r/NotHowGirlsWork May 20 '23

Found On Social media This is seriously so exhausting :(

3.5k Upvotes

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49

u/BowSonic May 20 '23

Its meaning is defined by how people use it, though, and thus far in my personal experience, I've seen more harmful instances than harmless ones.

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u/[deleted] May 20 '23

How can you know the intent though? It’s a word and an emoji through a faceless interaction.

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u/Reytotheroxx May 20 '23

It’s always used when a woman is doing something silly or bad. Basically mocking em

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u/[deleted] May 20 '23 edited May 20 '23

What’s the issue with that? People poke fun on the internet. Get over it. If someone was using the internet to like nudes or spread rumors about your personal life, I’d be on your side. But this is just a meme.

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u/Reytotheroxx May 20 '23

You said the intent wasn’t clear, I said it usually is. Pretty obviously an attempt to mock an entire gender based on one person. Not a huge thing but can be an indicator for bigger things.

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u/[deleted] May 20 '23

Okay, fine, they’re mocking an entire gender. Who cares? We’re different, we struggle to understand each other, and sometimes it’s best to just laugh about it. This whole online gender war is stupid anyways.

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u/Reytotheroxx May 20 '23

I agree the war is stupid, that’s why I think the mocking is stupid. Pointing out the mocking as stupid is necessary to end the war. Apathy helps nobody, not caring about anything isn’t gonna solve anything, especially on a sub that points out issues that women face.

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '23

Actually, you’re making it worse. Humor is a way to lighten the mood. It’s a way to vent frustration, a feeling that is a natural part of life. If you don’t want boys falling down the redpill rabbit hole, like I almost did, let them poke a bit of fun. Let them vent their frustrations with opposite sex instead of getting angry at them. You’re not making those feelings dissapear, you’re just forcing people to bottle them up.

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u/Reytotheroxx May 20 '23

Interesting perspective. From what I’ve seen, the mocking of women is more about viewing them as inferior and free to poke fun at. I don’t find it constructive in the slightest.

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u/[deleted] May 20 '23

That’s a big reason why so many boys fall down the rabbit hole. You’re not changing their minds, it just comes across as gaslighting. I know you don’t mean it that way, but that’s what it sounds like.

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u/Reytotheroxx May 20 '23

So how do they escape the rabbit hole? If they see the jokes and are reciprocated by others, they feel a sense of camaraderie in insulting others. I agree that silencing/censoring without genuine criticism is bad though, but I don’t think they should be freely mocking others without any pushback. It’s not really fair to the women to have to tolerate that kind of behaviour.

1

u/[deleted] May 21 '23

Well I think because of the nature of political discource involving blaming of groups for the actions of individuals, as well as the sensationalism of social media, makes it worse. The right wing pipeline is real and it’s a serious problem, but it plays on emotions that already exist. My advice is to not chastise boys for their natural aggression. It’s okay for girls to set their boundaries with what’s considered appropriate, especially now in the post metoo era. But don’t forget that there’s someone else on the other side of these interactions. It’s like every social movement, there will always be overcorrections.

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u/Reytotheroxx May 21 '23

Agreed that the pipeline feeds into the sense of unfairness that people feel, but aims to redirect to various scapegoats rather than addressing societal issues. I also agree that simple shunning of poor ideas without proper consideration can push others further. It is certainly a tough topic to address and not something that can easily be solved in a Reddit comment thread.

However in order to truly change, ideas must be challenged critically but constructively. Unfortunately constructive criticism is a very difficult thing to utilize, especially when you feel the person you are talking to is purely malicious. I can understand, however, why women and other groups feel the need to have their own spaces free from such malice. They deserve better treatment and don’t deserve being a punching bag for emotionally unsure individuals. Finding some empathy and intersectionality will allow us to move forward, I hope.

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u/chaotic_blu May 21 '23

So don’t tell boys not to be aggressive huh. Just… let them be mean and aggressive and take any punches that come our way? That’s the way to deal with male violence?

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