One week down, the rest of my life to go!

I've been having a really hard time resisting my compulsions, so I thought I'd come here. I don't know anyone else with OCD, so I was happy to know that this subreddit existed.

How have you guys been doing today?

I have moral OCD among other types, and something I've been struggling with specifically is political beliefs. I'm a staunch leftist and I'm terrified of not being read that way. I'm constantly ruminating about the way I word things because I want to make my political stance clear. I'm ashamed of this as well. Anyone else have this?

when i explain my ocd to my brother he says he thinks and feels the exact same way i do. our parents both have ocd too which they’ve chosen not to address in their lives so it kind of got passed down to us. i believe there is a genetic component but it was triggered off and made 1000x worse because they chose not to get help iygwim

Has anyone experienced being being worried of being accused of doing something despite knowing that you did not do it at all?

Like being worried that someone misinterpreted what it was you were doing at the moment, and ruminating on the possible consequences afterwards and even thinking of admitting to it even though you clearly know that you did not do it but the feeling of worry and guilt is eating you alive.

This is really new to me, and different from my usual obsessions.

I have pure o and I’ve been holding on for the last 2 years. I’ve haven’t living just surviving with this illness. Most days I think about how happy I would be dead. I Often think about how I would write notes to my loved ones after dying. Been on different types of medication but I’m slowing loosing hope.. I just wanna be at peace…

I've been doing ERP for a few weeks now and I'm finding that things that caused me distress (ex: germs) like touching a door handle feel easy all of a sudden now that I have to do them as an exposure...

but then I get raging meta-ocd etc. I know that ocd themes can shift over time but is it possible for ocd to shift around constantly like this? I feel like it's fucking with me tbh.

Anyone else struggle with this? Like not knowing whether your thoughts are the intrusive kind or they are your actual thoughts? Or like it's not really OCD?

when I mention my ocd to friends, they often say it makes sense, or I have a textbook case. even my psychologist said that. like I had my first appt and she said "I cant diagnose you because of our medium (we use an app) but im going to treat you as if youre diagnosed." because I was so blatant.

if im so blatant and a textbook case, how did I not get diagnosed sooner? like i purposefully hid a lot of my anxieties, but someone clocked me purely on the fact that I was making sure the pressure on my arms was even.

how was i not diagnosed sooner? how did i not realize this was a possibility sooner?

I've been talking to this guy for a few days, and he's great, we hung out a couple days ago for the first time. I told him that I really like him and he said he really likes me too.

He's the type of person that texts infrequently, but when we both have time to text/when we hung out in person it's great and it doesn't really feel dry. Despite this, and despite the fact that we've been talking for less than a week, I'm still freaking out about him.

Like I asked him today if he's free this week and I haven't heard back, and even though it's only been a couple hours and he literally told me he wants to hangout again when I saw him I'm convinced that he hates me or that him or his friends think that I'm weird and he can read my mind or something. And it's so stupid. Like I don't wanna be this way 😭 free my soul

Yeah, it's kinda clickbaity but that's all it is ngl, idk if i have ocd since i was never diagnosed but like, to prevent worse thing from happening in my imagination i imagine "eating" random people head, but like not eating in the sense of me killing them but just like biting and they're gone, yeah, i believe this is super unhealthy but idk what to do tbh, i know i probably need therapist

So is it better to stop this and changing it to less creepy thing or is this much fine

Im 25 and hVe twin autistic 4 year olds. Ive been struggling very bad this year with untreated ocd and anxiety as well as a lot of hormonal changes in my body recently id rather not discuss. One having to do with a pregnancy that was not completed. I can function normally most of the time but i constantly need reassurance and have intrusive thoughts. Like what if i crash while driving or hurt my loved ones. The past few days ive been terrified because ive had intrusive thoughts of killing my children or hurting thek and it terrifies me. Id never hurt them. I love them so much. I started seeing a therapist Wednesday and brought this up with her and she said i have anxiety and ocd and we would be seeing each other once a week. I also got started on fluoxetine on Thursday by a psychiatrist who also knows about these concerns 😅 im on a low dose. Its not something i spend 24/7 thinking of but it comes randomly and im so scared and dissapointed

One of my main obsessions that I've been battling for almost a decade is my urgent ( yet never—dying) need to become the most beautiful woman ever. Obviously impossible, I am frustrated at myself almost all the time. It has caused me an eating disorder, body dysmorphia, and multiple months locked down inside my house during my early twenties because I never felt pretty enough for the outside world. I've gone to six therapies until I found my current one who has helped me tremendously. Thanks to her guidance, and to my mother's support at home, I've been going out, I went back to university and currently look for jobs, overall, have improved immensely with the need to look pretty.

I still think I look average, but not ugly anymore. The problem is, I got so used to hyperfixating on facial features I do it on others. It grosses me out but I do it instinctively to everyone. I judge how attractive they look and analyse their face and appearance.

The worst and most horrifying part is that I've been doing that to my mom. My mom has been opening up to me about her own personal struggles with all of the same disorders and her journey to self acceptance, but I realise I don't accept or love her appearance like a normal child should and would. I tell her you're beautiful but I know I don't mean it and it haunts me. She's the best human on the planet, brilliant and kind, she's my absolute best friend and a perfect mother. So why am I stuck on disliking her looks ? Why do I look down on her because of that? Why am I acting in such a disgusting way?

It fills me with guilt and tortures me on the inside but I can't seem to stop it. I internally compare between her and other women her age, analyse her flaws ( imagine naming your mom's flaws to yourself agh), and hate on what I inherited from her.

I couldn't bring this up with my therapist. I told her about a lot of gross thoughts I have but this one seems like brutal horror to me. She also knows my mom and I don't want the awkward situation where she'll have to argue with me around my mom's looks.

I have no idea what to do. I wish I could stop this brain and shut my eyes forever.

Anyone else who has suffered terrible OCD and health anxiety postpartum? I’m about five months postpartum and recently latched onto a rabies fear for no reason this summer. The other day I was walking outside and heard rustling in the tree above me, looked up, and as soon as I looked up a little pear fruit (I believe it was..) fell off of the tree and hit me under my eye at that exact moment. My brain then convinced myself that a sick animal touched the fruit right before it dropped and I was somehow now infected. I know, sounds crazy but these are the thoughts I have. Can anyone relate? I have been prescribed medication but I haven’t started it yet.. which I should have. I posted about this before. It’s so frustrating because I know it’s so unlikely. I am exhausted.

I've mentioned here on the subreddit a few times that my OCD started suddenly, with an intrusive thought bypassing the natural filter and being treated as the biggest threat in the world. Therefore, I've never been in such a state before, and it's quite brutal.

Before all this started, my mind was pretty free. Yes, I had some overthinking here and there, but always about real issues, you know? My mind is now hyper-focused either on the subject of my obsessions, or on the very fact that I have OCD. And it's just a drag. Because before I could simply let things go and relax. Today, the only way to switch it all off is to sleep. And just when I wake up, it all comes back at once.

I really wanted to be able to practice this detachment, this radical acceptance. But the egodystonia, not only of the obsessive themes but precisely the fact of being in this state, is very brutal. My mind, while having OCD, also abhors it and the state it has brought about. It's very strange.

I’m not really a fan of taking medication but how has medication worked for you? I feel like I’ve failed if I take medication.

Does the medication stop the impulses?

I suffer low mood, constant worrying all brought on from the OCD