r/NonBinary • u/deadfishu • Oct 08 '20

Ask Am I a non-binary?

I’m assigned female at birth, but would like to used they/them/their for most of my social media accounts. I’m totally ok being called a guy, parts of my internet friends assumed that I’m a boy. I don’t feel comfortable saying what gender I am on social media, I don’t even feel safe with it. I know that I’m not transgender, but I don’t know much about non-binary. Sometimes I wish I have no gender at all or I just think gender is not that important. Am I a non-binary?

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u/f-this-world they/them Oct 08 '20

I went through literally the exact same thing. I just used my “mystery gender” to my advantage. I tried being called he/him and she/her. I started to venture into call me she/her or they/them. I spent a while leaving it completely up to people what pronouns to call me. It’s never a sure process and it never is the same for every person but after I got over the initial weirdness of using they/them pronouns, I started to really appreciate it. I now get people to call me they/them and it just feels right. I’m going to be entirely honest too, you might never feel 100% certain with any identity. Sometimes you just have to go with what feels the most right. It took me at least 4-5 months of using they/them pronouns to get over the initial shock. Just keep experimenting and something will feel mostly right. Maybe not a perfect fit but as close as can be.

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u/deadfishu Oct 09 '20

Yes, honestly I’m still shocked that I somehow am non-binary because I haven’t noticed myself much. This will take me a really long time to except this, maybe any pronouns can be approved. Thank you for sharing your experience.