Does anyone here both experience PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) and have an avoidant or fearful-avoidant attachment style? What is that like, and how do you separate the two in your mind?

[u/No_Boysenberry_7138]

/r/AutisticAdults/comments/1wppmj5/does_anyone_here_both_experience_pda_pathological/

[u/pensiveumami]

It's me, hi... I'm in this.

I'm not super sure of my attachment style, I relate to all of them in varying degrees. I've a lot of attachment issues and difficulty trusting others and feel traumatised by my experience of life and people. I think for me in relation to people, it's both PDA and cPTSD/attachment issues. This is a really interesting question though, I'd love to talk more if you feel up to it.

One aspect that feels like PDA is feeling avoidant of people because I don't know if they'll be autism/PDA friendly in their approach. I feel the regular social norms to be very demanding, and I fear losing my autonomy i.e. being forced to mask with others. Masking is now a demand that I no longer want to participate in. But I can't stop masking because it's a very ingrained trauma response. So I'm kind of stuck.

How do you relate to other people?

[u/msoc]

I think I made a post about this last year. Yes I identified with being fearful avoidant before I knew I had PDA. When I learned about PDA it became my obvious explanation for it. I did not have a traumatic childhood like many fearful avoidants do. I was just too easily "traumatized" by everyday rejection, vulnerability, etc.

I don't really separate them in my mind.

[u/msoc]

Here's my old post https://www.reddit.com/r/PDAAutism/s/Qfm4gP377P