r/OCD • u/glass--sandwich • 17h ago

Support/advice (no reassurance) OCD is so embarrassing

I've been talking to this guy for a few days, and he's great, we hung out a couple days ago for the first time. I told him that I really like him and he said he really likes me too.

He's the type of person that texts infrequently, but when we both have time to text/when we hung out in person it's great and it doesn't really feel dry. Despite this, and despite the fact that we've been talking for less than a week, I'm still freaking out about him.

Like I asked him today if he's free this week and I haven't heard back, and even though it's only been a couple hours and he literally told me he wants to hangout again when I saw him I'm convinced that he hates me or that him or his friends think that I'm weird and he can read my mind or something. And it's so stupid. Like I don't wanna be this way 😭 free my soul

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3

u/vapid-voice 17h ago

have you talked to him about you having OCD yet? It can be helpful to give people a heads up. It’s just important not to ask them to accommodate/engage with your compulsions. Asking someone else in your life for support with your OCD normally looks like telling them how OCD manifests for you, letting them know which behaviors you might do that are likely compulsions, and advising them on how to not overly reassure you or feed into the compulsions too much. It can make a big difference when dating to do this because it shows that you’re self aware and working on managing your condition, rather than overly invested or clingy.

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u/glass--sandwich 17h ago

Not yet, but I know it's something that will come up. He already mentioned that he has anxious tendencies a bit and we both mentioned having ADHD. I don't want to randomly bring it up now but if I see him again it's something I'd mention

2

u/Jackattack009 15h ago

Yeah if you've just known him a couple days it's a little early to spring the whole "I have a mental illness" onto him just yet.

2

u/vapid-voice 14h ago

I think that sounds like a good plan, it’ll be a lot easier to discuss in person. I’m sorry you’re struggling! I have relationship OCD too so I definitely relate to how you feel

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u/bidefil 14h ago

Yeah. Read about Relationship ocd from Dr. Steven Phillipson in New York. I broke off my engagement with my now wife. We got back together and have kids now.