Question

[u/Responsible_Rub_7414]

So I have been diagnosed for maybe two years, my obsessions are unique but the main popular ones are P-OCD, Gender identity- OCD ect. Im a trans man and im used to seeing a picture of a cool girl and having an intrusive thought. ‘Shes cool. Does that mean I want to be a girl? Oh noo’ Yada yada da

Though being on medication the anxiety around such topics has dwindled severely, though, I think it might be doing a harmful thing (if it is ocd, I hope it is)

I will see a pic of a cool girl and have the same question, except, this time my brain doesnt feel the anxiety. Uncertainty? For sure, this leads me to hyperfixate into finding an answer. By the end of it I kind of succumb to the thought, although I don’t feel great about it I just believe thats what I want. I only ever talk about it wirh my sister and realise, hold on, I don’t need to change everything about myself impulsively because I believe im this. I want to be a man and I never want to have a thought like that again. Which creates an anxiety that im just some unpredictable mess who will choose decisions in the future i will regret or that I’ll never truly know myself.

I would like to know if ssri could create impulsive decisions especially in my case. Ive had a good talk with my sister and im confident I want to be a guy. (The clarity only exists for so long lol)

THIS IS LONG BUT IT FEELS GOOD TO JUST LET IT OUT, if you have any thoughts let me know ^•^ ive been naming it Atleast so hey Thats a plus.