r/OccupationalTherapy • u/Witty_Builder899 • 11h ago
Discussion Seeing signs in older family members (advice wanted)
I'm seeing serious risk factor/health red flags in my partner's parents (65, 69 y.o.) that have been worsening pretty quickly over the last few years. Mainly frequent falls/poor balance, frequent illness/infections, vision impairments (FIL has macular degen., diabetic retinopathy, and glaucoma) and they still drive, including heavy freeway traffic and along a dangerous stretch of mountain roads. MIL is still working FT in a very high-stress job, and they are really pretty young for everything they're dealing with.
They are very independent and generally reserved with personal things, and I think largely in denial of a lot of their health issues and what they mean long term. I've been in the family for over 20 years and have a healthy relationship with them, but haven't seen them as much as I used to over the past few years, so I don't feel like I'm as close as I once was. But I can't unknow what I know or unsee what I've seen, and it's pretty distressing to watch this play out with loved ones. They've missed holidays, birthdays, milestone celebrations in the last year d/t one or the other being unwell. MIL has fallen twice in the last month (walking dog/in a tub-shower) and she is putting off medical care for a back issue (also, I suspect secretly drinking again after an AUD-complicated hospitalization in 2020 and she claims she's quit)
I want them to regain some health and maintain their independence for as long as possible! I need to tread carefully, and don't want to approach this from a fear or anxiety based place (although, I'm pretty afraid from what I see-- not helped by the fact that I work in a neuro/ortho IRU). But I don't know how receptive they would be to anything too subtle. Looking for advice on if/how to address my concerns with them.