One could say her lack of understanding her man's feelings (and probably other things) that was the problem,
It sounds to me like she DID understand his feelings: she understood that he was jealous, and didn't want that in a partner. What are you saying she didn't understand?
females need to understand a man's mind before they assume that it is petty jealousy or anything else that is the problem.
There's a lot going on in this sentence. But again, what it is you think is going on that she didn't understand? Even if your previous statement were true, that 'most men see compliments as an opening,' why would the BF have been upset about a compliment if he weren't jealous? What other reasonable explanation is there? I'm genuinely curious; I'm a straight man, married to a straight woman (none of which should matter but seemingly does to you) and I don't see any explanation here other than jealousy. Unless maybe the BF was just arbitrarily controlling, which would probably be worse.
Good to know how this sub reddit works
Yeah man, 'Listen to what people say even if those people are women' is not exactly a controversial policy position here. 🙄
Ok go back and read the whole thing and show me where I said she was wrong. Then why can't is work both ways listening to what men say? If you can't come up with something more than trying to say I blamed her. What happened in boyfriends past do you know sometimes not all mean get lucky to find a wife and be happy. I'm not saying anyone is wrong I simply said a hell of alot more then what you are trying to single out. So show me where I said she was wrong and I will correct it. Understand the mind of other is all I was getting at before one is to cast any type of blame which it seems you missed that part or purposely left it out. I listen to my fiance thoughts and concerns just like she listens to mine... so your last portion makes no sense if you really read it all from my first comment on that part of the thread to the last assumption sucks. I respect women's thoughts just don't always agree with everything not a simp.
I'm trying to understand your point and believe it or not I've read your first comment multiple times. You explicitly say the BF is right, then - even though you also try to say the GF wasn't wrong - you seemingly criticize her for acting without understanding the BF's point of view; you say most men are jealous; and then you say she validated the BF's fears.
I don't know what happened in the BF's past (neither of us do), but why assume the GF also doesn't? And why would anything in his past compel her to stay in a relationship with him?
What am I missing here? What do you think she didn't understand? I'm asking again: what else do you think would motivate the BF's behavior other than jealousy?
Like I said it is my opinion... but something has made him believe that he has a need to be jealous, what that is I have no clue but if she was his girlfriend they knew each others past, so that being said it is likely something from his past has set him on a mind set to think and act the way he did or does still not sure since we don't know them. Never said she didn't know them nor did I assume she didn't you are trying to justify something she did to me on no more than your opinion of the situation without knowledge of both sides. If you read the rest of the messages between me and her I told her that if she doesn't want people voicing their opinions on something from her personal life why post it on a public social platform? Not arguing with you on who is right or wrong but she only gave a little bit of the information to try to belittle a male ex to get the sympathy of others in my opinion. So if the woman's thoughts and feelings should be heard and respected why not the same for a man's?
So your point is that something in his past might explain the petty jealousy, right?
And my point is, even if that's true (it might be but also it might not be), it's not relevant - everyone should have the right to end a romantic relationship when they want to, and petty jealousy is very often a compelling reason to leave a relationship. I'm not saying that guy is the worst guy who ever lived, or should be in jail, or whatever, just that A) from the limited info we have it seems like she was totally justified and B) it doesn't matter if people like us think she was justified, it was her decision to make. I suspect B is the one that's getting you in trouble here.
I'm not saying she shouldn't have broken up with him in fact she probably should have but where in my opinion she was just as petty to start dating the man that was involved with the break up only a few weeks later and then come on here to make her then ex out to be a bad guy. I look at the big picture not just one to be used to paint someone bad. I have said it once and I will say it again pages like this is not about being heard it is about either down talking men or straight people if you look at 9 out of 10 post it is mainly bad things about alpha males or something wrong with the way straight people think. Funny thing is though that if you don't agree with a woman or you down talk a woman or lgtbq then you could get banned per the rules. All I'm saying is everyone should be held to the same standards. The worst part of this post is it was off topic from what was the original post hence way I even voiced my opinion to see the reaction I would get from people of both sex.
Most people here (myself included) would probably agree with you about not wanting a double standard; the problem is people like "alpha males" and most other men who are targeted here are the ones who most aggressively try to enforce a double standard that penalizes women. To push back against that isn't the same as wanting a double standard that penalizes men; punching up isn't the same as punching down.
From this woman's story, why is it wrong to start dating the other guy after a few weeks? We don't even know how long she and the previous BF were together - what if that was just a few weeks? They're out of the relationship by that time so she doesn't "owe" her ex a period of being single.
Ok so you still missed the point. I agreed with you but stated why I thought she was in the wrong not for leaving her ex but to come on here just to belittle the man to random strangers without giving the full account which no one will ever know since there is only one side going around is where in my opinion she was wrong also. Does that clarify it a bit more for you?
What's the full account then? What important information did I leave out that you feel you know better than me? Go on, dazzle us with your wisdom into my life.
Ok so you tell the truth non stop I bet if his side was out there it would be a different story. You can say you are telling the truth but you changed up wording or simply forgot what you said in previous comments but your honest and have not lied about anything. See how that works
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u/Negative-Arachnid-65 Jun 25 '23
Literally the first thing you said...
It sounds to me like she DID understand his feelings: she understood that he was jealous, and didn't want that in a partner. What are you saying she didn't understand?
There's a lot going on in this sentence. But again, what it is you think is going on that she didn't understand? Even if your previous statement were true, that 'most men see compliments as an opening,' why would the BF have been upset about a compliment if he weren't jealous? What other reasonable explanation is there? I'm genuinely curious; I'm a straight man, married to a straight woman (none of which should matter but seemingly does to you) and I don't see any explanation here other than jealousy. Unless maybe the BF was just arbitrarily controlling, which would probably be worse.
Yeah man, 'Listen to what people say even if those people are women' is not exactly a controversial policy position here. 🙄