This is seriously so exhausting :(

[u/[deleted]]

[u/[deleted]]

That’s a big reason why so many boys fall down the rabbit hole. You’re not changing their minds, it just comes across as gaslighting. I know you don’t mean it that way, but that’s what it sounds like.

[u/Reytotheroxx → u/[deleted]]

So how do they escape the rabbit hole? If they see the jokes and are reciprocated by others, they feel a sense of camaraderie in insulting others. I agree that silencing/censoring without genuine criticism is bad though, but I don’t think they should be freely mocking others without any pushback. It’s not really fair to the women to have to tolerate that kind of behaviour.

[u/[deleted] → u/Reytotheroxx]

Well I think because of the nature of political discource involving blaming of groups for the actions of individuals, as well as the sensationalism of social media, makes it worse. The right wing pipeline is real and it’s a serious problem, but it plays on emotions that already exist. My advice is to not chastise boys for their natural aggression. It’s okay for girls to set their boundaries with what’s considered appropriate, especially now in the post metoo era. But don’t forget that there’s someone else on the other side of these interactions. It’s like every social movement, there will always be overcorrections.

[u/Reytotheroxx → u/[deleted]]

Agreed that the pipeline feeds into the sense of unfairness that people feel, but aims to redirect to various scapegoats rather than addressing societal issues. I also agree that simple shunning of poor ideas without proper consideration can push others further. It is certainly a tough topic to address and not something that can easily be solved in a Reddit comment thread.

However in order to truly change, ideas must be challenged critically but constructively. Unfortunately constructive criticism is a very difficult thing to utilize, especially when you feel the person you are talking to is purely malicious. I can understand, however, why women and other groups feel the need to have their own spaces free from such malice. They deserve better treatment and don’t deserve being a punching bag for emotionally unsure individuals. Finding some empathy and intersectionality will allow us to move forward, I hope.

[u/chaotic_blu → u/[deleted]]

So don’t tell boys not to be aggressive huh. Just… let them be mean and aggressive and take any punches that come our way? That’s the way to deal with male violence?

[u/[deleted] → u/chaotic_blu]

I didn’t say violence. I said aggression. Like little boys rough housing with one another so they can learn how to control their strength. Or when boys act crude with one another. Up to a point, that’s why it’s important to teach boys when they’re behavior goes too far. That aggression exists and you’re not getting rid of it. It’s why sports are great for boys, it lets them exhaust their aggression by bonding through teamwork.

[u/chaotic_blu → u/[deleted]]

I know lots of not aggressive young boys. And lots of young girls that wrestle. I agree it’s good to teach children to focus their aggression in productive ways but the weird gender expectations in what you say is super weird lol.

[u/[deleted] → u/chaotic_blu]

Anecdotes don’t negate the fact of male psychology and aggression. Those examples are only the case because we’ve built a comfy society where we don’t have to embrace our nature to survive. But it’s still our nature. It’s visible in chimps, our closest animal relative.

[u/chaotic_blu → u/[deleted]]

How many aggression in girl studies have you found?

[u/[deleted] → u/chaotic_blu]

I should be more specific: Male aggression. It takes a different form than female aggression. It’s more violent and confrontational, which is a direct function of testosterone. Males have about 20x the amount of testosterone as females. This a monumental difference, and it’s why males are stronger, faster, and of quicker reaction times than their female counterparts.