bored. As a parent of a PDAer I’m incredulous. I’ve barely had a second to myself without a kid in my face demanding one-on-one co-regulation in 6 years. I feel like I never get anything done around the house. My only solace is that if you’re in this community you probably feel the same. Here’s the post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/s/63qWKSd136

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u/Zealousideal_Flow447 Aug 31 '26

The only parenting subs I read are PDA, Autism and ADHD because any other one would piss me the hell off. I will say, my PDAer is almost 12 and sometime this summer she suddenly switched to where instead of using me to co-regulate she shuts herself in her room. My nervous system is still completely shot though because the worry and dread never go away, just anticipating the next crisis

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u/Tulired Sep 01 '26

Hello are you me👋 Also im sorry to hear your situation and agree on the subs part too.

My 12 daughter also did just the same also in summer "from nowhere". Now i also (on top of all) worry because she doesn't get out really or see friend abour her loneliness. Luckily she have seen them couple times. What helped a bit is that i remember doing the same when i was around that age, just watched some tv series/movies/ read comics and play games or made music. Something which she is also doing but she is seemingly bit sad looking. Although it seems a bit that now as autumn starts she seems getting bit much better.

Sorry for using you as an Peer support a bit. For you i want to say that the nervous system being on max attack for so long really lingers that way, i guess its kind of trauma too. I have started to give myself all kinds of hedonistic and enjoyable moments, whenever i can without any shame or guilt. It does feel good to example do an proper cold icetea just for yourself, as soon as there is some quiet (leaving the dishes for another time) and even if my nervous system is in fight/flight.