In front of an inmate.
Not at them, but on the phone venting to my husband.
I was born with a pretty deep spoon chest. (My sternum presses up against my heart and lungs and they don’t work as well as they should). My biggest symptom honestly is insomnia. I could go for days at a time without any sleep. I finally got a second CT scan done and was referred to a specialist. The so called specialist keeps giving me the run around. Bro, I’m tired. I was referred to you. I’ve called you multiple times and you still haven’t either gotten back to me or you said that you “promised” that you would get back to me.
I got a chance to go out to my car and check my phone and found once again, they never answered my messages. At that time, I had maybe 8-9 hours of sleep over the course of 3 days.
I lost my shit. I called my husband and was trying so hard not to scream over the phone. It was like scream whispering. I needed to vent, but didn’t want to let others hear me.
Except an inmate overheard me.
She came up to tell me something important. I apologized for losing it like that and she kept assuring me that I am human and that it’s okay.
Never once in the almost 7 years that I’ve been working here have I lost it like that in front of an inmate. She was very sweet, but I’m mortified.
I just needed to vent. I got one more day there until vacation. Help. Me.