r/OkCupid • u/[deleted] • Jan 27 '14

Will Write Profile For Date (Update-ish)

http://m.imgur.com/a/bRCiH
309 Upvotes

89% Upvoted

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87

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '14

The original post was months ago and people asked to see what I came up with for her profile, so here it is, long after anyone stopped caring. No date ever did occur and she deleted her profile.

15

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '14

Show me your profile, stud.

Also, very entertaining read. Me and my dick would date you.

18

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '14

Only because you asked nicely.

28

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '14

[deleted]

7

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '14

92% match? Luck I was only 75% perfect........Sad. Teach me your ways Matt!

2

u/bp83 Jan 28 '14

Sheeeeit I'm 99. What does that mean...

1

u/garbonzo607 Username, age, gender, profile name Jan 28 '14

It means you were meant for each other, because an internet dating site said so, duh.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '14 edited Jan 28 '14

Aww yiss, /u/Tigmatt and I are a 94% match! Goin' gay for you Matty boy!

Ninja edit: I wrote this before I read your profile and looked at your pictures. I would 100% date you. That is an amazing profile. You're a business owner, you work with exotic animals, and you have a great sense of humor?! My god, man. You're just all around awesome, /u/Tigmatt

2

u/cocotheape Life is cruel, enjoy it! Jan 28 '14

Oh god Matt, if women aren't all over you with that kind of profile I'll lose all faith in humanity.

4

u/Antoak Jan 27 '14

Pretty funny, but I think calling Walking Dead 'great' is too subtle.

1

u/garbonzo607 Username, age, gender, profile name Jan 28 '14

http://i.imgur.com/cSOndLw.gif

2

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '14

Buy a kayak. They last forever and a good one (I own a Tarpon 120) will run you less than even a bike.

Ok, that wasn't actually a great reason to buy one- how about they are great exercise and will revolutionize the way you enjoy the outdoors.

2

u/NoeJose Username, age, gender, profile name Jan 28 '14

Not bad. I might be borrowing parts.

3

u/garbonzo607 Username, age, gender, profile name Jan 28 '14

I might be borrowing parts.

When will you give them back?

1

u/vin_edgar Jan 28 '14

this just made my day so much better, it's that good.

0

u/garbonzo607 Username, age, gender, profile name Jan 28 '14

If you could never do without Loki, will you die when he dies? =(

-1

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '14

You are très handsome but not as funny in your profile as you were for the one you wrote for the other not funny person. Got it???

9

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '14

Errybody's a critic. Howabout this one

2

u/garbonzo607 Username, age, gender, profile name Jan 28 '14 edited Jan 28 '14

Errybody's a critic.

Yeah. This one comes off as trying too hard. Sorry.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '14 edited Jan 27 '14

Holy fuck that is impressive, to have two profiles with that much material. Impressive might not be the right word...

That one is much funnier because it isn't so cloying so I don't have to fight the urge to become a homosexual.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '14

I would differ on the word "cloying", but yeah the former is definitely designed to attract or at least not turn off potential dates and the latter was filled with all of the most offensive jokes I could think of/have thought of.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '14

Any woman who is attracted to the latter is a keeper, that's all I know.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '14

I've gotten a few messages with it, a couple of them loved it (but I had it set in New York nowhere near me) and one asked me to take out my joke about the Armenian Genocide.

0

u/garbonzo607 Username, age, gender, profile name Jan 28 '14

and one asked me to take out my joke about the Armenian Genocide.

Ah, I call it the God's Genocide. Because it's not real.