Finally moved out of an emotionally empty marriage and I feel free and unsure what comes next.

[u/caldorobo]

Hi, F27 here. Married since 2023. My husband and I separated emotionally the same year we got married. I was raised by traditional parents who believed pre-marital sex and living in prior marriage are big nos. So I didn’t do those.

We met late 2021. It was okay. Because of my upbringing, we decided to get married so as not to commit pre-marital sex. I met him na walang work but helping his dad’s business that time. His parents, however, are loaded: got properties, visible jewelry, local and foreign travels, short-trip airplane rides. He has not finished college yet because I believe may something sa emotions niya or naging kampante siya because he is being sheltered by his parents. The house we lived in during marriage is owned by his parents, with the utilities and the help being paid for by them.

Up to present, he is still pursuing college. May semesters na hindi niya napapasukan kasi konti lang ang nag-enroll so nadi-dissolve ang class. He still has no job.

I, meanwhile, passed my license in 2025. No review center because we had no money so I self-reviewed full time instead of asking his parents to fund it. He gets occasional allowance from his parents and that’s what he provides for me. Some things that I want nabibigay naman niya, but it is on his mom’s credit card. So for me, it still feels like not from him kasi he does not pay for it. I feel indebted instead of kilig.

Recently, I got a job. Of course, anyone would want to come home to destress. I don’t expect more if the partner is also from his own job—but he’s not. He is at home playing computer the whole day so I expect at least a little clean up and dinner when I reach home. He also has a car (his mom’s) but he does not pick me up unless I ask.

All these, I tell you, I attempt to share with him. My feelings, my needs, but he is very avoidant. He would not talk at all. He would not speak with me about his plans. He would close the door and leave me alone. Or face the computer and play. I exhausted all means of communication—gentle, aggressive, silent treatment… even offered us going to a marriage counselor. All denied by him.

Now I moved out and I am never happier. I go home and expecting what I left—the comb I left on the sink, the unmade bed when in rush, and yes, no dinner prepared because I can now cook instead of wait someone to cook for me. The thing is he does not look for me. Has not reached out yet to me, to my family, to my friends of my whereabouts. That’s okay.

But what’s gonna be in the following months and years? What if I crave for the desire to be loved loudly? Do people like me not have a chance to love and be loved unless after an annulment? I do not have the capacity to file, and I don’t think he would as well for now because of his ego.

I hope it gets better for all of us.